My depression has been really bad and I've been considering suicide a lot. I decided I really did want to have one last try to fix this, so I made an appointment to see a GP (not my GP after last time).
I'm completely shell shocked from the appointment i had yesterday. I told the doctor that I've been struggling with depression and had thoughts of killing myself. He asked me why and I explained how I'm never happy, I struggle so much to carry on and I don't see things improving. He turned around and said, 'That's how everyone feels, what makes you so special that you can kill yourself?'.
I'm not special. Not at all. Nobody is special. That's kind of point!
He gave me the option of being taken in to psychiatric care by the police or walking away and having a referral to the psychiatry team. I obviously didn't want to be taken in, so went with the other option. He wouldn't prescribe anything to try because I've already been on so many types of antidepressant with no benefit.
I haven't heard anything from the referral and I feel completely alone. I can't talk about this to anyone. The GP said I should go back next week, but I don't want to have a confrontation with him. He just made me feel worse.