Confused and scared

Hi I'm 40, I have 10 children and in 6 year's my health has deteriorated by 60%,IV had blood test MRI, after hitting rock bottom I decided 6 months ago that I would ask my doctor for some help, it was a waste of time, my muscular frame is crumbling and I'm constantly in pain everywhere some time I can't or don't want to get out of bed,I feel such a let down to my children,

11 Replies

  • Hi Sarah, poor you. It sounds luke youve been having a nightmare. My agvice is to dust yourself off. Pop your boxing gloves on then go kick your drs butt!!! If you are getting nothing from them, then change to another one. This is YOUR body, YOUR life and YOUR kids that this is affecting, not theirs!!! It took me years too but got there in the end xxx

  • Thanks but I tried that and they accuse me of being mental instability, I'm not some one who will sit back and do nothing, but I feel beat,

  • Hi Sara....I am one of 13 children. I know what your life is like. Wow.

    I would start with stress vitamins b complex and b12. And go get blood tests! Find out what your iron is like, your vit d. You could also start taking vit d. I take 5000 iu a day.

    Sometimes, we dont realize how run down one gets having children.

    Check your liver function as well.

    Please keep us in touch with how you are?

  • I'm anemic, currently waiting for an MRI,IV always been strong willed,I will never be challenged over my kids, I'm under heavy counselling and hospital but 6 year's of battling, no family at all,I ain't feeling sorry for my self,I am angry and frustrated with myself for getting like this,

  • Hello sara10kids

    I'm glad you've asked for advice. Wow! 10 children! You deserve a medal. I'm 42 and have 3, aged 12, 11 and 9. I struggle with them and lupus. I feel guilty every single day and frustrated at how crap I am. So I can totally sympathise!

    Would you mind telling us what your diagnosis are? Are you on any meds? Do you have a Rheumatologist or a Rheumy / lupus nurse to contact in emergencies?

    But I totally agree with the other two replies you've had. Go back to the doctors demand help. And if you don't get a positive response - change GP or move surgery. You need some help and you have every right to get it.

    Maybe you need iron or Vit D or B12? Something simple and easy to fix. Or maybe you're flaring and need something for that. But I'm sure someone will help sort you out.

    Please let us know how you get on. It can be a fight to get help but it's worth it for your sake and your children. Good luck!

  • No body has explained what lupus is to me,IV been deteriorated slowly for 6 year's before that I was never ill

  • Am vvvv much feeling for you

    Glad you've got these great replies

    re you living in the USA Sara?

  • You must be inside my head,I feel like I'm being punished all the time, IV had a pretty crap Life, my babies gave me a will to live, I'm not suicidal anymore I feel hopeless, sunk, can't stop crying, scared I'm dying and nobody listens to a word I say,I don't know who I am anymore, all I no is that if people in authority don't stop lying and bullying me I can't hold of the rage much longer,I can't bare the thought of never seeing my children again

  • Dr' s do not know every illness and with general practitioner it's more wide spread their knowledge think of them like Sherlock Holmes or any other sloth on telly. They listen to you and take snippet like pain they treat that and the next thing until they say finally we will send you to hospital to Rheumatologist yureeka!! They are right bang on the desk at your surgery asked to be referred we have the power. Unfortunately most of us have been on that long journey with many tears at the Drs. Take care of yourself your children will be happy to see Mum smile.

  • have you had osteoporosis & lupus checks and bone density scan you must insist on Dr to do thorough investigation please for yourself children sake

  • Hi Sara10kids,

    Stay positive! If you are unhappy with your current doctor’s opinion, it may be ideal to get a second opinion. If you are able to get a second opinion, perhaps jot down the symptoms you are experiencing so you can discuss this with the GP as this may give a clearer indication of a condition you may or may not have. We have an article with lots of advice for medical appointments at:

    Joint/muscular aches and pains and extreme fatigue are common symptom of lupus. If you would like information on lupus, the symptoms, diagnosis and how you can be tested for this condition you can download or request a free information pack here:

    Wishing you the best of luck, let us know how you get on.

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