I honestly don’t know. *Trigger warning* - Above & Beyond

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I honestly don’t know. *Trigger warning*

I_am_a_person_too profile image

I honestly haven’t been on here in a while, but I need help. For the past half year, I’ve been feeling anxious and suicidal. I’m not sure if I’m depressed and I feel incredibly ashamed for thinking I am. I haven’t gone through with my most recent plan because I don’t want to upset my family. I told them how I was feeling a while back, and I didn’t like the attention it got. I pretended like I was getting better but I really wasn’t. Anyways, I feel like I’m crazy for saying this, but this is the most genius plan. Now that I think about it, it’s ridiculous. In the past hour, I’ve been pondering about how to tell my parents this and I found that I can spend the rest of my week just being reckless and carefree about anything and on my last day, I can take a handful of ibuprofen and call 911 “pretending” that I tried to commit suicide and regret it. Although, I’ve just realized that we don’t have health insurance at the moment so I can’t really go through with this. Sorry if I offended anyone, but please leave me comments on what I should do.

7 Replies

Hi there,

you don't need to feel ashamed for thinking you might have depression. We've all been through it and able to pull back from those thoughts. Do you have a family doctor you can turn to? here in UK we have our NHS and GP Doctor who can help. There should also be free help lines you can call and talk to. The main thing is if you know you're not well then that's not a bad thing or to be ashamed of - it's quite a brave thing to do and you need to take steps to get the right help. If you feel you don't know who to turn to then maybe a close friend, cousin, someone you trust who can help. Are there any local community support centre's you can turn to for advice?

I know it's not easy to stop thinking the way you do but if you can try and go for a walk for some fresh air and slowly encourage yourself to clear out these thoughts. It helped me quite a lot at times. Every issue we have has a root cause and identifying it is really important so that you can deal with it. This is where a therapist comes in handy to help you deal with those.

Please don't feel ashamed. There is no reason for it. It's important that you realized the plan is not a good one and that you are still in need of help. It would be good to contact your doctor and be honest with him/ her.

Hi @i_am_a_person_too

Do not feel ashamed of having depression..please please seek help asap and get the help you need regarding wanting to end your life don't hold in your feelings or thoughts and please don't go through with it..that would be a permanent thing for what can be a temporary solution you can beat this and you can get better... keep us updated

NAT xx

Thank you everyone for replying, I didn’t think anyone would.

Hi how are you feeling at the minute

Nat x

Sorry for not replying before. I am doing better at the moment. The suicidal thoughts have passed and I’m using painting as a coping method.

Fabulous so very glad to hear it. We are here if you need a chat x

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