Anxiety about loved ones wellbeing

[Sah27]

Hi,

I am new to this group, looking for any useful advice on how to stop worrying about the wellbeing of loved ones? Not sure if anyone else here has had the same problem?

Both myself and close family members have suffered with serious health issues over the last few years.

I have some trauma from being ill and seeing family members very unwell so now every time a loved one is in hospital or gets infections, I get really concerned for their welfare.

I end up thinking they could have cancer or could die,or get a severe complication from an infection and I end up incredibly anxious.

I get very upset when I see them so scared and low, I get very concerned for their wellbeing and it brings back traumatic memories.

I have tried to stop dwelling on it when I realise I am worrying, but I only realise once I am breathless and I have a fast heart rate.

I find it incredibly difficult to relax physically once I am in a state.

At the moment the only way I can calm myself down is by taking medication when I get worked up.

I just finished a course of CBT but wondering if anyone has any solutions to instantly switch off/ stop worrying about others and physically instantly be able to calm down without taking medication?

I am already doing mindfulness and evaluating my thoughts, but it is a slow process that takes a long time to calm me as it doesn't resolve my breathlessness and agitation quickly.

Any tips/advice would be much appreciated, thanks 😀

[Hidden]

Hello Sah27

I can totally understand why your anxiety would make you fear like it is doing going through so much with your health as well as close family members and the way your thinking is now reacting is I would say quite normal as what you have been through for so many I would say is quite traumatic

I am pleased you have been getting support and I hope it helped , what we get from mindfulness and therapy is never a quick fix but hopefully what they teach us we can start using until the negative pattern our thinking has adapted can become more positive again in time which it will

You say you take medication when anxious , I wonder if maybe going on something long term until you are feeling a lot better might help ?

I think as I have said there is never a quick fix ( if only there were ) but slowly we have to turn those negative thoughts around , sometimes even accepting we are powerless over some things like health but the positive is we have lot's of excellent Doctors who will always do there upmost and usually do if someone is ill and will get them better again

This is a quite Community but I hope others will have some good advise and share it with you

We are here if you need to talk so you are not alone

Take Care x

[Cat33]

I was going to suggest mindfulness but I then read you already do it Have you done a course ? I'm on my second course and I find being with others and swapping notes is a great help I do find it really fantastic to keep me thinking in the moment and not worrying

I'm so sorry you have been through so much I'm not surprised you feel the way you do

I've always found any books by Dr Claire Weekes very comforting too

Wishing you all the best and sending hugs 😊

[Serendipity16]

I have very similar anxieties for similar reasons. It's not easy. I've tried CBT but not managed to complete the course, what I did helped me a little. At counselling now. I get anxious about being away and not able to get back etc,