mental health issues : someone I know tried taking... - LUPUS UK

LUPUS UK
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mental health issues

shaun1610
shaun1610

someone I know tried taking there own life ,, she was put to mental team in Halifax hospital ,, then passed to ppl in Dewsbury ,, who have done absolutely nothing for her , she wouls go into a room ,, and the person would just sit back and say ,, OK TELL ME WHATS HAPPENING ,,,, whats that about ,,,, SHE CANT BRING HERSELF OUT ,, OF HERSELF ,, AND NEEDS HELP TO TALK ,,, they would have had her notes ,,, yet did nothing to help her with the mental pain of trying to take her own life ,, and find away of bringing her out of herself ,,, she was lively , bubbly , always active ,, before this happened ,,,, ( ,, reason this happened I cant go into ,, ) ,,, but she is now just going deeper into herself ,, ,, wont go out ,, scared to meet ppl ,,avoids anything she can ,, is putting loads weight on ,, because she wont do anything ,, I HAVE TRIED MY BEST TO HELP HER ,, by taking her out ,, not to pubs ,,, just out ,,, I AM THE ONE THAT FOUND HER THAT MORNING OVER A YEAR AGO ,, she was in coma for 7 days ,, nearly didn't make it ,, ????? HOW CAN I FIND SOMEONE TO HELP HER , WITH HER INNER MIND ,, help her to talk about things ,,, NOT PUT HER IN A ROOM ,, AND SAY ,,, TELL ME WHAT YOUR FEELING ,, THEN MESS ABOUT WITH THERE MOBILE PHONE ,, I don't know what to do anymore to help her out , except just being there for her ,, ????

13 Replies
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I don't know the answers to your questions, but 'just being there' might be the best anyone could do in this situation. If you can, maybe keep reminding her that things will change, that nothing lasts forever, that there will be better times ahead, sooner or later? Try to find the things that help you to cope and let go of the things that you can't control? Small steps, small goals? Hope it gets easier soon.

shaun1610
shaun1610
in reply to whisperit

ok thanks

I agree with Whisperit - but you also need to take care of yourself too otherwise you are really going to struggle to provide your friend with the support she needs.

You could write a letter of complaint to the trust (with your fiends permission/signature of course) - no mental health professional should be treating patients the way you describe.

It may be helpful to get in touch with an advocacy service for advice on what to do next - they know the score and the local systems that are unique to where you live and should be able to advise you on further steps - all of this will need to be on the authority of your friend though. It may help ease the pressure on you if your friend accesses an advocate too - so freeing you to have time to do the nicer side of supporting your friend like taking her out - rather than battling the system her behalf all the time.

I've included some links that you may find useful - I'm hoping at least some of them are for the area in which you live...

touchstonesupport.org.uk/se...

cloverleaf-advocacy.co.uk/

cloverleaf-advocacy.co.uk/c...

kcalc.org.uk/our-services/n...

northkirkleesccg.nhs.uk/hea...

Remember you are doing the best you can with what you have. You also need to look after you if you have any hope of looking after anyone else - I'm hoping you have some support for yourself - family/friends.

Goo luck and take care of yourself x

shaun1610
shaun1610
in reply to Serser

nope just me ,, dont have time to take care of myself ,, need to make sure she ok ,, these sites you sent , are they physiotherapy , that's what she needs someone to help her open up if someone can help her to just talk about things , she would start to feel better ,,, I know she feels stupid about what she did , and realises how silly it was , she just needs to tell someone who is not a friend or me etc ,, like I said the last ppl she saw in Dewsbury ,, just sat there ,, and said to her ,, OK TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED THEN PLAYED ON THERE PHONE ,,,, ??? instead of getting there slowly , helping her to come out of herself ,, thanks for your reply

Serser
Serser
in reply to shaun1610

Hi Shaun,

All the links are to do with advocacy and how to make a complaint to improve care, I can’t see anything on them about physiotherapy? So I’m not sure about that one.

Your friend sounds like she needs help from mental health professionals, if she isn’t getting that help, the most helpful thing you can do is to advocate for her in helping her to get the quality of care she needs and deserves.

There will be counselling services in your area if you google that too, but I suspect she needs more in depth help than these services could offer.

I really do hope you both get the help you need.

shaun1610
shaun1610
in reply to Serser

many thanks

whisperit
whisperit
in reply to shaun1610

It's likely going to be a slow process. Apart from NHS professionals, there may be a few mental/emotional health organisations that are charities or support groups who could offer something useful. Maybe a telephone helpline or online chat service would be easier to access than face-to-face talking? You can talk to the Samaritans on the phone 24 hours a day on 116 123, and they will be happy to stay on the line and listen for as long as you like (even if you can't think of anything to say!). Another good one for under 35 year-olds is Papyrus 0800 068 41 41 (SMS: 07786 209697). You will surely also have a local branch of MIND, and they often run things like drop in sessions for coffee and a chat, and usually link into a local counselling service too. Their information line is 0300 123 3393 (text 86463)

like @Serser says, don't forget to look after yourself too. It's a punishing business looking after anyone in crisis. x

shaun1610
shaun1610
in reply to whisperit

many thanks , but she needs face to face , with someone ,

whisperit
whisperit
in reply to shaun1610

Sure, personal contact is almost always the best thing. Sometimes it can't be done and any human contact is better than nothing.

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Sadly this happens a lot within mental health sevices in the UK. She's very lucky to have such a caring friend like you shaun1610. Along with the useful links in the above replies, I would take them somewhere in nature next time you plan on taking them out. As far away from the madding crowd as possible!

Many people that are suffering with mental illness often feel overwhelmed in a busy, noisy environment. Maybe a picnic in a quiet part of a local park or something. It will do you both good...

Best theropy on the planet...

All the best... X

I do take her out in country side , not pubs or town etc , I do picnics , safari parks etc ,

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Have you tried contacting this mental help charity?

mind.org.uk/

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