Are these thoughts normal? Is this anxiety?

Please don't judge me, I really don't need it. I had a baby a few days ago and I was so happy after the birth. It's the hours that followed that have now changed happiness into worry and guilt. I had to stay in hospital and I am breastfeeding so had only a few hours sleep in those few days as he wanted to feed constantly. All was fine until one night where I fell asleep for about an hour an a half. ( still in hospital) Before I fell asleep I managed to settle baby. Anyway I suddenly woke up quick to him screaming. I pulled him out of his cot quick to feed him. Then that's when I got all these overwhelming intrusive thoughts that someone has come and hurt him or shook him during the night whilst I was sleeping. There was only one other lady and a baby on the ward at this point. Midwives were all at their station and the doors to our ward was closed. I thought what if this lady was annoyed that my baby was crying to much making too much noise and she hurt him or she just did it for some other reason. It might sound stupid to some but I can't get it out of my head and it's affecting me. I don't know where it's come from! Then the next day my 'cubical curtain' was open and she looked in at me so this just re-enforced these thoughts. Is this some sort of depression or could this have really happened? Would I know if someone had hurt him. I can't function with these thoughts in my head. I look at him with guilt thinking he's been harmed and it's my fault for not keeping awake.

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  • Hello :-)

    Congratulations on the birth of your beautiful baby boy !

    It very much sounds like most Mums after giving birth you may have a little anxiety , you are worn out and combine the two we can get these intrusive thoughts it is quiet normal

    I would not think that anyone has harmed your baby it will be the anxiety telling you that but if you keep getting these thoughts have a word with the nurses they will jot think you are mad but will support you as we can also get post natal depression which again can make you have intrusive thoughts but do not panic as usually this will pass within a few weeks if not sooner :-)

    I would imagine when you can go home with your baby Son you may feel more relaxed and things will settle down :-)

    Come back though and chat with us if you need a listening ear and keep us updated how you are doing and how your baby is :-)

    Take Care x

  • These are common early maternal anxieties that are taking over: Fear of harm to your baby, guilt, over-responsibility, self-blame combined with a hormones, lack of sleep, tiredness, fatigue and the reality that it's a tough, rapid learning curve - can almost leave you feeling desperate and paranoid.

    Venting using forums, speaking to your partner, family and friends, other parents, medical staff etc. can help to reset your anxiety. Cope in the best way that you can. Sleep when baby sleeps! Delegate to others to help you; don't expect to do it all yourself.

    It will settle down, but you need to give it time. You also need some time to yourself to adjust to the stress.

    If you haven't started to use breathing exercises to ease your anxiety and physical tension, now would be a good time to learn how to meditate when baby is sleeping: clinicalhypnotherapy-cardif...

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