Anxiety is ruining my life: I am on... - Living with Anxiety

Living with Anxiety
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Anxiety is ruining my life

Pumpkin14
Pumpkin14

I am on 3 different meds that I take every single morning. I had the genesight test done, which works with your DNA to determine which meds work best for you. I've been on the meds for probably a year now. I thought I felt better at first, but then my body betrayed me again and every day of my life is a struggle. I've been dealing with this since 18 and I'm 32 now and I hate my life. I feel like it's definitely worse now that I'm older. Every day I wake up feeling dizzy with chills and pain all over my body. I take my meds and it eventually evens me out... For the most part. I still feel pretty crappy though with all the pain. I just want to cry all the time because thinking about my future with this getting worse, is just so depressing. I started going to the gym and I'm going to start taking yoga to see if that helps.

Is this really anxiety, it is there something worse going on inside of me? The constant muscle pain is just unbearable sometimes. I stand all day at my job and I had to cut down to work 4 days a week because the pain and dizziness got so bad. I fear one day I'll have to quit my career. I don't know what else to do. I wish I didn't have to work but I will never allow myself to be like that. I've always tried to do my best, but I feel like I just can't anymore.

13 Replies
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Hello :-)

I have suffered with anxiety for way to many years now , had better times and also had worse times and at the moment the last year I am feeling like you that I feel I cannot go on feeling like this anymore , it is draining , but what it does when you feel so bad is starts to make you feel physically ill

Anxiety is a powerful thing which lot's underestimate how it cannot only affect the mind but how it can affect you physically

If your job is standing all day I am not surprised that you have aches and pains

When we have anxiety especially when we are going through a difficult time we question everything as it can be hard to believe that something like this can make us feel so ill and that then creates more anxiety

I know you have been tested which medication suites you to work with your DNA which is something new to me , I have not come across this before but do you feel it is still working ? could it be a thought to maybe look at what you are taking and possibly try something else ?

All we can ever do is the best we can and you are doing that so don't pull yourself down if it feels it is not enough as you can't ask more of yourself , accept your best is good enough , it may not be as perfect as you would like it to be but that does not matter what matters is that you take each day and at the end of it remind yourself with all you have to cope with how well you have done :-)

You are not alone , so many of us feeling the same way and always someone to talk to on here that understands :-)

Take Care x

Pumpkin14
Pumpkin14
in reply to lulu-1

Thank you so much this response, it was very nice.

You are right about feeling physically ill. I get nauseated feelings in my stomach and I feel pukey . The way I feel scares me a because it keeps changing over the years. The things I used to experience when it first started are completely different to how I feel now. Everything makes me so nervous because I don't know if it's all part of the anxiety or something worse.

The reason I took that test was because I tried multiple different medications for a few months at a time, and let's just say, I was VERY sick and miserable for a lonnnnnng time.. so this test felt like hope to me. The med I'm on works way better than any others, but I don't think it's works so great either. I just feel sick and anxiety all the time. I feel like the only thing that stops is is lorazepam.

I'm really trying because life right now is just UGHHH

Thank you ☺️

lulu-1
lulu-1
in reply to Pumpkin14

I do honestly know how you feel , I have Health anxiety and last year the worse thing that could happen to someone like me did I got double pneumonia and ended up in resuscitation , I have not been able to move on since and every little thing ow I feel I go into instant panic which is all day every day to be honest !

So you are not alone , maybe look at those meds and the one that does not suite asking about stopping it a while to see if it helps ? therapy maybe ?

Take each day as it comes and know you are not alone , always can come on here and chat we may not have all the answers but we know how it feels :-) x

Starrlight
Starrlight
in reply to lulu-1

It amazes me that you are so good at helping others while you yourself are having panic and health anxiety all day every day. When I’m having a hard time like today I mostly focus on my pain and invite more pain without wanting to. I wish this pain will not go in vain. I feel like I’m wasting parts of my life because I can’t get through the fear back to happy. I suffer to be good for my kids. I’m so tired and everything takes so much effort.

Pumpkin I’m so sorry you are in pain; seems a lot is going on and I pray you will get the relief you need. I can so relate. There must be better days to come, right? It’s hard to believe but let’s look for moments, no matter how tiny, of beauty, peace, joy,... and try to recall it can get better...some take those moments for granted. Not us. Blessings to you. ❤️

lulu-1
lulu-1
in reply to Starrlight

O thank you :-)

Just of to Doctors and in a state

I think I reply as I know the pain people are in because I am in it to , but we are all different in how we react when we are like we are

You will no doubt have been out and getting on with your day where I sit as if I am froze to the spot and do very little :-(

Let's live with hope that soon this will get better for all of us :-)

O and I like been called pumpkin :-D x

Starrlight
Starrlight
in reply to lulu-1

Oh I was writing to both you and pumpkin on the reply to you sorry for confusion 😆 it made me smile though.

There are some days too where I feel ok and I could give the best advice to someone. The other days I'm crippled in a corner🙁

So it's really nice talking to everyone experiencing the same thing and helping each other!

❤️ I hear you. I’m having a in the corner day... suicidal ideation even, so tiring!

It sounds like you are taking some good steps to take care of yourself, such as taking tests to see which medications would work best for you, cutting back on your work week, and exercising. Here are some additional self care resources that may be helpful:list.ly/list/2EUz-the-selfl...

Also, have you considered speaking with your medication prescriber about how you have been feeling? Does dosage need modification or do they have any additional suggestions for you.

Some days with anxiety are better than others. Hoping that today is a better day for you.

Hi! Thanks for the response.

I feel so defeated! After such a long time, almost 2 years or falling into a downward spiral, I decided I hated the way I felt constantly. My emotional and physical well being was a mess... So I FINALLY decided about a month and half ago to slowly make changes. Eating better, going to the gym, etc... Right when I got into the groove, this whole virus thing happened and now I am stuck in my house again. My back started hurting again, my body is stiff and my anxiety is back... Ugh.

I love my psychiatrist. She is only meant to prescribe my meds but she goes above and beyond and acts like a therapist. She always asks me how I'm doing and sits and listens to me talk for a while. Our appts are only 15 min but sometimes she sits and listens to me for 30-40 min. She's so awesome. The meds I'm on are at the max dose. I'm too scared to change because I did so many trials and I was so sick for such a long time ( while working directly with customers the whole time! Nightmare!!). I took the genesight test, which tests your DNA against meds that work best for you and about 3 came back that worked for me. This one is okay, but without lorazepam I would surely be a mess still.

I'll check out what you sent me. Thank you.

But, as of now, I guess the struggle continues....

How are you doing this week? I am so glad that we are still able to go outside to get exercise (I live in a state that is under shelter in place). Are there any exercises that you can do or places that you can go to get exercise to help you to take care of your body during this time?

So glad that you have a good and supportive psychiatrist. :)

Hi!

I had a busy week. Things have been kind of stressful. I had to move in the middle of all this and rent trucks and be out in the public and it stressed me out so bad. I also have no job currently now because I’m a hairdresser... I’m usually really busy and I have to reschedule about 100 clients now and that bothers me so much. I definitely don’t want to be working right now, but I’m self employed, making absolutely no money now and I own my own studio. Things are like a snowball of terrible right now but I’m trying to stay positive.

I also stopped going to the gym, haven’t been very active at all, and now I’m kinda back to where I was earlier. I’m gaining weight, my body hurts all over and I’m feeling unmotivated again. My anxiety is at bay but I think that’s because I’m not working. When I have to work, I constantly worry if I’m going to feel sick, and Then it makes me feel sick....

How are you doing?

Sorry that this week has been so difficult for you. My aunt is a beautician and primarily cuts hair for a living as well.

I am thankful that I live out in the country and can get some exercise out in the yard. On dreary days, I have done workouts at home. Have you found any workout videos that you like?

Like many, I am looking forward to when this virus stuff subsides.

For now, I have a few projests and my kids to occupy my time. I am so thankful that God is in control of all of this.

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