Mammogram Call

[janeths466]

Hello All,

Hope you are having an amazing New Year!

So scanxiety is really a thing, and wow it really sucks. My mom had her PET scan on December after her lobectomy on July, and everything was clear when it comes to her lungs and body. However, she got a mammogram recently too, which was not clear due to breast tissue being too dense. She has been having a tissue like nerve sticking out for a while now, which is why she went in the first place. She was referred to an ultrasound and such for deeper investigation last week, and after we got a letter that said her tissue was dense once again. Now, we got a call today that the doctor wants to see my mom tomorrow to give her the results of her mammogram at 8am. I am so scared, and she is too. I am hoping that everything will be okay, but these past months have been so hard health wise. Like what are we to do if something happens. She has dialysis, had a lobectomy for a lung tumor, and this would be just too much. On top of that my sister is dealing with a lot.

I feel like I cannot handle things anymore. I hate seeing my mom sad and getting all of these anxieties everyday. I constantly worry, and I do not like living this way. I am afraid for tomorrow because doctors have called us and told us results, but this one wants us to go early. I am shaking, and I cannot live my life normally. Most importantly I wish I could protect my mom, and my heart breaks because I want her to be happy. She 43 and I feel like there is so much on her plate. In fact, I know many of you deal with this daily, which I admire so much. I want to be able to be strong, but right now I feel weak and vulnerable.

[Jenniferroseolson]

You can’t be what your mom needs if you don’t care for yourself. Do you have a counselor or therapist? Larger institutions often have onco-psychologists who Specialize in helping caregivers and patients. This stress takes an enormous toll on you, and that is totally understandable. I get it. You are not alone in feeling like cancer is just TOO MUCH sometimes. For now, find some

Movies or a show to binge watch and try to take your mind off of it. Don’t even try to sleep....just allow yourself to fall asleep on the sofa hopefully. Whatever you find out, the doctor will like he have recommendations for next steps. Hang in there. It’s okay if you don’t feel like “it’s all okay” right now. One day at a time, dear.

[janeths466 in reply to Jenniferroseolson]

Thank you so much for your kind words. Honestly reading this made me calm down, and I have been able to go back to my regular activities. My mom and I have been spending time together and it has helped us cope with everything until we get more results. ❤️ Thanks!

[JanetteR57]

Sorry to read about your mum and understand your stress and anxiety. I went through similar when my dad had bowel cancer when I was in my 20s and we didn't think he'd get to 60 - he had two radical resections and was in hospital the second time for 11 weeks. He'll be 90 next month and is my mum's carer (she has Alzheimer's) and had another bowel cancer and radical surgery 3 years ago. As already suggested, the important thing is that you get some support for yourself as the upset will be further strain for your mum - Macmillan line offers support for relatives/carers so may be one avenue but once you know what you're dealing with, there will be others. I also had a lobectomy in Dec 2010 (9 years yesterday since my diagnosis) and my first mammogram was recalled (before the lung cancer incident but within the same year) and sometimes wonder whether it was the same side they recalled me for but it was explained to me that sometimes the scanner in the mobile unit aren't as accurate so I was rescanned in the hospital. As you say, stress and anxiety are very weakening and hard to prevent but distraction from the subject (not the person) can help deal with it. hope you and she get some answers soon. thinking of you.

[janeths466 in reply to JanetteR57]

Wow your dad is a fighter!! He truly is strong❤️ Thank you for your encouraging words. The journey continues with testing, but we are learning how to manage. Thanks❤️

[JanetteR57 in reply to janeths466]

Thanks - he is amazing. Physically weak but mentally sharp (the opposite of mum who's 87). Learning some coping techniques will set you all up for what can be a long and roller coaster journey amongst all the tests, waits, treatments and follow up. thinking of you.