Today, I feel in excruciating pain, not just physically but mentally. It's depressing to know that there is a vibrant world out there which I can't be part of. I stay in bed at least 60% of the time, whether sleeping or resting. It's like being in limbo. Everything is gradually wasting away, getting weaker, but I don't have the strength, energy or motivation to take control. I know that my husband thinks I'm a waster - he'd leave if he could. But I don't think I'd blame him. He's fit, active and wants to enjoy life. Do things and go places. Some days I can't muster up the energy to talk. Noises, lights all irritate me. My body is sensitive and I hate him pulling the covers off me as a joke. I don't find it funny. In fact, I don't find anything funny anymore. I wish I had something to feel passionate about. I can't seem to keep up with life. I guess you could say i'm a zombie. Neither living nor dead. I have no structure. What do people do to cheer themselves up? How do you stay cheerful? I feel miserable and tormented...,,,,,
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