Do I have depression? If I do how to get help plz. And also how to tell my mom, if I do.

[Im-so-weird-49]

I'm 14 and just to say most of the Time I just want to give up and end it all. Basically I want to DIE , but I don't do it cause I'm kinda scared to and i also don't want to cause my family pain. I used to self harm , well i still secretly do and my family found out and they told me to stop, but hey it's not that easy.I cry alot alone in my room at night usually uncontrollaby so much that i start screaming and at the same time im pissed at myself and i always want to be alone. I long for someone to be with me /love me , care for me ,hold me ,etc. And When my family found out that I was self harming, I told them that I needed/wanted help , but they never LISTENED! And sometimes i feel like i can trust my cousins so i tell my cousins how i feel about certain things that is supposed to be a secret but they end up telling everyone, so now i feel/know that i cant trust anyone , ugh. Time has passed but now I feel even worse than I did before and i dont what to do anymore. I think I have depression . I find life boring, hopeless, and I feel like I'm worthless ,stupid,obese,hopeless,ugly,people even tell me i cant do anything right (mom) ,etc. And also i always find eveything EXTREMLY boring, like everything i used to enjoy its just like "meh" now , i feel like im deprieved from all joy and happiness, for ex. I cant even find an intesting show on netflix i always get super bored and im there for pratically an hour looking for something. And also school i find SUPER EXTREMELY BORING ! , uggg ,help ! So do u think i have depression ? Or idk. If i do any ideas how to tell my mom ? And also if i get diagnosed with depression and they give me anti-depressents , can u tell me how to swallow pills for the 1st time , sorry if i sound really stupid. So i really dont know what to do , or of I really do have depression. It would help me a lot if u could answer some of these questions or atleast relate so I can know I'm not the only one feeling this way. Please and thanks , sorry that this is so long.

[Kezj05]

Hiya sorry you feel like life is a struggle , everyone has ups & downs but sometimes it seems never ending . You sound like a lovely caring person with who is not stupid because you know you don't feel unhappy & writing on here is a good first step . Now listen what you feel will not last forever , boredom is part of your age changing from a child to be a strong beautiful , independent women that you will be come . Sorry your parents don't seem to be listening trouble is as a parent life can be so busy we don't take time to see what's going on around us which is ashame . You are not alone there are many girls & boys who feel like you , I found a number for you childline 0800 1111 or contact online childline.org.uk they are brilliant , you will get through this keep writing on here take care .

[Im-so-weird-49 in reply to Kezj05]

Thank you very much ! "

[Im-so-weird-49]

Sorry I haven't seen this before, I'm sorry that u have to go through this. I hope ur ok.

[NewMaggie]

I'm sure you're parents love you to bits sweetie it's just that they probably don't want to believe that something is wrong with their child because that's like saying that they have caused it because that's how some parents think. Please have faith in yourself and when you wake up every morning SMILE for as long as you can whether you feel like it or not!! This will help you to have a better day and each day will get better.

Imagine being happy with yourself and doing small things which make you happy and try to keep smiling.

Hope this helps...I'm not just talking....I've been in the same boat sweetie.

Hope this helps,

Maggie