Hi folks not been on here for a few months, Ive been feeling like I can manage my anxiety up until now I stupidly took a 2mg of diazapam on sat night because I felt so fed up of myself I wanted to see how they would react so that I could maybe use a tablet everytime I had to socialise. I had been to my sisters 25th birthday meal on Sat night it was so bloody awful being there seriously my body language and shifty eyes im just a freak when it comes to sociallising I cant speak much at all I just tense up and most of the time look miserable as f**k and well everyone else starts feeling uncomfortable because of me!! Ive had enough of feeling that way so Ive avoided parties family meals etc for years now I do not know how to have fun. Im miserable I do my 8 till 2 domestic job which feels like a struggle to keep! then I jist stay home. me and my boyfriend dont do much together he understands my ways, negitive thoughts, completely anti social I avoid talking to everyone it scares me the thought of shame or embarresment I do not know what my problem is or how it started. Im making everyone in my life so low and it hurts so bad. I cannot EVER RELAX EVER!!!! EVEN to sit and watch a movie at home or even at the cinema. Im on EDGE 24.7 I CANT DO ANYTHING TO STOP this from happening. I day dream zone out for ages when my anxiety is very bad to the point people ask if im ok because when im zoned out I feel like im not even there im somewhere else. I am so fed up of this uncontrolable illness . Dont know what to do im still taking 50mg of steraline today I feel really bad again I think its all because of that diazapam ?? Anyone else feel no hope of getting better
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