Log in
Above & Beyond
3,544 members1,113 posts

I had a lot of abuse as a child from my mum and other. Is sorry enough for a relationship.

I took one of the ladies to court who physically and emotionally abused me. I didn't realise how hard it would be after but the person I'm struggling most with is my mum.

When I told her about the case. She was like but you're just a witness as there was another person too. Like my pain wasn't enough.Referred to it as this whole carry on. She also went for coffee with this woman. Mum and I spoke about the past and I forgave her. It feel now like I've been taken for a mug. My mum is now disabled and relies on me. I just don't know what to do? I don't want to be the bad one who leaves an old woman on her own. Don't want people thinking bad of me.

5 Replies
oldestnewest

Tuff one, what happened at court? The way I work is first has your mum owned up to doing wrong? Two how does she treat you now? Could you move away and start over? Three are you happy with the way it is now?if not then you need to do something to help yourself or in the end it will eat you up. You need to put your self first.Deside what is best for you.

Reply

Thank you for replying. I felt the past behind us till she went for coffee with this woman. The woman was found guilty and give 120 hours of community service for abuse me and one other as children.

Reply

Have you had any help to do with your past? We all try to put it away out of our mind but some how it seeps out I see from other post you have Fibromyalgia will if it does not run in you family. Tarmer can bring it on. Sorry can not spell.

1 like
Reply

Hello pugwash80

Thank you for your post and sharing your struggles.

Can I just say my heart really does go out to you my friend especially because you have been through so much and it's obviously still with you.

The hardest part for me reading it is this lady is your mother. Your maternal mother as a mother myself I would never ever have a coffee with my child's abuser in fact I can't say on here exactly what I would do 😲 but having a coffee isn't one of them.

First of all is the court case now over with? I really think you've been through enough in your past you shouldn't have to go through more trauma now as a adult.

Bobby has some very good advice there for you have you ever confronted your mother about your abuse? And your abuse isn't a carry on it's abuse it's wrong in anyway so well done you for taking your abuser to court they shouldn't get away with any sort of abusive behaviour and should be taken to court.

Look at it this way my friend your a adult now who needs to embrace her life and live it don't let your abuse consume your future it's robbed you of your past don't let it have your future sweetie. I know your mum is your mother and I know she is disabled but don't let her guilt trip you into caring for her theres enough carers and support workers that will come in daily and take care of your mum's needs

Meanwhile you should put your needs first now go and live your life to the full move away get your own independence tell your mum you love her but you need your own life now and moving away will give you a break away from your past reminders start a fresh and put yourself first now have you also tried counselling to help you try and move forward please do if you haven't they very helpful.

It's your turn now live a good future

Hope this helps

Nat

Reply

Thanks ladies. I'm 37 and have a teenage son of my own so totally don't get it either.

My sons autistic and he still wants to see her. If I stop seeing her he has to go alone and I can't do that. X

1 like
Reply

You may also like...