I went to the doctor

My depression has been really bad and I've been considering suicide a lot. I decided I really did want to have one last try to fix this, so I made an appointment to see a GP (not my GP after last time).

I'm completely shell shocked from the appointment i had yesterday. I told the doctor that I've been struggling with depression and had thoughts of killing myself. He asked me why and I explained how I'm never happy, I struggle so much to carry on and I don't see things improving. He turned around and said, 'That's how everyone feels, what makes you so special that you can kill yourself?'.

I'm not special. Not at all. Nobody is special. That's kind of point!

He gave me the option of being taken in to psychiatric care by the police or walking away and having a referral to the psychiatry team. I obviously didn't want to be taken in, so went with the other option. He wouldn't prescribe anything to try because I've already been on so many types of antidepressant with no benefit.

I haven't heard anything from the referral and I feel completely alone. I can't talk about this to anyone. The GP said I should go back next week, but I don't want to have a confrontation with him. He just made me feel worse.

5 Replies

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  • That GP should be fired don't go and see him find someone else he rubbish talking out of his back side

    Have you ever thought about doing courses ?

    But anyway really if you ever wanted to talk please email me or message me on here. I know what your going through and feel

    anna

  • Dear Hiding place, that was a pretty bizarre encounter you had with your GP! Sounds like he/she might have a touch of the black dog too! But you've got a referral right? I'm sure the right people will be much better able to help you get back some sense of your healthier self. When I feel like you it is usually driven by something or someone in particular. Is there a recent event that has brought you this low? It is not easy to identify the trigger but I find it helps to pin point something which gives you a focus and distracts away from some despair. Hold tight, help may be at hand. Don't give up on yourself. Best wishes to you.

  • i would go back and see a different gp. could you phone social services for the number of the local crisis team failing that if things are too much let the police take you to somewhere safe its scary i know but they can keep you safe and get you help

    thinking of you

    sarah x

  • Hi

    The GPs response was unprofessional and demonstrates very little understanding of mental illness. It also shows very little respect for you as a person and for how hard it must have been for you to take the courage to open up in that way - there is never any excuse for a professional to be so insensitive. No one can stop you killing yourself if you really want to and I imagine that is what the GP was trying to get you to see but he had a very insensitive way of doing so!

    You are entitled to help. I would change to another GP practice, preferably one with more sensitivity to mental illness. To find out which one you might contact the local Mind organisation and ask which ones they find understanding of mental health issues. An alternative would be to self-refer to your local CMHT. I know in some areas they will not accept direct referrals from patients but in ours they do and they have an emergency service every day during the daytime where you can phone - they won't see you immediately but will take the referral and offer an appointment, mine was 6 weeks away but still better than nothing. They then assess your mental health needs and as they are specialised you are likely to get a better understanding than from even a good GP. Do google the details, I put in mental health and my local town name and found my local primary mental health care team phone number. Tell them clearly that you feel suicidal and how often you have those feelings, also tell them you know they can't offer an emergency service and will phone Samaritans if you feel there is an immediate risk but that you would like to be assessed for help with the feelings.

    I would also write a formal letter of complaint to the practice manager, nice and clearly written explaining how you felt and what happened and how difficult it had been for you to seek help in the first place, that you should have been explained the alternative kinds of treatment available to help you with your difficult feelings and then be allowed to choose which you would have liked to be referred to. I would send a copy of the letter to regional health authority - you should be able to get their details from the practice manager. Please don't be intimidated about writing in that way, so long as you are polite. It is important because you are clearly able to survive and think clearly whereas another patient might be more vulnerable and the GPs behaviour might have nudged them into killing themselves!

    I do hope you get offered the help you need and are entitled to under the NHS. In the meantime the Samaritans are good for immediate help when you are feeling most desperate as they will always be there to talk to, also this website is really useful as most people here will have dealt with similar feelings of their own.

    Take care and i'll look forward to hearing more from you if you are able to write more about your life and why you feel suicidal.

    Suexx

  • Hello,

    thought i drop a message to see how your doing hope everything ok

    take care

    anna xxx