Something is wrong but I don't know what?

[HeadachesHurt]

It's my first time writing on here... but I really need some help. For the past 10 months or so I have been feeling extremely weird. At first, it was just common things, social anxiety and symptoms of depression. When I entered the 7th grade, I started seeing a therapist. My parents decided that I was perfectly healthy and after my anxiety started to lighten up, we stopped the therapy. I am a huge hypochondriac so I'm trying hard not to self-diagnose anything.... but I know something is wrong with me mentally. I am much too young to see someone on my own, and I can't tell my parents. I feel very detached from the world... sometimes more aware than others. I try to force back my feelings and I sometimes say or do things that I know isn't true but I do it impulsively. My head just feels constantly deranged and not fully in check. I am a maladaptive daydreamer, but I'm not sure if that has anything to do with it. Also, I'm a smart kid, in honors classes and usually a straight-A student, but this year my grades have been slowly slipping and I just can't work up the energy to do any kind of homework or paperwork anymore. I've also become terrible with my short-term memory in the last couple months, and have become extremely snappy and oppositional. My mom claims it's just hormones as I am turning 13 soon, but I just know something wrong. I'm very quiet and a shy person so maybe its just me and part of me thinks I'm being over dramatic but I have to ask for help. I am extremely negative and have poor time management skills aswell. I was also bullied for a year or so, and teased and made fun of for a couple years after that.

I know I'm young, but please help!

[BlueRobin45]

Hi,

I'm sorry to hear you've been having so many problems at such a young age and I definitely think you need some kind of support from someone who will be non-judgemental and will help you work through your issues. I assume you are from the US by the way you speak so I am afraid I can't help you regarding seeing doctors and therapists on your own, but over here in the UK there is no minimum age to start going to the doctors on your own and mine actually encouraged me to do it as my mam would talk over me and he thought I would never be fully honest with her in the room. There is nothing wrong with using self-diagnostic tools or reading information as it helps to give you an idea what is wrong with you before going to the doctor, but you have to use your common sense and take things with a pinch of salt, never think you suffer from something until it is truly diagnosed by the doctor. Can I ask did you find your therapist helpful at all? If you think there is something wrong then trust your instincts and find somewhere where you can get support where your parents don't have to be there, as that will create a safe space for you where you can get things off your chest without being judged for it. There is no shame at all in having any of the thoughts and feelings you may have, you should try to accept them without judgement. You could try keeping a diary as I have started doing so you can work through your emotions and follow your thought processes through fully without losing track, it would be completely private and paper is never going to judge you. It's even been suggested to me to talk to myself when no one else around as it takes you out of your own head a bit. It is natural when you hit puberty to have mood swings and feel awash with emotions, but if you'd had problems like this before and you feel something isn't right then I think it's more than that. If you're still unsure read up about what happens during puberty and if you still feel like it's something more than that then believe in your own judgement.

Don't be afraid to share anything you want to or ask any questions

Take care and hope to hear from you soon

[HeadachesHurt in reply to BlueRobin45]

Hi! Thanks for replying. Here in the U.S, I can't get therapy on my own so young. It did help me a lot though. My parents aren't very happy when I mention something being wrong-- never mind the fact that my mom never listens to me. I can't go to therapy on my own until I have enough money for insurance and things like that. It seems that I have symptoms of many things, but I just can't seem to find one that hits home. Every time that I write down in a journal or talk to myself I usually end up crying. My old therapist said that I showed signs of major depressive disorder and generalized anxiety, but my parents neglected it. The worst part is they baby my sister and her anxiety. I'm just not sure what kind of help I can seek, but I'll try the journal thing again. Thank you for your suggestions!

[BlueRobin45 in reply to HeadachesHurt]

It's such a shame that the healthcare system in your country is the way it is, because in our country we get treatment on the nhs and there are multiple mental health charities that are available for us to contact by phone or over the internet whenever we are feeling particularly vulnerable, and what is said between me and my counselor is completely confidential. The problem is your parents may be making some of your issues worse and having them in the room while talking to a therapist could affect how safe you feel in that space to speak freely. It can be really difficult for parents to deal with children with mental health issues especially if they hadn't experienced it first hand before or they have unresolved issues, no matter how old you are. Sometimes it is best to cry because it is a release and that your thoughts provoke emotions within you. The only other things I can suggest is to try searching for a free mental health helpline because it will give you someone impartial to talk to who may be able to offer some advice, and maybe take some online psychiatric tests just to get an idea of what you might be suffering from, but like I say don't treat it as an official diagnosis, I found psychcentral to be quite a helpful website. Just try to hang in there and keep going until you get the support you need, everyday you get through is an achievement.

[Esmetoyou]

I realize you wrote this post 2 years ago, but you have not gotten your answer yet. You are gifted and living with intensity. Get the book, Living with Intensity. There is likely something wrong with you that is affecting you in a very big way, but is what’s called sub clinical. Your intensities, which are a pain in the butt, but also a wonderful gift, allow you to be incredibly self aware to the point that you are aware something is off, but those around you don’t. Here’s the key, if tests don’t reveal anything then there isn’t anything to worry about, yet. Also, the body is amazing and it heals itself more times than MOST people are even aware of. So, yes there is something likely off, but your body may heal it.

The lack of energy, etc. is common with gifted people. Simplify your life, and this means cutting out a lot of things you want to learn and explore and a lot that others have told you that you need or have to do. If you don’t simplify, your situation will get worse and you will need a large amount of downtime to heal it and it could take years.

You are lucky that you are so young as you will heal faster and because time is on your side. Read a lot on giftedness and surround yourself with others who gifted so that you may experience what’s known as mirroring. Also be sure to read up on binocular behavior.

Lastly, stay away from all therapy, diagnoses, medications, etc. unless the providers are gifted themselves. A gifted coach may be able to help those who are underage.

Let us know how you’re doing

[alex54321]

i know this is a really late answer, but i have adhd and i experience a lot of those. impulsivity, memory issues, poor time management, and maladaptive daydreaming, plus the brain fog, are all symptoms i experience. i believe they're all primarily inattentive type. i'd advise doing some research on it if you're still feeling this way, check out adhd tags on social media, and seeing a doctor if possible, but i understand if you can't. i can't either lmao. anyways, good luck!