Update on work

[zebedee01]

Well guys I decided I just couldn't do it, I didn't start my new job

I don't know whether I did the right thing or not, I do feel really sad I know that.

I was just too tired, I am not coping with this tiredness at the moment.

We are desperate for the money though aswell which doesn't help anything! I was thinking of applying for ESA just to help me get by. I'm scared though, I know they will probably say no and I don't even feel like I have the energy to apply! I have looked on the website and there is a phone number to ring but the thought of picking up the phone makes me want to burs into tears

[mstr]

Hi Zebedee....I feel for you and I was you two years ago. Firstly I know you are sad just now but in all honesty I think you have done the right thing for you at the moment. This does not mean it will be forever (just until you are on the right treatment and you understand the condition. If you apply for ESA of DLA (now called PIP) please ask Paul or Hayley (admin on this site for the leaflets that will give you information for when you apply. This gives you good guidelines on what will help you to do your application more effectively. If you have a partner that works it may be that you are not entitled to ESA.....however if you have enough national insurance contributions in your own right then you may be entitled to this for a year. Honestly I know it's a pain and the last thing you feel like doing just now and the fatigue is overwhelming but do it stage by stage. First a telephone call and give info. then fill the forms, then if need me chase it up. Use as much info as you can from Lupus UK leaflets. You may have to attend a medical as this seems to be the way now but mine was fine...I explained at the time about my joints, weakness, overwhelming fatigue, not on the right meds yet, unable to work though always had etc etc. So its best just to take it a step at a time. After that you may be entitled to six months Job seekers allowance especially if you have just come off ESA and they have stated you are unfit to work. This is what I used. There is also the old DLA (now called PIP) to apply for. This is Personal Independence Plan and if you have had the condition for more than so many months (think 6) then you can apply. Again Paul or Hayley on here can forward you the details on how to complete this.

In the meantime....have you got a rheumatologist you can ask for an appointment for. You may need a different med and this can really make a difference. Sending you a big hug and understand completely what a blow it is at first. Hang on in there and look forward to hearing how you get on. xx

[zebedee01 in reply to mstr]

oh thank you so much xx I do have a rheumatologist yes, saw him 2 weeks ago when I was admitted to hospital, and due to see him again in a couple of weeks xx

I am already claiming dla, I have been on it a few years now because I have suffered with awful depression, anxiety and agoraphobia, I get it because I can't go out shopping on my own etc. I know I'm a mess, just when I think things are getting a bit better I am hit with something else I only get £21 a week though which is nothing, but I am grateful for it.

theres no way I can work at the moment, even though my head tells me I want to. I feel so poorly today

[misty14]

Hi Zebedee01

I'm so sorry your too unwell to have started that job. Lupus is a cruel illness! I just want to add a tiny bit to Mstr's really good advice. If you decide to apply for ESA ask your local Citizen's Advice Bureau to help you fill in the form. They know how to answer the questions to get a better result. You don't always have a medical assessment, I didn't when I applied and got it.

I hope that helps and you feel a little better soon. Take Care x

[zebedee01 in reply to misty14]

Good idea, thank you xx

[fishers63]

Just want to say, you are not a mess. You found the strength to apply for a job and presumably had an interview in which you impressed enough to be offered it. Take the positive from that, you will be able to do it again one day.

[zebedee01 in reply to fishers63]

Thank you, you are right, I just feel a mess lol x

[mstr in reply to fishers63]

That's a really good point about strengths.....and one that we all too often can forget. Thanks for making us think like this. x

[misty14]

Hi again Zebedee

I've had this thought too about the CAB, they will also do a benefits check to see what other help you could be entitled to. It must be hard to make ends meet!

Also I volunteer one day a week,do enjoy it but find it hard sometimes because of my health but could be something you could think about when you feel better. It's been good for my self worth as I can't work. Best of Luck . Hugs X

[zebedee01 in reply to misty14]

Thanks hun x

[MrsMouseSJ]

Hi zebedee01

I have seen both this and your earlier post and would like to offer a few words of encouragement. I think you must be a very strong person to decide not to start the new job (and probably a very level-headed one, too) and I hope you will use this strength of character to pursue ESA. Others have signposted you to LupusUK and the CAB. I have also found the information sheets produced by Action for M.E. (I was originally diagnosed with M.E.) to be extremely helpful in providing 'top tips' on how to approach/make a successful a claim (whether one has M.E. or something else); these are available on Action for M.E.'s website: actionforme.org.uk/get-info...

My initial phone consultation with DWP took nearly an hour - so make sure you are prepared beforehand (reading relevant leaflets/taking CAB advice) and make the call when you are feeling up to it. When they ask, do remember to let DWP know how you are at your worst and how frequently this is, giving examples of how you are restricted, plus how your condition fluctuates and may be unpredicatable. My best wishes to you.

[zebedee01 in reply to MrsMouseSJ]

Thanks hun xx

one thing I meant to ask, it says on the website that you need a medical certificate to apply for ESA? is this the case even if you have not been working? x

[MrsMouseSJ]

I think so as I believe this is the way, initially (until you get called for an ATOS medical examination - the so-called 'work capability assessments'), that the DWP ensures that you are bona fide. But your GP can issue a 'fit note' (old English: sick note!) even if you don't have a job. Certainly this is my case - I had to take voluntary redundancy because of my health - and my GP has simply continued to issue me with notes every 12 weeks (but can be longer I think for DWP purposes). I can no longer claim contribution based ESA after mid March, won't then be eligible for income-related ESA, but will still submit 'fit notes' as that way I will continue to be credited with National Insurance contributions (and I may still have to attend assessments with ATOS). Hope it works out well for you and, remember, deep breaths before and after dealing with the DWP can be very helpful!

[zebedee01]

I just don't understand why it is so difficult, I mean what do you do then? if you are too sick to work and you can no longer claim?

[Elle-26]

Hi Zebedee01, Oh how I know our lives are turned upside down and inside out. We are so willing to strive on, yet our bodies are no way like our thoughts. I've still not excepted what is going on with my health a year on. I can never go back to my Career, it's made me feel useless. I strove for many years and hours studying English Literature to go into Teaching ... after having my son I decided to go back as a TA and refresh my qualifications.. I was so happy and had so much to look forward to ... yet come last September the job started to drain me more and more, I was unable to go on outings or walk far, so I had to make a decision. Since October last year i've not worked, I've been searching for a job I could do but I know my fatigue and pain would scupper it all. I was signed off by the GP as "Unfit to Work" a few weeks ago. The process of trying to find work is hard enough let alone suffering with long term illnesses, I just kept soldiering on but it was so demeaning and I felt depressed for the first time in my life as no job exists that revolves around the fatigue. Im still trying to face and except what is happening ... but its the hardest thing in the world when you've been a striver all your life. Im glad at the moment Im not facing work or finding work, it has given me time to adjust and get my head around this new life I will have to live. I also think my body needed the rest and my brain needed the peace .. Lupus has taken away my feminine appearance (loss of hair/eyebrows/eyelashes) , also my love of Summer (Photosensitive) then the Fibromyalgia has caused me pain along with Arthritis, Spondylosis, Nerve compression, Sicca Syndrome and now I face another Consultant in Neurology next month as Im still under investigation .. The fatigue is extreme, you're not alone, and thats not with the other symptoms to have to deal with, you're not alone hun, Gp's are so busy and stressed that it feels like they rush you, but always tell them how you're feeling .... Im not dealing with it all, I just put a brave face on it all ... I cant keep doing this so Ive decided to go and speak to a councillor ... You can do self referral, my GP gave me the number ... I just need to vent my anger and heart ache over everything Ive lost in the last year ... Ive held it all in and to heal I need to start letting it all go .... Thoughts and prayers are with you Zebedee01 ... Xxx

[zebedee01 in reply to Elle-26]

aww sorry to hear about al your problems hun, must be terrible! This alone is bad enough!

I'm guilty of not telling doctors everything, I'm one of these people that doesn't like to 'moan' (for want of a better word). I suffer in silence, they only ever see me when I feel so ill that I need help.