I work in a hospital in the ER and OR department. I am having trouble with brain fog lately, and my co workers are really making everything 10x worse. They are really mean to each other, and like to backstab people when they can. Usually, I can stay below their radar, and their drama doesn’t really bother me - but lately omg! I am training non stop. Other people train for 3 days tops - I train for weeks at a time. But this is really exhausting me and I get these times where I’m just in limbo.
Is there anything I can do to boost energy and get clearer thinking? I am exhausted. I can’t take one more person’s snide remarks. I going to snap. And that is not at all like me.
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Willow7733
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Hi Willow, that sounds like a really difficult situation. I’m sorry to hear your colleagues are not supportive. Can you approach your manager about your workload? Are they supportive? It sounds like you might need a bit of a break atm. I don’t know if taking leave is an option for you, but if you have been thinking about it, that might be a sign that you could use a break.
I work too and really struggle with fatigue and brain fog. Nothing really gives me more energy per se, but a few things seem to help prevent the fatigue from getting worse (apologies if you already do these things): herbal tea; staring out the window for 2min; popping outside for some air (volunteering to do a coffee run if ‘popping out’ is taboo in your workplace); making sure I take my breaks and leave on time; sensory things like scented sprays, music, stuffed toys; stretching; drinking copious amounts of water (gives me excuses to go to the toilet more often too); talking to my external supervisor; and, as a last resort, going home sick if I just can’t.
Don’t know if any of this is helpful, but please rest assured, you are not alone in your struggles. Let us know how you get on. We’re here for you 🌻🌈
That sounds really horrible and I sympathise (I'm not quite sure what you meant by 'training for weeks at a time' though...and why you and no-one else). I'm sure you've read up enough about lupus to know that it can be triggered by emotional stress. I'm personally quite sensitive to nasty cultures and work freelance to avoid them (used to be an academic - I'm sure I don't need to explain!).
Is it that you have a weak line manager, who has allowed this permissive culture? Doesn't sound like it does anyone any good and perhaps, without naming names, a discussion about improving behaviour and therefore morale might help. I don't think it is up to you to improve your capacity to deal with s**t xx
We have different parts of the OR I work in. They hire casuals because we are so short staffed. Most people in the department have a trainee for three days or four - for my position, I train a person anywhere from 2 to 3 weeks (more if they are asked and feel the need for more time until they are comfortable). There are two of us that do my job, but the other woman doesn’t train. She is close to retiring, and everything that is stressful falls to me. I have been training steadily now since last summer - if it isn’t a new employee, it is a nursing student that are coming for job shadowing to get their practicum finished for that portion of their training.
I am trying real hard to not be stressed, but these days, in this line of work, it is getting very difficult.
You seem to be in a situation where because you are good at your job and good with people, all the responsibility for training falls on you. This seems to me to be one thing you could sort out with your manager, as you are being taken advantage of. It is really up to them to hire people who can do the job, not do nothing and just dump everything on the nearest person who is capable.
One thing I recognise in myself is a problem with boundaries, which always adds to my stress. So I have learned the hard way to say no. Perhaps see your line manager with a union rep, and say that you want the same level of training as everyone else in the team? As a first step anyway.
My manager sees the problem and talks to me nearly every week about it. We have had meetings, and she mentioned getting the union behind me. I am just so exhausted and I don’t want to fight these people. They are acting like children.
Well maybe snapping at them wouldn't be such a bad thing. I once did that, there was a woman in my work place who moaned a lot and got the others into the habit. They got to being completely unreasonable and were moaning about a change the boss had made even though it was for the benefit of the staff and cost him money! I had a good go at them and things improved.
How about getting the backstabbers and line manager into a meeting and explaining that their constant backstabbing is getting you down and that it isn't very professional in the work place? They are probably enjoying themselves and don't realise the impact their behaviour is having on you.
I really feel for you, I worked in healthcare all my life firstly as a nurse and later as a specialist practitioner in public health. I loved my career I was proud to work for the NHS but there’s always been a degree of bullying and backstabbing. It seems worse if you’re vulnerable and unwell, I actually believe others in the profession behave really badly towards unwell colleagues. You would think they would have some empathy but it’s really not the case. I found the fatigue of trying to manage my role and deal with unpleasantness forced my hand in the end and I retired early. Did I do the right thing? Should I have fought more to remain in my role idk 🤷♀️ tbh but I do know my mental health was taking a bashing to the point I no longer felt the will to carry on and that changed overnight once I left that toxic situation. So my advice to you is to address it head on and not reach a point where you feel less worthy of your right not to be in such a toxic work situation. There’s something really wrong with people needing to be behave like that. I left 7 years ago and I have zero regrets and I now work from home. It took awhile to recover and get to the point where I feel both blessed and lucky to be here. Good luck and remember your worth.
It is funny you say that because it was my annual performance review with my manager last Monday and she said I really underestimate my abilities and work. I told her I have been conditioned to think poorly of myself by a few in the department, and she knew exactly who without me naming them. She told me I am the hardest working employee there (I never say no to overtime and I am always ready to help others when they fall behind). It was such a relieve that my nursing manager sees me and my work, rather than believes any gossip she may be told. It is so draining! I dream of retirement (I am 50), but I can’t anytime soon. I live alone, have a mortgage (I love my home and don’t ever have any to leave it). Pretty soon, I will need a new car. I just can’t do it right now. I am stuck.
It’s good to hear your manager sees you, I hope you can take some comfort from hearing how much she thinks of you. I wish I could offer you some advice on how to manage some of your unkind colleagues. It’s exhausting being around toxic people but they seem to feed off kindness. I imagine they are probably driven by a degree of envy. I hope moving forwards you can be more confident in yourself.
Hi Willow. Humans are humans no matter where they live. Here in US my daughter is a nurse and when she was training and her first several years in ICU the gals treated each other same way. Backstabbing etc and she ignored it until she couldn’t. Her manager knew like yours and they all did their best to carry on. She loved her job but transferred to another specialty/ER. Everyone has to be on it! In emergency so no time for unproductive talk.
I was a teacher and in the early 1980’s I was so so naive. I thought teachers helped each other to be the best that they could be. Was I ever wrong. It was a cutthroat business. Extremely competitive and camaraderie was a lost dream. Walking into the lunchroom meant hearing them talk about you or others. So the last year (I stayed 10) I wore my favorite perfume everyday all over my body. I was a walking cosmetics counter. As soon as I approached they scuttled away like roaches. My students on the other hand liked it and luckily for me no one was allergic. After I left and got married I worked as a substitute teacher. No contract, no “peers” and I got to choose which teachers to sub for/ only the ones with highly organized classrooms and motivated students. BTW: lupus was undiagnosed and my husband and I knew I wasn’t right. Looking back what helped was choosing to teach in an independent way. Only I knew how tired and fogged out was.
Last. Bone broth has been a staple of mine for 10 years. I think it sustains me and clears my mind. Also encapsulating vitamin C a few times a week. Amazon has some good ones. 💜
Good morning Willow!....I cannot add anything else which hasn't been said already by such wanderful community that we have here!..... except I feel for you!... After your review this would have given you much more confidence and boost already!!....As mentioned below.....Short,sharp snap would imop would clear the air, standing your ground firmly!.. Sending good wishes from Thailand..... hope calmer and harmonious times ahead soon!❤️
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