In between times

[uzi41]

Hi folks, most of the time I have a heavy, foggy head and can sit at my kitchen table firhours just staring, not sure anymore if it's due to the lupus or the meds. Then there are other times like yesterday when I was extremely hyper, don't know where that energy came from, did have a quick nap too, totally stuffed my face and absolutely exhausted myself. Anyway its either one end of the scale or other for me now, but never the in between. I miss the in between times, I was such an organised, perfectionist person with exceptional timekeeping. I hope you get what I'm on about.....feel like I have become a failure, find myself apologising for everything I do. ...I miss the in between times.......xxxxx

[steadilymovingforward]

Aw uzi41, you're not a failure but I do get you totally. Do you worry about what people will say on your hyper days?..."you looked alright the other day, you wer're buzzing around for hours"....and that's their empathy gone for the days you need it then lol!

I USED to be a perfectionist, perfection is impossible so I am glad Lupus has stopped me trying to be perfect...I think it's actually the one blessing Lupus gives...be less hard on yourself and accept the blessing if you can

Big hugs xxx

[uzi41]

Yes you are right this condition has made me question why everything in my life has to be perfect. So now that I'm unable to do very much, things around the house don't get done, they don't get done. ....I've just got to remember that. .thank you for your support. ..lots of hugs. .xxxxx Uzi..xxxx

[cynamonspice]

I completely understand I am either one way or the other, much more often the other (very tired) lol. I miss who I used to be and miss not being able to "do" everything! :o( My mind wants me to, but my body doesn't, it's like a prison :o( My home used to be spotless and I felt good about it, I was much calmer because of it too, now it's always dusty and untidy. I haven't been able to clean it properly for god nows how long. I too feel like I am failing, I want to do it all I really do, but this stupid body is broken and pretty much useless.

It's hard enough to maintain any kind of life, so I think you just have to forgive yourself :o) You're not alone here and you're not a failure, like all of us it was certainly not our choice for us to have this or live like this.

Take care Uzi :o)

[uzi41]

Hi thanx for that lovely comment, I think I am probably the first person to give advice like that to anybody else but not very good in taking it myself. .....my house is pretty much a dusty mess all of the time and I can sit and think about all I have to do all day but not get up and do it.....but hey ho I didn't choose to have this. Thanks again feel better to know that there are others that understand me..take care...xxxx Uzi..xxx