In real life I've never talked about emotion and feeling because I think it'll become so drama and I hate it, but here I want to explain a little. I'm a 24 yo woman, had lupus since I was 14. My life was okay back than, but after I got lupus, there were changes. First, of course I have to get medications everyday. Okay that's not good but I could tolerate that. Second, my lupus is attacking mostly my hair, I have hair loss and it stressed me out. This one bothers me a lot, but in this post I want to talk about the other important thing, relationship. Since I knew I had this, I never talked about it to my best friends, and I took distance from my friends. I mean, I'm still good friends, but I just don't tell everything about lupus to them.
Why? Because I knew it first when I was 14 and at that time my friends maybe had no clues about what is it. So, I don't want them to overthink this as cancer or anything because it's hard to explain this disease to other people. So, until now, none of my friends knew about this, and sometimes it's hard to hang out with them since I feel like hiding something. I knew they are all good, but I just want others to look at me as a normal person. If I tell them, I couldn't be normal. Since this one is an autoimmune disease, people sometimes will connect this to leukemia, even though it's different.
So, I don't want to be dramatic, but this disease lower my self esteem too. My face look fat and I'm having hair loss. I've read all the self help motivation and I understand how to get more self esteem technically. But it is so much harder than just reading on the book.
I just want to know, anyone who had lupus, how could you handle this? Please let me know your experience maybe it could help me.