Hughes can be traced back to 5 miscarriages (20+ weeks) & stillbirth @ 32 weeks approx. Blessed with girl before & boy prior to a Hysterectony at 27. This was due to fibroids and constant periods , 1988. Heart Attack caused by infection in the pluera (sack around heart was twice the size filled with fluid & infection ), in 1998. Otherwise very fit. Only slept 4-5 hours a night. Always worked at Senior levels & thrived on stress. Lived in USA for 10 years moving back to the UK in mid 2000. Working again within a week - again Management positions, found a family home, Container arrived from States. OCD re house & Garden, home cooking etc so constantly on the go. End of 2002 had flu like symptoms for a week & ended up hospitalised, paralysed from waiste down for nearly 3 months. Outcome. Was dropped from a hoist damaging my back but refused to report officially as the stroke ward I was on was so short staffed. Only 2 staff on duty @ night. But Dr's final opinion was nothing wrong with me but stress.
We all know that one. Was left with paralysed lower L leg.
Things seemed to improve by will power but exhaustion would put me in bed & I had chronic pain from the back injury. GP told my family it was all in my mind & Husband left me after being together for over 27 years.
Alone & helpless I tried to kill myself. I was found unfortunately & then my X's family rejected me totally. I knew no one in the area. Except him & his family.
I now feel the same as I did then. Ten years ago. I just want to end it all.
I am 51. Unable to work. A burden on Society because I receive benefits & I also have female carers twice a day to help with my personal needs etc.
My old GP was brilliant but was involved in a crash where a lady with dementia walked out in front of him. Poor mzn is in prison & his locum has taken over. He says my case is too complicated & one of my local Consultants has written 4 times askjng for him to make a referal but he just doesn't do it. I don't havs the energy to find a new GP...
For 10 weeks this year with the help of my carers and a goal plan my local Consultants helped me set-up..even with motivational pictures around my flat I managed to go from being bedbound to getting up & dressed every other day & even managed to get out in my wheelchair. Each time a little further. Even managed a trip to the shops & a few charity stores. Then massive migraine attacks hit. Imigram injections didnt help so I ended up in A & E 4 times where IV cocktails worked. However after getting home @ 4am my personal carer that day was turned away & my care stopped as they thought I had been an inpatient. It oo 8 weeks of fighting to get my care reinstated. Apparently no yearly reviews had been completed by Social Services & Care Companies had changed on April 1st & all their paperwork was incorrect. No care plans etc. I had made the mistake of BCC the QCC in my letters to the Care Company & Social Services.
Don't make the same mistake as me.
Finally I got my cate reinstated but ghe stress resulted in the worst outbreak of Discoid Lupus yet. My arms & Legs are covered in large chicken pox typd leisions that are pussy & constantly bleed where the tops stick to the cotton bedding & night clothes. They are perfectly round but I m sure they are now infected.
All was not lost as I had an appt at StThomas' Lupus Unit. But as usual yet another Dr I have never met. I had to pay to stay in a hotel with my full time male carer as the round trip takes 6 hrs plus due to hitting rush hour traffic either in the am or pm.
The DR was good & concerned about several issues. I now go back for a test on the 30 & another on 31 next week. But the next appt made for Jan has been postponed until the end of April (magical 6 months when staff move on). The letter arrived 2 days ago. The Hospitsl already missed thr fact I had no Vit D since 2008. The last Dr I saw looked up my results when I asked but surpruse he no longer works their. So 6 months ago I started getting IM Vit D shots & the test onthe 30th is a bone density scan to see how much damage has been done with no Vit D, B12 etc for 4 years.
What is the point of going on. I feel like I am in the same place I was in 2002/2003. Plus the freeze type fits I am having are becoming worse. Yesterday I couldnt find words, speak properly etc & wondeted if it was a stroke. Obviously not as tgis morning am back to normal. In agony. Exhausted. Useless. Drs not listening or being over ridden by their boss.
Any reason to live ? Would help government deficit if I wasn't around.