Understanding

[Family_05]

Hi I'm female 57. Was put in an induced coma in hospital in Spain due to pneumonia caused by accidental overdose of Tramadol.My first memory was being held kidnapped by nurses and I was strapped down with a wire to my neck, the pain was excruciating, and I remember thinking if this is a dream I want it to be over. I was then trying to fight my way out but was impossible.

Then I began this whole new life of meeting new people, also seeing people that I knew before but they were working in the hospital. I could see myself fighting imaginary figures. Was such a surreal experience. Was wondering if anyone else had similar memories.

Just to clarify I was in a coma for 10 days , took a while to get my body strength back to leave hospital. I'm still struggling to sleep without tablets and still getting the images of my memories from the coma.

Think I need to see a psychiatrist.

[Sepsur]

has anyone ever mentioned ICU delirium to you?

EMDR works well to help you move on.

[Family_05 in reply to Sepsur]

Will look into it. Thanks

[Sepsur in reply to Family_05]

Delirium is the result of sedation, illness, sleep deprivation, fluid and mineral irregularities toxins in the body that have ‘hung around’ because of renal dysfunction etc etc - it a melting pot of so many factors. Its effect on the brain is mind-blowing. We often talk about the episodes of delirium feeling as if they were real - well it’s been shown that some of these episodes become ‘imprinted’ - so no wonder it’s all feels real.

[Lux95]

Yes, the nightmares that seem very real are a common effect of sedation and our minds trying to deal with the trauma, but without seeing and processing what is going on. It makes for a rough time in a coma. People who haven't been through it simply can't understand.

I was in for pneumonia, ARDS and ventilated/sedated for just under two weeks.

I had a recurring dream about a nurse who I constantly feared would end up killing me because she was incompetent at her job. In my dream world, I learned her name, what she looked like, had conversations with her; begged my wife to come back and stay with me when that nurse was on duty one weekend. I even learned about her parents, home, background, etc.

Of course it was all fiction, based on absolutely no one I had ever met, seen or heard of. No nurse even looked like her or had her name. There were other bizarre and terrifying dreams - all of which I still remember to this day. I remember nothing of the two weeks before going into the ICU and most of my time there.

Surreal is a good description. It feels so real sometimes it is hard to distinguish the real world from dreams. We really need post-ICU psychological rehab in addition to physical. There is nothing like that here in the US, but Sepsur suggested EMDR and that is worth looking into.

[Family_05 in reply to Lux95]

Thank-you for your reply, like you said unless you have experienced it no one understands. I kept telling my family everything that I experienced and they said no that didn't happen. I understand now that it it didn't but it was so real to me at the time. Will definitely look into EMDR .

Would love a good night's sleep without all the vivid memories that play back in my mind.

Hope you get peace.

[BigH63]

Hi. Yes this is delirium. I have 13 clear different reality experiences still clear two yrs later as of Wednesday just gone.

The were real to me I experienced the same body feelings as I do in real life ie smells, temperature, voices, good or bad or scary, touch, etc it was real to me because I lived them like I live everyday life.

Mine were all very scary, and still haunt me today. We find it’s not how long you were in a coma as it looks like the drugs they use.

You recover is hard l imagine just starting to walk better, still can’t walk uo inclines easily, my physical strength is picking up but I still get tired quickly and still need rest in between doing physical things. Memory lose is normal for us ICU Survivors as well as brain fog

Good luck with your recovery and keep posting if you need info etc.

[Lez75]

I was in a coma for 16days, I thought I was in bejing and I’d been abused while there when I woke up and said this to my partner and family they said that it didn’t happen but it was so real to me, there was also I’d been taken by a nurse to a house and they wouldn’t let me go there was her grandad in a coffin there, I had a few more that seemed so real to me. When they moved me to a ward they kept asking me where was I and I told them I was in the northern general hospital but I didn’t believe I was I jut so that cos that’s where they told me I was, it wasn’t till I started to walk again with a frame and went to the day room and looked out of the window that I knew where I was for definite. It was so unreal and like you say unless you’ve been through it it’s hard to explain to anyone

[Misterpaulwood]

Icu delerium is very common, many of us suffer with PTSD due to this, for me emdr therapy was the key to recovery, after a year of therapy all nightmares and flash backs have gone, I'm sure if you can get your gp to refer you to a icu clinical psychologist you will get back to normal, it's not a quick fix but works with time,All my best wishes

Paul at the Steampacket Inn Knottingley