Today started off not so good. Starting with having the urge to bm and for some reason it seems like my body gives off symptoms before the urge to bm comes. So I go use the bathroom. And also for some reason after I have a bm, esecially one when my anxiety is high, it takes a while for my stomach to settle. Its like I feel ill or upset stomach after having a bm for almost or up to an hour before I feel ok. So that started for me early as I got up and ever since that I was not feeling well. Just felt like fatigue and upset stomach so I didnt even want to go to work feeling like this. Ended up having another bm before even leaving home.
So as my mind kept telling me I have all sorts of illness I started feeling all kind of wierd things, like aches, vision seem a little blurry, felt like I wouldn't be able to walk or I was gonna fall down. So then my mind automatically started relating how I was feeling to assuming my blood pressure could drop again(thinking about my bad incident that night again).
So as each minute passed I just felt more and more like I wasnt gonna make it through the day so I (yet again) went to an urgent care to get blood work. A cbc and and cmc. I just felt like I needed to know again if my blood work will show if something is wrong. So now Im sort of anxious (subconsciously for sure) as I have to wait almost 5 days for my blood work to come back and so I had them check my blood pressure while I was there and it read 108/64. For me that seemed as if that was borderline low. So after I left there I started obsessing thinking about my blood pressure dropping again or what would make my blood pressure get low. I couldn't get that thought out of my head so I then drove around trying to find the nearest cvs just to see if I can get my blood pressure checked again. And so when I got to a Walgreens I got my bp checked and it first read high which was 144/82 and so she told me to wait about five minutes and she checked it again and it went down a little to 134/82. I know for sure my heart was beating fast while I was there which could have aided in while it was high when I got there. But my day is just so many scary thoughts about my blood pressure being low. For some reason im not as scared if it was to be high and I guess thats because I keep thinking about my bad episode that night and thinking if my blood pressure drops too low I will faint again. My mind is all over the place. And I even manage to diagnose myself with all sorts of things. Smh
Needless to say, I did manage to work (which I deliver foods) but everything was on my mind, I kept feeling moments of aches while in the car, scared to get out and walk thinking Im gonna fall over, feeling unbalanced, tingling sensations in the legs, sharp pains in the chest area like gas build up, just different symptoms. Im just surprised i even made it through work. I dont know what tonight will bring and Im now even dreading tomorrow.
Is this all anxiety playing tricks on me?😭
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Icanbeathis2016
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I totally understand how you feel. I know that when all this anxiety is going through your head, logic doesn't really help a lot of the time, but i'll tell you what i know from my experiences with this kind of stuff. I think the worst episode I've had started off with a bit of nausea. i felt lightheaded, and i put my fingers on my neck. i couldn't feel my pulse, and i FREAKED OUT. i scrambled to my parents as fast as i could and just kept begging my mom to tell me i had a pulse. i was certain i was having a heart attack and was about to die and i was terrified. my heart was racing but i couldn't feel it. my stomach felt like someone had rolled it into a ball and was tying knots in it. my parents finally got me calmed down, and i was feeling better. then i stood up and i couldn't see. i had my eyes open but everything was black. it lasted for less than a minute, but i actually didn't freak out too much, because after thinking i was about to die, potentially being blind didn't seem as bad.
Anyhow, despite all that awfulness and panic and terrifying symptoms, i was completely fine. I've had many (less extreme) episodes of thinking i was dying or this or that was happening to me. but every time there has been nothing wrong.
so i guess all i can really do is try to offer you some encouragement: you'll get through this and you'll be ok. (wow that sounded corny)
Lol..im not laughing at your situation by far, but I was tickled when you said how you FREAKED out and started scrambling to get tp your moms. I thought that was funny because i can surelu relate to moments when my intrusive thoughts just got all the best of me and in an instant. Lol.
Like one time I was contemplating on drinking a bottle of Desani water I had left in my car for a few days or so. And any other time before this anxiety came along, I wouldn't think no differently that the water should still be ok to drink considering that the cap was still on it tight so basically water should still be ok to drink but I had batteled in my mind rather to drink it and my mind had begun to play tricks on me saying what if its poisonous or its something wrong with it since in been in your car, but crazy me I had the guts enough to still drink a sip of it because I was thirsty and let me tell you. It seemed as if the MOMENT I got that first swallow in, my brain just switched into frantic mode because I started feeling an adrenaline come over me. And I FREAKED out thinking I might be poinsoned. Dont you know it took me literally an hour to calm my thoughts and reconvince myself that I wasnt going to die. Lol. But I was scrambling almost about to go to an emergency room over drinking water.
Listen I have so many funny stories(well now its funny) of how my mind just goes left in an instant and I cant be told otherwise or nothing can save me from my thoughts.
But thanks for your words of encouragement. Im just sitting on my porch now trying to soak in some fresh nighttime air. Its dark here. And trying to calm my thoughts. Lets see how tonight goes...
Oh icanbeatthis, I’m so sorry sounds awful to feel so anxious. I’m no medic but it does sound like it’s health anxiety. I know you have had checks at urgent care frequently due to fears. I’ve experienced a little of this, although not quite on the same scale. It’s an truly awful feeling.😩
I wondered if you had ever tried any counselling/therapy, our minds are such a strong thing and in my opinion our anxieties stem from something , usually that has happened , I know we are all very individual in how things affect us. I always think knowledge is power. Well learning why we react how we do, I personally feel helps us better manage it...
I know counselling and therapy can be difficult to instigate depending on where you live and your area.
It never ceases to amaze me what we can be lead to believe through our anxieties and how good our minds are at tricking us 😩
Good wishes xxx
Hello
You say you have been diagnosing yourself are you a doctor ?
Ermm I think you may say you are not so how can you diagnose yourself ?
Well I think we know again that the anxiety is doing the diagnosing making sure it keeps a firm grip on you and you have to let Anxiety know it isn't a Doctor either !
Only your Doctor can diagnose you so please help yourself to start with by not going searching for answers that will always be the worse scenario especially if you look on Google
So many of us Anxiety sufferers have trouble with our digestive systems which affects every part including the bowels , you could have IBS as that is common among us to as for anything else I would say not but check your symptoms with the Doctor if you have not already and when they say you are fine then trust them and try and start to let go
I have digestive problems which affects my bowels and I relate to your symptoms they all come down to anxiety , anxiety can cause some real physical issues but nothing sinister
It sounded lovely as I read some of your replies that you were sat out at night , weather in the UK not so great and certainly not great enough to be sat out but I hope it helped you to relax a little , you had a good nights sleep and today is a good day for you
I also often feel lightheaded, shaky, can't get my breath, clench my jaw and don't even realise it, and my muscles ache so much it makes me feel nauseous.
Just wanted you to know you are not alone, I fight this every day and it is exhausting, and sometimes my life just feels like an existence. I don't enjoy things I used to anymore and that makes me sad and a try with myself, because I can't get past this awful panic.
At least on here we know that we are all coping one way or another, I wish we could all find a miracle and just pick up our lives again.
Sorry to respond back so late. But how have you been lately. I still get sensations and symptoms upon having a BM. It's almost like my body gives off symptoms before a bm is coming. I can say that it gives me a little bit of ease to look back at this post and see it was 7 months ago and I was having so much anxiety and fear. But its seven months later and I'm still complaining about the same thing. Lol. !! I wish us the best.
Well, at least we can look back on his we felt two years ago and we are still here!
I am about the same, but I do have a few better days now. Still get the ridiculous feelings like you before a bm, sort of sickly so kj g feeling that starts me panicking because it's not right...but it must just be my anxious self that is expecting these feelings, a while after I feel ok.
I still get aches and pains, lightheadedness and a little nausea, but to be honest with you, although it still scares me, I am worse when I have to go somewhere. I have become resigned to the fact that I have to live with this, and maybe one day if I start to live more and forget about it, it will go away.
Well today was definitely one of those days for me filled with ridiculous symptoms and got very anxious thoughts and what ifs all day. Its amazing how some days it's so bad for me that I am scared to even get out of bed for fear of what the next minute can bring. Even though I have built enough strength to still go to work even though I have my bad days. But people who don't experience what we do will never even know how hard it is to do something as simple as leaving the house and even drive to work. But I kept getting all sorts of aches cramps and sharp pain the nausea from acid reflux and my mind just could not focus. And have found myself resigning to the idea that I'll die like this. That something is going wrong. Smh.
I think we are so tuned in to every little squeak or creak our body makes. I thi k this is why we feel so peculiar before a bowel movement. We are highly aware of every feeling in our bodies, we have forgotten what it is like to feel normal.
Also as you said about fearing getting out of bed and what might happen in the next minute, it's frightening.
I have had that many different symptoms, it can't be anything else except anxiety and panic.
I have had, aches and pains in every part of my body including arms and legs, neck, back and shoulders being the worse. Morning diarrhoea, then constipation, ibs. Nausea, lightheadedness, can't get my breath, funny jolts when I can't get my breath especially at night, ringing in my ears, jaw clenching. Feeling like I'm going to have a fit, faint or throw up when I'm out.
These symptoms chop and change all the time.
I've only ever had antisickness pills for the nausea and diazepam for the panic, but I have been trying to stop the diazepam as I read it can cause breathing problems, so I haven't taken any for nearly two weeks now, and whether it's in my head or not my breathing feels easier.
I've told you all this because I hope it makes you feel better to know you are not alone.
Every symptom you mentioned I've experienced. It does feel a bit comforting to know we are sisters of anxiety. I truly hope that we will grow old to tell others our stories.
I suffer with emetiphobia too and at the weekend babysat a 4yr old who threw up all night...I am now having my worse nightmare that I am going to get it....no one can comfort me until a couple of weeks have passed. I'm stupid I know!
As for all the other Thu vs I wake expecting something every day...it's crazy other people just wake up, get up and get on with their day, they don't think, what do I feel like, am I dizzy, do I feel weird?
When I think back I was ok once, I really can't Think how I got this bad, don't they say it's the fear of the fear?!
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so how can you diagnose yourself ? 
Will I ever be 'me' again?
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