Work anxiety

Hello!

I am a hairdresser and I haven't worked since March 21. It used to be the greatest passion of mine since I was 12. I've been doing it for 14 years now and it has beaten me down physically and emotionally. I'm constantly in pain but also what is worse is the anxiety it gives me. I have generalized anxiety disorder, so pretty much anything in public makes me sick. I'm supposed to start working again on the 20th, and I feel so much dread. I've done some favors here and there for people and the mornings that I wake up those days where I'm going to do someone's hair makes me physically ill. Today I’m doing a couple hair cuts for people and I could not sleep all night, and I woke up feeling so nauseous and dizzy with a headache. This time has made me question so much about my life and I feel like I really don’t want to do hairdressing anymore, but I have no idea what else I would ever do. I really wish I didn’t have to work anymore because I’m so sick of feeling the stress and anxiety every single day over it but I have to pay my bills. Has this ever happened to anyone ? Have you done a career change after almost 15 years? I’m so torn with my life right now.

[Aard]

I can understand your feelings for sure. I have had GAD for decades. Usually this doesn’t represent OCD-like symptoms or agoraphobia but sometimes will or full- blown panic attacks.. Mostly for me it’s all fear, although to tell the truth I have nothing much that’s real to worry about lately in, being retired and being past some of the things you’ve described. But I’ve had them.Career change was nerve wracking for meSometimes with me I wake up in big fear, nightmarish fear and literally I have nothing for the fear to land on - it’s just true, free-floating anxiety and often doesn’t let up during the day. Lately I really been practicing identifying and differentiating between what may be a real threat (at my age, 70+, Covid-19 is a real issue for instance and we do take reasonable precautions - masks, gloves and minimum necessary food shopping trips and no outings) and an implied threat (it’s going to grab us anyway, we will both soon be hospitalized, incubated and die horrible deaths alone - remotely possible but highly unlikely where we live). If my fear can’t land on a real threat I’ll go for relationship issues, shame for past perceived sins, or future unlikely problems or “just” a simple fear of dying’ etc. i don't get to panic-attack level as much as I did - meditation, talk therapy, meds, exercises and good diet all help but do NOT eliminate everything - or, really, anything. My program, such as it is, provides some structure and these days life is very much worth living, although certainly not “perfect”.

- of course. Please continue to work on your personal situation and try and keep or discard discard things that do/don’t work for you. Anxiety is real but by itself it does NOT represent reality. What you fear - the appointments for example - may have turned out reasonably OK for instance. You can definitely feel better although from the sound of it it may take both some work and some time. I’m praying for your full recovery.

[Hidden in reply to Aard]

Thank you so much!

I feel terrible for what you are going through with this whole covid thing. My dad is around your age and I worry about him constantly.

I feel the same about how you said you have nothing much to worry about, yet you have fear. That's what I'm constantly trying to figure out. I really don't have anything to REALLY worry about because I know that no matter what my family has my back. I'm not scared of my clients or being at work.. that's why I don't ever understand the feeling beforehand. It's been like this for YEARS! Then when I'm done, I go home realizing I had a good day... And then the same thing happens all over again...

I still have a long way to go and so much to learn about fixing my anxious life..but I'm trying to work on it. I've had some pretty Big stressful thingS happening in the last year and So far I've made it through.

[Courtm4511]

I was also a hairdresser. I worked in a salon for 7 years. I loved doing hair but the environment was so difficult for me to work in. The constant scrutiny of my work by people I didn’t know, the need for perfection, and the general drama that tends to blossom in a salon made it really hard for me to get up and go everyday. Eventually I found a career that I felt fit what I wanted out of my work day. I’m a medical lab tech now. Although there is stress- it feels good. I have as much and as little contact with people as I want. There are days I sit in my department and just do my work and isolate myself and other days I float around talking with the other techs and going to see patients and helping to draw blood.

There is a certain kind of freedom to do a job that allows you to control your social intake. As a hairdresser you always have to be “on”. That’s what I struggled the most with. By not being able to show my mood and push myself to seem happy on the outside it affected my life outside of the salon and it consumed me the second I stepped away from my chair.

My suggestion is find what is making you unhappy. If you’re able to fix it and continue to do hair then work on fixing it. If you can’t- find a career that can work around YOU and your happiness. There are millions of jobs and careers. It may take time but there is always at least one you will be happy to get out of bed for. Strive to find it.

[Hidden in reply to Courtm4511]

Omg thank you!!

Everything you said is exactly how I feel! The Salon environments I have been in were so terrible! The fighting, drama and other people putting their nose in my business! It was so toxic that it was eating me inside so I found my own studio and I now work alone. All of those problems are gone, but now it's just the clients that destroy my soul. So many people are so rude and entitled.. I have clients asking me to do their hair like they are more special than the rest! It's like they don't care that we are in the middle of a pandemic!!

I wish I could just get rid of the clients I don't like but that will never happen! ( Unless I purposely mess to their hair lol)

I also noticed that So many people who have given up hairdressing are now in the medical field. I feel like that's something that I can't do... It's always been interesting to me, but I'm not good at school. I always struggled because I have a hard time remembering things and I think I have ADHD. I also have no idea what I would do or where I would even start to figure out what else to do. I've always been interested in real estate as well but I don't want to just sell houses... I have no idea. Thank you for your response. You are the perfect person to talk to!