Started new job eeeek!

[natal1a]

Hi all

I'm just posting this to see if anyone has any tips. I started a new job yday after three months off having been made redundant. I actually left my last job on an exit package rather than official redundancy, so I got a bit more money than normal redundancy which meant I could afford to take time off. Having had health problems last year I wanted to take time off to think about what to do next.

Anyway, at my last job, all my colleagues knew id been ill, we could work flexi time etc so sometimes I could leave at 3.30pm and this really helped me. However, I started my new job yday, and it's 9 to 5.30 most days, and I'm already finding the work quite heavy going. They don't know I have lupus, to be honest they've just thrown me straight into work and I hate telling people about it anyway.

I just for some reason felt really emotional yday... I was quite looking forward to my first day, but by the end I just felt exhausted! I feel pathetic saying that as it's just a normal 9 to 5.30 job. But I already feel shattered! I'm not sleeping right (hence this early morning message) and last night when I got in I just about had the energy to have a bath and make dinner (I didn't even clear up after dinner) and at 9pm I crawled into bed. I don't really know why I'm feeling sad... Maybe I just feel like all my time will be focussed on work and for a job that's not even interesting! (I know, that's life).

Also, it's my birthday on Monday. I've arranged a meal in Birmingham (an hour from where I live) this Saturday. But I really don't want to go. And it upsets me because I don't know why I don't want to. Being this tired all the time takes the enjoyment out of things but I don't want to say that to people as I feel like a drama queen. I actually just feel like staying in by myself but is this a sign I could be heading into some kind of depression. I know it's not normal to feel like this? Or is it?

If anyone has any tips on whether what I'm feeling is normal or what I should do id be very grateful!

In the meantime I'll try and go back to sleep

[joannebond360]

Hi. Congratulations on your new job. I think you are really brave and amazing for working full time. I can just about do what I need to do at home with the family and I am exhausted! The tiredness,pain and emotions that comes with lupus are overwhelming! I feel exactly the same as you with regards to going out! Hate making arrangements, always want to make an excuse not to go and just don't feel myself. We had a school mums dinner last Friday and I very nearly pulled out, just wanted to curl up in bed but I am so glad that I went, felt normal again for a bit and got chatting about lupus and a couple of people new all about it! Knew people that had it and one of the mums is on the same meds as me for a form of arthritis! Felt I wasn't alone I also hate making arrangements as I hate breaking them, it's like I'm always waiting for the next flare and expecting to be unwell, feel like I can't look forward to anything! But sometimes I surprise myself on what I can do!

Just find that I can do the things I want to really but just have to reserve some energy and rest before hand and after. Sometimes it's just the thought of having to go somewhere but once your there it's ok and you manage to get the energy from somewhere. Besides it's your birthday and you can't stay home! happy birthday!

Jo xx

[Paul_Howard Partner LUPUS UK]

Hi. Congratulations on your new job.

I know that it is difficult to speak to your employer about your lupus, but it’s best to seek help at an early stage. Many people put off getting help about work until there is a crisis or they are forced to take more sick leave. Once people go on extended sick leave, they are more likely to lose their job within a few years. Making changes to how you do your job sooner rather than later may keep you in work for longer. It may well also be cheaper as your employer can put changes in place before the problem becomes more costly.

The best place to start is to speak to either human resources (if your workplace has a dept) or your manager and see about getting an occupational health assessment.

It may also be worth speaking with your consultant and getting their opinion on whether your lupus is currently well controlled. This information may help you with any decisions you might have to make.

[yasmine]

Hiya,

I definitely understand how you feel I have a fulltime job and sometimes I'm so tired I want to just sit there and cry.

But I try and be as positive as I can I also think its extremely important that you speak to your employer.

You have nothing to be ashamed off and if you need to work from home or go home early they will understand.

it is important to spend time with your friend they love you and I can guarantee they will make you feel better.

also it may be worth while speaking to your consultant again and let them know how you are feeling i know at one point i was lacking iron and when i started on a supplement it made a huge difference in my energy levels.

I hope you feel better soon happy birthday and lots of lupie love xx

[natal1a]

Awww thank you. You guys are ao sweet. I've not long got home from my second day and I've survived. And although I still have NO IDEA what I'm doing in my new job I'm feeling a lot more positive and am trying to have an 'Its not the end of the world' attitude. Yesterday I sobbed on my drive home. Today I was still as confused but I've actually been laughing about it

I have moved house since my last hospital appointment... I was going to stay with my consultant in Birmingham but I'm half tempted to switch to one nearer to my home... Just to get another opinion really.

My back is absolutely killing today but I think the main thing I find hard to deal with is fatigue because it's sooo hard to explain isn't it?

You have all made me feel SO MUCH better though, it's just good to know I'm not totally losing the plot. Going to have a cup of tea, some chocolate and snuggle up this evening I think.

Does anyone else also find it awkward when people say 'what are you doing this evening?' And does anyone else actually not do much with their evenings apart from rest haha? I know I fall into that category but I always feel like I should be leading a really active / exciting life!

[Slowmo]

Hey there, don't be so tough on yourself, if you're not doing anything in the evening it's fine to say I'm having a quiet one, or I like the tele, or a hot soak and an early night. Not everyone does things after work , even those who are well.

And well done to you for taking on this new job, I'm guessing that you don't fancy making plans for the weekend due to tiredness and stress levels. Staring a new job is next on the stress list after divorce and moving house, it's a really emotional thing to do and all that new learning is difficult for anyone, especially if you get brainfog. Be kind to yourself, give yourself a pat on the back for being in work, come home have a bath, and take it easy, by the weekend you may well fancy a meal out.

Most of all take care and listen to Paul who gives good advice.

Slowmo

[willowwag]

Hi nat, i can really feel for you i work full time and has lupus and lupus serotis every day kills me, i push through every day just to be able to get through it, i also stand on my feet for up to 81/2 hours each day...its a killer and im not much use after work. My husband drives me home and i normally spend the half hour trip home vomiting in the car. Yet ive never taken a day off sick..one thing i would say is tell your manager as soon as possible, not sure what you do for work but i work in retail and we are always given a health questionare on any health conditions we have, i dont know if you completed one of these, but if you did and didnt put lupus your manager may bring this up, be open and honest with them, as they may be able to help you, if your finding it hard on day 1 if your enything like me by day five of working and coping with lupus i just want to crawl onto the sofa and not move, i tell myself no keep going and plod on, i dont get sick pay so for me getting up and going to work keeps the roof over my head, i also got made redundant two years ago and that emotional stress just adds to things, best of luck with your new job. P.s you did not say if your taking any mes for your condition.