Need advice/support on navigating through life after abusive relationship!!

[Beccag89]

Hi, everyone! I am just reaching out to ask for some advice/support. To give you a short summary, I was in a relationship that was mentally, emotionally and at times physically abusive. I was able to get out of this relationship about 3 years ago but I still feel the effects of it. I didn't even tell anyone I was abused until about a year ago. I carry around a lot of anger, hurt and anxiety with me. Recently, I have noticed that when there are certain things or situations that remind me of things from the relationship, that I start to panic. I've noticed that it's so hard for me to fully trust anyone. Not just males but everyone. I start doubting myself, people's motives, doubting their sincerity. Even if this person has done nothing to make me feel this way. I hate it. I feel like I can't form strong friendships with those I care about because I push them away or I shut down. So, you could say that dating is a total bust because I just don't want to or if I try, I cut ties quickly. I freeze up and can't be vulnerable. I really don't know how to manage these out of control worries or the anxiety. I feel like I'm going to push everyone away. I know that forgiveness is definitely a step that will help but it's something I'm still working on. I'm a christian and so prayer and church are part of my life, along with a counselor but I just need some support from anyone who may understand what I'm going through. I don't know how to navigate these waters. Any advice is welcomed. Thank you in advance.

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Hello

I read your post and so sorry for what you have been through

I would say everything you are feeling is quite normal after been where you have been but I would have hoped the therapy was helping and yet you are obviously still suffering

I have no words of wisdom and hope someone will but what I would say is somehow you have got to believe that this was one person , one sick person and not everyone is like they were and slowly start to let people back in , it will not be easy and what you feel accept is normal but over time you can do this

He destroyed you and you did the right thing and got rid but by holding on he is still controlling you , take back that control he took enough from you , don't allow him that power to continue to spoil what could be a great life with lot's of kind decent people been a part of it

Take Care x

[Bacaloca]

Reading your post made me so sad, it reminded me so much of my past. I too was in a relationship almost identical to yours. I finally left after 5 years of misery. I trusted nobody, not even my own family. Then I discovered I was pregnant. I was so scared that I would not be able to look after a baby that I almost didn't go through with it. However it was the best thing I did,I had this tiny bundle that needed me 24/7. I am not saying go out and get pregnant, but you will find something or somebody in your life that needs you so badly that you will realise that life is not so bad, that miracles do happen and life is worth living.

God bless you Beccag89 (((((hugs)))))