Need advice on a trigger

[Aardbark]

Everytime I think of my daughter and son, I get depressed. When my daughter was 12 years old age, she was calling me juvenile and immature. She is now 16 and had not communicated to me in over a year and a half. My son is 14 and showed for Christmas and wrote me a text in March. He at the least let's me text him every Sunday. I know my ex-wife told them if my mental illnesses. Today I to rearranged my apartment which contained many of their photos, triggering another depressive episode. I put all of those photos in one spot. I considered just putting the photos in a box and forgetting about them. However, I know I never truly spoke to my parents until I was 18. I have no idea what they are going through. Any thoughts?

Thanks,

Aardbark

[Hidden]

What they may be going through is confusion on where you stand as to understanding your mental state. They need to accept it and be there for you as support and of course family. If they have not communicated with you much then you may need to take action on the reconnection to them. They could very much be seeing the same as connecting to you. It’s just a question on who will make the move first.

Since it has been some time since communicating try to call or text them and see where it goes. You never know unless you try. Be strong and always look forward for the better.

It also may be best to put the box of photos aside for the moment until you feel better on your part. Always have hope.

[Aardbark in reply to Hidden]

The big question today on my mind is how open should I be with a 14 year older? I have no problem taking about my disorders. I have learned more about them and can discuss them in detail. However, should I?

Aardbark

[unlabels in reply to Aardbark]

She will understand more than you imagine.

[Hidden]

Your 14 year old will need a different approach. You know more about him and will have to talk to him from a different angle in which you know he will be comfortable as to understanding. Observe the way he reacts while you are talking to him. If you see an indication from him a bit uncomfortable on his behalf that is where you either slow down or stop at that point. Then try again later on. Either way progress will be made. 😊

[Tekakwitha]

Hi Aardbark, you are falling out of relationship with one child and in minimal relationship with the other. I am in a double jeopardy situation but would like to encourage you not to give up hope. In my observation for most the teenage years are a wilderness of experimenting, losing one's way, experiencing everything either in psychedelic colours or deep dark gloom. This is true regardless of how one's parents are. But teenage years come to an end a new sense of responsibility and balance grows. So difficult relations are highly likely to be replaced by something altogether more positive. My mother was sectioned when I was seven and remained tempestuous for the rest of life. Manic depression. I left home at 16 to get away and then changed continents for five years. when I came back she was as before, she could not hold or hug me and had a searing hurtful tongue.i realised eventually I had to understand her condition. This became more possible when I was sectioned for bipolar which is the same condition under a different name. I came to realise she loved me but found it too risky to say so in case she was hurt. That was partly my fault. I had been closed up for years and defensive. I do have children of my own and have made terrible mistakes with them. But what has made the difference has been my drug treatment under a psychiatrist. still put up with my eccentric behaviour but the drugs help avoid some bipolar mistakes. Also my children are growing up and whatever difficulties they now face they are not the agonising complexities if adolescence. I have to make my apologies to them but they are growing up and less and less want to repeat the closed circles of the past. So I would say please do not give up as everyone grows in maturity and the desire to understand others over time. I remember being a teenager and I was never at my best then. I needed patience from others before I could even begin to see outside my situation. So stay with it --- for hope precedes the dawn. Tekakwitha