Will i ever find love now that i have lupus?

Im in a real unhappy place today. My ex moved in with his new girlfriend. Im suffering from this lupus. Is this it then? Will any guy i meet run a mile when i say i have this condition??

[jayfer]

Lupus should not stop you finding love. I started a relationship while being diagnosed so it was as if in a constant flare. Must admit I used lupus to end that relationship, and if I'm honest now use it to NOT find love. ( am 57 tho) Just be positive, if the guy is a decent sort he won't run. Good luck xx

[EllaMay]

Dont be silly. When u find the 'right' guy he will be more understanding. ive been with my parner 4 years and been diagnosed for 5. hes put up with countless times of me being tired having mood swings hospital trips etc.. id say good riddance to your ex. theres a saying that goes 'if they cant handle you at your worst then they dont deserve you at your best'

[kittykat68]

here here ellamay totally agree , and single mum im the same , life was suppose to start at 40 like fook did it, i havent been in a relationship for 5 years but i have been on dates , and its weird because ive changed sooo much obviously meds and lupus and the rest of the problems that we have to suffer,so my taste in men has changed to , like the kind of man i used to go for no longer interests me and i think because im ill if i cant handle it will a partner , but you know wot dont let lupus win hun, ive got a date friday with a really nice man (on paper lol) hope ive helped x

[Hidden]

Hi singlemumloopy, you will find a partner in time, but you are still dealing with your diagnosis. You will learn to pace yourself and know what is best for you. Having to work does make it hard for you to take it easy. Until you understand your own health and what's going on, you can't hope to share with anyone else. Your son will probably be your link to a new relationship, but for now, just concentrate on you two. I know I sound like some sort of agony aunt, and I don't mean to. It's just that I have followed some of your previous posts, and feel you are still learning to understand your illness. Is there a lupus group in your area that meet in the evenings? I think you should be looking for that sort of relationship at the moment, and just remember, your ex is someone else's pain in the butt now!!!!!!

[Pipido36]

Lupus is life changing but that does not mean you can not love again. In my situation, I was married but had to let my husband go coz he kept telling me that I was too ill for him to bear. I am 50 by the way. I have since found a very understanding man. One who cares and wants to know everything about my illness. I was hesitant at first to get into a relationship, so for 5 years I was on my own. Don't think every man will run a mile. You will find your Mr Right and in no time you will be happy again. Be honest with him from onset to avoid being hurt. Take care and keep on keeping on. There is hope!!!!

[Hidden]

Thank you all - and I wish you all the very best also. It all feels difficult right now.

6161 you may be right actually I am going to call the local support group - I've been hesitant/almost frightened to, but I'll do it tomorrow - thank you xx

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Good for you!!! If they are only half as friendly as the posters on this site, you will be alright. Take care x

[sharonleane]

Hi single mummy lupus ..yes there is more to an end of a relationship. I have epilepsy and fibro and lupus and my husband who I was with for 23yrs left me as I was fat lazy and thick he said. He didn't however leave the home and tried to bully me away and after 23yrs of abuse..Police finally charged him and had him removed with condition of his bail that he never came near our home..which is now soley my home.

I have had great fun.joined a dating agency and dated a detective from met..A doctor..British airways pilot and now a policeman. They were all told on first time I spoke with them that I was registered disabled and it didn't bother them. Keep your chin up smile and get our there and have fun. X xx good luck hun. Add me if you are on Facebook hun [e-mail] (Sharon leane)

[AndrewTheCarer]

Hi, I found a lady who had been literally abandoned by her husband and he made sure that the rest of the family thought it was her fault. She was all alone and it made me so mad at men who are so self important and selfish, I had to prove not all men are like this. I have now looked after and become her trusted friend and carer for now about 7 or 8 years and will be her best friend and devoted carer 24/7/365 until one of us passes away. I am the lucky one to have found her and seen her through all the terrible times she has had through no fault of her own and feel I have been so blessed to be able to do some real good in my life even at my advancing years for someone so inspirational.Someone once said marry your best friend. As you get older passion is replaced by caring, friendship, and love and devotion. Of course its there for everyone, you never know when it will happen?Out there there is someone for everyone! Never give up on life until its over, every day is a blessing,live life to the full, every day, especially in older years! LOL

[lemoncheese]

They sound poop!

I'm sure it's different when you're a serious grown up and not only 20 like me-

but I was with my boyfriend of four years when I got diagnosed- (we'd been together 2 years at this point- i was 16) and it was nearly fizzling out but it dragged on for another 2 because of my illness because i felt worthless and like I couldn't do better. We ended things when I went to uni and dammmnnn did I do better.

If someone loves you they will love all of you - even if you tell them you're poorly and tired- and even in my case if i tell them heck i might have miscarriages and problematic children, here's your get out now clause still want to stick around? My boyfriend certainly did!

You are a special and important and strong individual and Lupus is not who you are. It is merely one element of you someone who loves you will need to accept.

And if they don't? Well you're better off <3 <3