Hello

[DJB74]

Hello, my name is David and I live in the midwestern part of the United States, I'm 44 and a sufferer of Generalized Anxiety Disorder. I feel disconnected, hopeless and helpless most of the time. I'm looking for a community of like minded sufferers that I can open up to for advice and be the same resource for others as well.

[Hidden]

Hello David & Welcome

You certainly have found somewhere that you can come and talk , people will relate and no one will judge as either we have suffered with anxiety or are suffering and I hope that will reassure you that you are not alone

Look forward to getting to know more

Take Care x

[DJB74 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you very much. I just feel like even though the calendar changes each day. Everyday feels the same, empty and full of despair. Due to my increasing anxiety I've had to change jobs, take much less money just to be able to function. I feel like things are out of my control and I'm a failure.

[Hidden in reply to DJB74]

Hello David

First let me say you are no failure far from it !

Anxiety is debilitating yet we beat ourselves up over it yet if we had any other illness we would not we would do what we needed to do to help ourselves get better so why do we not do the same with anxiety ? because anxiety takes our self worth it makes us believe we are useless that way it can keep a hold of us

I know we all need money to live on but is your new job bringing in enough to keep the roof over your head and food in your tummies that is all that matters and your health has to come first without that you would have nothing

Have you tried anything so far to help with your anxiety , spoken to your Doctor , had any therapy , do your family know how you are suffering and hopefully as supportive as can be

Sorry for all the questions which you don't have to answer just trying to work out what could maybe be the best way for you to go , but one thing is no matter how you feel things will get better , it can be a slow process but you will get there x

[DJB74 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you so much. I dont mind the questions at all. Yes, so far we are ok, but haven't received first check from new employer but I took about a 3.00 an hour pay cut. My wife works but we have five children at home and about to put one in college. I do currently see a psychiatrist who diagnosed me with general anxiety disorder with panic attacks and is treating me with clonidine as needed for attacks n paxil for depression/anxiety. It's only been close to a month but I can't tell a lot of change. I feel like things are a lot worse than that. I have no drive no focus and sometimes dont even want to move forward. Due to a lot of past issues with depression and lashing out there are several wedges between me and my older son who frequently says he hates me, I've ruined him etc. My wife supports me and loves me but often can't understand this beast that's on my shoulders and why I can't be happy with her and the kids and that's it's not anything I can control. Shes coming around a little more after research, and me seeking medical attention. I seen a therapist a couple of times but due to me not being insured I can only afford care on a sliding scale and didnt feel like this was quality counseling.

[Hidden in reply to DJB74]

Hello

I can see you are in the USA and I know your system works totally different as I am in the UK and we have the NHS and as much as we knock it at times I think we are very lucky even though there can be long waiting lists sometimes we do eventually get the help we need but it is good that you are seeing a psychiatrist at the moment

The medications you are taking , as all anxiety meds they can make you feel worse before you feel better and this can take at least up to 3 months before you start to see an improvement so hang on in there with them and don't feel they are not working or won't work give them a good chance

I am sorry one of your Son's seems to be struggling with your condition , he is young and sometimes they lash out and say things they don't mean because they don't know how to deal with it or could be he feels angry as he does not want his Dad to be the way he is but one thing for certain you have not ruined his life and you cannot take on board the feeling of guilt feeling that you have like I said before if you had any other illness you would not feel guilty there is no difference with this it is an illness but one people that have never suffered cannot see and only those that have suffered know how debilitating it can be , you need to give yourself time , don't look to far into the future try and stay in the day otherwise you will cause more anxiety and depression as the pressure will be to much and we only ever have a day at a time

I am pleased that your wife is coming round and is becoming more supportive and that is a positive and something to be thankful for as many will not even try and open their minds to how this affects people

Do you have any support groups in your area where like minded people get together ?

If you put in Google on line counselling I know it will throw some up , if there is a cost and how much I don't know but maybe you could have a look ?

It maybe a small bonus but now you have found these Communities you will always have someone to talk to that understands we may not always have all the answers but we know how to listen x

[DJB74 in reply to Hidden]

No there are no local support groups in my area. Maybe I should start one. May look into that. But I sure do appreciate you reaching out offering your compassion advice and support. I certainly feel more encouraged.

[Hidden in reply to DJB74]

Hello David

What a fantastic idea if you could do that , I bet you would be amazed at how many would join and that would help you as well as others to

If you need to talk just come on , someone is always about x

[gogogirl in reply to DJB74]

Have you contacted NAMI? Also, perhaps just being with a group or contacting a warmline can help alleviate your anxiety a bit. Sorry about your son's lashing out- I am sure that does not help

[DJB74 in reply to gogogirl]

What is NAMI?

[gogogirl in reply to DJB74]

In the USA it is the National Alliance on Mental Illness.

[Jane1989]

Hi David..

I’m new to all this but I think you will find even talking on this will be a big help..it has made a difference to me and everyone is very nice and trying to help each other..

As much as you feel hopeless and helpless hopefully by opening up here will help even just a small bit..

It’s nice to chat to people are experiencing similar problems and going through the same thing as often family and friends don’t understand when they haven’t gone through it themselves it is hard to grasp how a person just can’t shake it off..

I have only recently developed anxiety after a difficult birth with many complications so I never would of understood anxiety or depression but after experiencing it myself I can totally understand the suffering people go through.

Hopefully coming on here to chat to others in similar situations will be of some help to u.

[Hidden]

Hi there ~I also suffer with GAD ~ some days better than others in coping with it all.It can be difficult for people who don't suffer as we do to understand what we go through at times. I worry at the drop of a hat tbh.

Be kind to yourself ~ you didn't ask to be like this. 🙂

[DJB74]

Thank you so much. It's so good to receive encouragement, kindness and advice

[Hidden in reply to DJB74]

You are more than welcome 🙂

[gogogirl]

Would you like to state what is causing this? How about thinking of yourself as a survivor rather than a sufferer?