Omg i stress so much. working full time is tough

I can't make a decision to save my life ! I work full time and am a single mum doing school run somehow every day too. I'm tired all the time. I also stress a lot with my job, it's not easy. I can ask for flex working and go to 4 days per week but I just can't do it. I keep thinking one more year... pay off bit more of the mortgage... one more year, one more year. oh my goodness, then I have a flare and think what am I doing! has anyone battled to cling on to normality for a little longer? I feel like I will have failed a bit if i go part time .... does that make sense?? xx hugs xx

4 Replies

  • Hi Singlemumloopy

    You need to think of yourself and health. Going part time is not failing, instead you'd be helping yourself have a hopefully flare free time. Stress is a Lupies biggest enemy!.


  • Hi singlemumloopy, oh how I sympathise with you. Although there are similarities I must be a lot older than you. I took flexi retirement about 5 years ago in order to reduce my working hours. It made quite a difference. Last year my hours were cut by 9 hrs a week. I had no say in this but I do benefit health wise. Financially it has been a struggle but it's not impossible to live on less you kind of get used to it over time.I am due to retire next year and struggling now. Think what I want to say is there is more than one way to skin a cat. Think outside the box. Go to citizens advice re finances there might be benefits you can claim. We only have one life. Don't live to work, work to live. I know you have family and must consider them but you have more strength ect to be enjoying them and visa visa if you are well and not stressed. Good luck my friend

  • Hello. Sorry to hear that you are struggling so much with your work and being a single mum and that your health is suffering. I increased my hours at work last September, to 4 days a week, (I work as a Teaching Assistant in a Junior school) not realising that I had Lupus at the time. My health deteriorated dramatically during that term and by Christmas I was on my knees. I fought to keep everything going, but was in bed by 7pm and my husband was putting our 3 children to bed virtually every night, as I was in bed and asleep before them. I kept this up until February, when I had lost my Dad (after a short battle with cancer) and then I got shingles. I had to have a week off work and then said I needed to reduce my hours. I went down to a 3 day week. This September I have reduced again to a 2.5 day week. I know that I am lucky as I have a husband, who helps out a lot at home and he has a good job. I have realised that as much as I would like to work more, the reality is that if I push myself, I end up ill and can't look after anyone. If I can do a 2.5 day week and then get rest on my days off and pace myself, then I hopefully won't be taking days off sick all the time and will have more energy for my family too. I know that if I had tried to keep up my 4 day week it would have ended who knows where. It is very hard accepting this illness and the fact that you cannot carry on as you did before, but that is the bottom line. Your health and your family must come first. I wish you well and hope that you find a solution that works for you soon. Best wishes. Wendy

  • Singlemumloopy, you have to think of yourself and trying to work full time isn't for everyone. I have no children am 35 and had to cut down to a four day week last April 2013. Once I started on hydroxy I assumed after 3-6 months the fatigue would go and I would be back full time. A year and a half on, although I am still fatigued with the stress of work (I work in an architects practice under pressure) working 4 days makes things easier- a little more time to manage all the daily one is/has to be running around like a superwoman. If you are able to plan the reduced pay into your work/life balance you will feel better for it. You have not failed if you go part time, there's no point working yourself so hard that you haven't got the time and energy to spend with the kids! Your health is always most important- and work don't always appreciate/ thank you for all the hours you put in! x

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