Anxiety

[SammieXo]

Hi folks not been on here for a few months, Ive been feeling like I can manage my anxiety up until now I stupidly took a 2mg of diazapam on sat night because I felt so fed up of myself I wanted to see how they would react so that I could maybe use a tablet everytime I had to socialise. I had been to my sisters 25th birthday meal on Sat night it was so bloody awful being there seriously my body language and shifty eyes im just a freak when it comes to sociallising I cant speak much at all I just tense up and most of the time look miserable as f**k and well everyone else starts feeling uncomfortable because of me!! Ive had enough of feeling that way so Ive avoided parties family meals etc for years now I do not know how to have fun. Im miserable I do my 8 till 2 domestic job which feels like a struggle to keep! then I jist stay home. me and my boyfriend dont do much together he understands my ways, negitive thoughts, completely anti social I avoid talking to everyone it scares me the thought of shame or embarresment I do not know what my problem is or how it started. Im making everyone in my life so low and it hurts so bad. I cannot EVER RELAX EVER!!!! EVEN to sit and watch a movie at home or even at the cinema. Im on EDGE 24.7 I CANT DO ANYTHING TO STOP this from happening. I day dream zone out for ages when my anxiety is very bad to the point people ask if im ok because when im zoned out I feel like im not even there im somewhere else. I am so fed up of this uncontrolable illness . Dont know what to do im still taking 50mg of steraline today I feel really bad again I think its all because of that diazapam ?? Anyone else feel no hope of getting better

[Stilltrying_]

Ah that sounds really difficult for you really just not knowing which way to turn or how to relax. The diazepam should have helped you relax a bit but don't get to rely on them too much; anyway it sounds like it didn't work for you and now you're not feeling good.

I don't have any words of wisdom except have you tried CBT or counselling and stuff like that? Really it is sad for a young person to be feeling this bad. I hope you can get some help. Gemma X