I just signed up today. I am hoping, like everyone else, to find someone that can relate to what I am going through so I don't feel so alone. I was diagnosed in 2016 with generalized anxiety. Ever since then my husband thinks every feeling I have is anxiety. If I get angry at something he does, he automatically says I need to "talk to someone" because my anxiety is "acting up". I use Cognitive therapy to manage my anxiety and do pretty well. I exercise, yoga, and deep breathe daily. I just wish I had the support from my husband and not made to feel like I'm crazy all the time. He gives me anxiety!
I have been to counseling and was discharged successfully. I send my husband readings on anxiety, I have talked to him countless times, and I just can't seem to get him to not see this ANXIETY stamp on my forehead.
Does anyone have this same problem with their partner? What else can I do?
Hello Missyrod22 & Welcome
No need to feel alone any more , I think anything you post someone will relate and I can relate to what you are saying so much not just with the husband using your anxiety which may I say my opinion is that it makes it easier for them to blame your anxiety rather than looking at what they may be doing in the first place to make you angry and I have also come across this when I have been to the Doctors and I know I am generally not well and they say it is anxiety and I could scream because yes my anxiety might make things worse but it is not the cause of how I feel all the time !
What you do to get through t your husband I am not sure
I know when I get from mine when he is winding me up , O it's your anxiety I just say well if it is you are making me anxious because you have done ( whatever ) and I don't back down , I also point out that I am not stupid and I do not appreciate him using anxiety as a excuse for him upsetting me !
He does tend to listen more but he has had 25 years of experience living with someone that is anxious and we have had many times of disagreeing but he has started to realise it is not a good excuse to use my anxiety when he is upsetting me , so really the only advise I have is to stick to your guns as frustrating as it is at times until he realises that despite anxiety we do have normal feelings as well !
I am pleased you had Counselling and from what you say it was successful ?
How are things now , are you coping a lot better ? I do hope so
If you need to chat you will always have someone to listen to you that understands and I hope you will find that helps even if we don't always have all the answers
Take Care x
Thank you for replying. I feel better knowing someone can relate. I was starting to question my sanity and I hate that. I know I'm not crazy. My husband and I have only been together 6 years so maybe I do need more time. It can become so frustrating trying to stick to my guns. That's all I seem to do. I get that it may just take some more time.
My last round of counseling was a good fit. The therapist taught me how to reframe my thoughts and things to do to relax. Every day is still a battle, especially with my running thoughts. I just keep using the skills. I am so much better than I was years ago with managing but I'm the only one who notices. That makes me feel alone at times but I'm proud of myself too.
I signed up for this to get support which is more important than having all the answers. ☺️
Hello
You are not going crazy but I know others can make us feel that way but you do have normal emotions to they are not all based on anxiety and as frustrating as it is you have to keep reminding him and then take yourself away from the situation and use some of those techniques you ave been taught
I think for me I look at therapy as they do give us the tools to work with and they do teach us how to use them but it takes time and practice which you are doing and slowly it will become easier and more second nature than what it may feel like now
I am glad you are are not looking for all the answers because if I had them I would stop everyone having to suffer as we do but you will certainly be understood as I always say anxiety is something that cannot be seen like a broken limb but only felt by those that suffer and all of us have either suffered or are still suffering so we know exactly what each of us feels where someone that has not been where we have does not have a clue and maybe try and bear that in mind when you are feeling angry with him , he won't have a clue how you feel so it is not always as personal as we feel it is
If you need a chat you know where we are
x
It's so frustrating this anxiety isn't it I've got osteoarthritis and I get asked ALL the time how am I how my pain is but not one person however lovely they are says Hows your anxiety today It's amazing really as it's 2018 and when you think what subjects are talked about openly why isn't anxiety
Have you seen DARE by Barry McDonagh ? It's the most brilliant book ever and has really helped me a lot I got it on Amazon
Remember though you are not alone anymore you have found us xx😊
I have to also say that my husband doesn't check in on my anxiety either. Unless you include asking me if I'm ok 20 times a day. That's annoying. It would be nice to be asked sincerely how is my anxiety today. I will just have to check in with this group. So I hope your anxiety is on the low side today.
Thank you for the book suggestion. I found it on Amazon and bought it. There is a work book that goes with it. Have you tried that too? I'm considering buying it. I am always open to new ways to reduce my anxiety.