For the past two nights, I've been struggling with sleep a lot. Now I am a true lover of sleep, I'm pretty much tired all the time, no matter how much sleep I get. I should probably speak to a doctor about it but I'm a bit afraid of tackling things like this. It usually means a blood test, which is something I will actively avoid if I can.
I’ve always had this thing with my sleep, sometimes I will wake up and I will either feel totally awake, as in I can control my body, toss and turn etc, or I will be awake but a little sleepy, and I will begin to have really odd thoughts. For example, last night I woke up and I was thinking about how I want to get the best deal for my boyfriend that makes us the most rich out of everyone. But I was thinking away as if this was completely real. Another time was that I was thinking about how I need to go out and pick up a wardrobe. Thing is, I’ll properly think these things through as if I’m talking to myself but it’s all in my head. Sometimes I’ll have a realisation that I’m not making sense and this isn’t real, and in my head I’ll tell myself it’s not real, yet a few minutes later I’ll find myself thinking away about it.
It’s really hard to explain, I imagine the way to describe it in a general sense to others is perhaps hallucinogenic thoughts, or delirious thoughts perhaps? This usually happens at least once a week, maybe more sometimes. Another strange way that it happened once, was that as I was drifting to sleep once, there was a voice in my head as if someone were speaking aloud, and they were narrating what was happening to me saying something along the lines of “and then she closed her eyes and began to drift slowly to sleep”, what is even stranger/creepier was that it was in the voice of Alex DeLarge from A Clockwork Orange. Some people may find this scary but I actually love the film, so if anything I just found it interesting. Nothing like that has happened since, however these strange wakings up and thinking away about things that don’t exist happens very regularly.
I’ve tried to google this to help get an idea or see if anyone suffers with the same symptoms, however I’m yet to really find anything. I did find one definition today which perhaps sound like this could be it; it’s called "Hypnopompic hallucinations” described as “the unusual sensory phenomena experienced just before or during awakening. Their better known mirror image, hypnagogic hallucinations are vivid and frightening episodes of seeing or hearing or feeling phantom sensations while falling asleep.” This sounds kind of the same, however I do not find it frightening, I mainly just find it confusing. Sometimes I battle with myself to stop thinking these thoughts. It has been linked to sleep paralysis, however this is not the case as I will toss and turn and move about freely.
Has anyone suffered anything familiar to this or have any suggestions? I usually ignore it but because I’m having trouble sleeping this past week then it aggravated me last night as I couldn’t get my thoughts to shut up as I needed to sleep.
Incase anyone was wondering, I have no known diagnosed sleep disorders/mental health problems. I do suffer with some anxiety, however it is not severe enough to cause this I imagine.
I don't know how to add hashtags on here so I'm just going to add some; hallucinations, sleep, sleep problems, thoughts, mental health
I scare myself, and I can't stop it.
Weather and anxiety x