hi i just want to offload.
I feel absolutely rotten and have done for a while. i know my chrinic health problems are partially to blame. I am employed and only supposed to work part time but until December i have said i wil do extra hours. i have ended up doing full time, yes i know i should say no but i stay at work sometimes because i dont want to go home. Due to my health i have not been able to keep my house in order and i have started buying things to see if they make me feel better so now i have a house full of crap. i need to get rid of it all but i haven't the energy.
I dont get any help from anyone including my husband who seems to have taken to drinking everytime he gets home from work. he huffs and puffs like a steam train and i am so fed-up with it all.
I had a fall last week - i hurt my back and neck and i mentioned this to my docotr. No comment!!. I told him my hands were cold and numb mist of thetiem since my fall and my neck is very tight and sore. he has prescribed me prednisilone and this will just make my diabetes worse ( mind you it can't get much worse) He has also given me a high dose of a butrans patch (he gave me 5mgs to try for a month) I sit and cry in front of him and tell him how shite i feel. I have asked again and again for some help (don't want counselling - load of crap) - to no avail. I have even mentioned paying privately for CBT (it really helped me once before). I have no friends i can talk to and no relatives. Just a husband and two grown up daughters who are rather selfish.
I am feeling very low and weepy and so very alone.
Sorry about the rant but i needed to just get these feelings out and if you have read this to hear thank you you have a lot of patience . so all of you take care and be good to yourself x