im feeling very low still. my lupus wont ease up on me no matter what I try. im constantly worried about money and have asked CAB and my local council for advice and applying for some help with paying our rent and council tax but we were turned down as my husbands wage is ment to be plenty to live on! we are very carefull of where the money goes and bills and rent are always paid but my husband and I are eating less and less as thiers no money for food. the children get fed of course. what happens if the cars breaks,the washing machine? weve had no heating the last 3 winters as cant afford electricity. I don't have family to ask and my friends deserted me when I became poorly. I can only work part time as lupus has totally changed my life from being a work-a-holic to a pathetic 5 hours a week.
every day is full of pain; my joints grind and hurt, migraines and neasea, blurred vision, brain fog, tripping over nothing, lead legs, rotting teeth (cant afford to go), feeling breathless,fatigued and thin hair just a few things I can think of writing this.(theres more symtoms but got brain fog)
I have asked and asked my GP and my rhuemmy for help but I get told they have worse patients than me and offer me anti-depressants. yes I am depressed but living with this wolf tires me and wears me down especially when its hard to explain to my own family, they get tired of hearing that ive no energy,i cant walk that far, I need to rest......if THEY don't understand WHO will?
I went to work today and the sweat was pouring from my head like a tap,running down my body, I felt gros,this summer has been the worst ever and I don't want this hiddious symptom to continue,ive enough of everything else to cope with. im at the end of my tether,i long to have a day when im "normal" and can be me not this broken shadow, I do try to be positive and put on a brave face. my husband has been diagnosed with oesto-arthritus (soz cant spell) of his lower back due to heavy manual work all his adult life so im doing my best to help him,my son is starting his final years at senior school so he is unaware of things as he shouldn't be burdened at his age.
I did ask for DLA years ago but was seen by a doctor at the nearest DWP centre and was told no as I can dress and feed myself and I can stand for longer than 3 minutes and not to waste their time.we havnt had a holiday for 14 years as money has always been tight as my husband and I are low earners. I did look into college when I was pre-lupus but couldn't afford the fees, I do try to help myself to become a better wage earner.
sorry to moan but I cant take another day like today....lupus is a sh%t to live with x