Overwhelmed

This had been one of the worst years of my life. I lost my home due to it being demolished so someone else could build and make tons of money. This is where you learn who you're real friends are. NO ONE. I'm literally homeless so I bought a crappy old house that needs a ton of work and can't even move in yet until they finish replacing electric. I've been on my own since 21 and NEVER depended on anyone or asked anyone for anything. Now I'm just asking my parents for the tiny favor of just letting me stay with them for one month. Every single day they treat me like I'm a burden and this is all my fault and I'm not doing anything fast enough. Friends know what I'm going through, but not ONE single person cares to ask how I am or if I need anything. I'm all alone. My anxiety has been through the roof and I cry almost daily when I think about how I have zero support... But everyone is always taking from me. I feel so sick all the time but still have to work full time. Today has been such a bad day. Anxiety and dizziness that won't go away and brain fog like you wouldn't believe. It's sad when the only things I can count on to be there for me are my cat and dog. Everyone is so selfish and self absorbed. Hard lesson I just learned this year. No one cares about me at all except animals.

[Hidden]

Hello

I read your post and understand how you are feeling when the chips are down there is no one there yet you are there for others when they are in need

One thing I have learnt is to start and care for myself

The house may feel crappy and need things doing but it is still your Home , some where that belongs you and you should be proud been so independent and eventually you will get it how you want

As for your parents , I would just let them know you are doing all you can , that you are grateful for them letting you stay and remember they are going to have an opinion but you also have a choice if you are going to take it on board and let them hurt you with their words or think O well whatever , I know I am doing my best and that is all that matters

Have you tried asking your friends for support or help ?

As I sense you are independent I wonder if your friends see that and do not realise you need support from them , maybe if you haven't let them know , they could surprise you and if not then you are no worse of and you will know who your real friends are

Now you have found these Communities I hope it helps to know you are not alone and have somewhere you can come and talk with others that understand and know how you are feeling

Take Care x

[hypercat54 in reply to Hidden]

Great response and very supportive x

[Hidden in reply to hypercat54]

Thank You x

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Thank you so much. I had such a bad day yesterday. My life is like an emotional rollercoaster and I can't take it anymore. I guess I didn't really mean to say the house was crappy. It's just really old because it was all I could afford and it needs a lot of updating. I can't live there until the electric is done. After that, I'll slowly fix it up while I live there.

Like you mentioned also- I'm constantly giving to people. I let people stay at my old house when they had no where to live. I've given friends money and food when they've had nothing to eat. I'm constantly giving because it makes me happy to help people.. but all those people I've given to are MIA when I'm going thru a hard time. I'm not surprised.. this is how people usually are.

I'm doing my best to stay sane and I cab def say I'm so happy I found this group because no one else understands what I'm going thru the way some people on here do. Thank you so much for youre response.

It's just so taxing on me when I feel sick with anxiety every single day. makes me feel like I'm losing my mind and I have no comfort anywhere.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Hello

Please be reassured you are not loosing your mind but life just feels at the moment it is weighing you down as such a big change has happened

I have been through some really difficult time and if I had a pound for every time I have cried and said I can't do this , this is all to much I would be a millionaire ! but some how some way I have got through these bad times , they have not been easy and when I look back I have thought how did I do that ? but I did and you will to

OK electrics have to be done but then see the house as a blank page and one that you will colour in , see it as an adventure and imagine the pride you will feel when you have completed it , you will be there thinking I never thought I could achieve this but I have

It hurts I know when you are the kind of person that would give their last penny to someone and then when you need a shoulder to cry on or a hug there is no one in sight , but again this just does not happen to you and what it does say is you are a thoughtful kind soul where the rest well they are just heartless

Over the years I have toughened up , I still help people and I still can forget myself and go that extra mile and then be sat feeling hurt but I am getting better , but when it is your nature it is hard when someone cries for help to be there for them but you have to slowly start putting your self first

It is ok to cry , in fact letting all your emotions out can be a good thing , I have some fears and I had a cry tonight and I am glad I let it all out it helped , it has not solved my fears but it has stopped that feeling if I hold them in one more minute I will explode !

Not sure if maybe you could see a Doctor or are already on medication but through this time this could be something that may help , it does not have to be forever and it is not a sign of weakness but most of us have times in life we need some help , so maybe speak with your Doctor

Just try and take each day as it comes , know you only have to deal with a day at a time , and if you think whatever is happening is just for today instead of looking at this big picture that feels full of fear that can help to

Keep talking , get it all out , you will work through this x

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

I actually am on medication. I sometimes regret getting off though. My anxiety started a little over 10 years ago. I started on Prozac and after a while, it went away. I stayed on medication for about 7 years and then I decided I wanted to try being off of them. I weaned off and felt like a normal human for about 3 years, and then the anxiety came back with a vengeance. I got back on meds but have spent the last 3 years trying to figure out what works for me. So far nothing has helped much and I have physical anxiety every single day and it ruins my life. I'm dizzy daily and the only thing that helps me is lorazepam a couple times a day. I am also on pristiq daily. I look back and I can't believe it's been 3 years since I showed up at the doctor's office begging for help... I thought I'd be better by now but the nightmare never ends. All of these life changes are also not helping. I just want it to be over and I just want to feel better for once.

Thank you so much for your replies.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Hello

Sometimes we are on meds for years and then have a break and do fine and then life starts throwing things at us and we do end up at what feels like square one and need help again , but that is ok and accepting that it is ok is half what feels like a battle won !

Maybe think about going back and letting them no the combination is not working as good as it should , sometimes it can take a few changes till we find what will

I am to having a really tough time of it with lots of changes in the pipe line which before they even happen are freaking me out , but I suffer with anxiety so I tell myself it is ok , I am going to feel this way but I will get through it and I will and so will you to

Trying to stay in the day and not look to far ahead really does help , it is like when we feel we are getting carried away we have to pull ourselves back into the moment

If you have a bad day , the next day draw a line under it as I say and start again , try and maybe keep a journal and focus on writing all the positive things down no matter how small because sometimes we can only see the negatives and we miss these little positives we do and achieve which we should feel proud of

One positive for you is you are talking with others that know how you feel and opening up which can be hard to do x

[SuZQ154]

So sorry you are feeling so low. I understand your sadness and fear of the unknown. Getting out of the "pit" is hard when we feel like there is little hope.

There is HOPE! One day at time, one moment at a time. Taking baby steps toward getting our lives on track is sometime the best. What do you think would be your first "baby step" forward? What is your heart saying?

Sometimes, I just cry out to God and say, "Help me, please." It often helps

[1947treble]

That's a lot to be going through. Im sorry that things are so difficult right now. I'm glad you took the time and effort to post, especially since the people in your life are letting you down. I'd like to offer my support as I'm sure others on here are too. If you pray or journal, those always help me during bad times. Feel free to PM me if you need to express yourself or want encouragement. I hope that me and others on here can be as supportive and helpful as possible. Try to stay positive, which must be hard right now.

[91342]

Feeling better now that you got it off your chest? You have a home a job parents that in spite of burden took you in and pets to welcome you at the end of the day. Think twice

[BeeBee50]

Omg I've just read your situation and I can only say I actually know how you are feeling on every aspect and I'm honestly not exaggerating.... I thought I was reading about me!! I'm sitting here by myself, seen no one for a week except my cpn today and the tv for company!! Friends?? No one wants to know, and one asked me in a text if I'm still alive WHAT!!! My only son hasn't spoke to me since May 2018, to a 'better' family....re-homed my dog/best friend in December 2017 because of nightmare neighbours so my heart truly goes out to you. But if I can help others I will, which I think good natured people do in general,and there are some good people still around I hope xx