HELLO, I'M BACK!

I finally got out of the hospital at the end of march. I was continually getting double pneumonia which would lead to pulmonary edema and then to congestive heart failure. Then I fell and hit my head on the patio and got a brain bleed. THANK GOD it resolved on its own and didn't require surgery. However, I had a number nine migraine from Oct 22nd until December 24th. They tried everything to break it and what finally worked was 20mgs of diazepam and two tylenol. After about 24 hours my headache resolved so I got to come home for Christmas. Unfortunately two days later I went back into heart failure and was back in the hospital. In the meantime AFTER being readmitted I found out my ex had not paid rent for two months and I was evicted from my very nice apartment. Plus he hadn't paid any of the bills an had emptied both my checking and savings accounts. They transferred me to a convascent home with a PT facility so I could get my strength back. My ex had two months notice of when the Sheriff was going to change the locks officially. He waited till the last day so I lost everything, all of my furniture, all of my clothes. My two little dogs were placed in the dog pound and I was basically homeless. They let me stay an extra 6 weeks so I could save up my money to move to assisted living. It cost 1,100.00 to get my dogs out of the pound. But the worst part is that they placed my daughter in a private group home. They said my illness prevented me from proprely caring for her and my ex couldn't afford to get a suitable place for them to live since he doesn't like to work. My daughter is 19 years old but she's special needs and is mentally more like an 11 to 13 year old. I am now living in a Senior independent living facility. I had to move from Orange County to Riverside County. So I have to get all new doctors and Home Health staff. I get PT and OT and a weekly nurse visit. It's really a lovely place and best of all they are ordering me my own coagucheck so can monitor my PT/INR. I was so devastated over all the changes in my life. I was agoraphobic for 7 years and didn't leave my apartment. Now I'm thrust into this environment where I'm forced to be social. It's been a very hard adjustment for me. Especially having nothing but a hospital bed and a chair and TV and only two sets of pjamas to wear. But God has really blessed me in so many ways; rent includes all utilities and cable and all of my meals. The staff is terrific aND every one I've met has been very nice. I've been blessed with donations of clothes and I'm finally able to relax a little. I miss my daughter but as bad as it sounds I'm relieved that I only have me to take care of. She's happy in the group home, there are only six patients and they each have their own nurse. She's enrolled in a fabulous transition program to teach her daily living skills so she can eventually move into assisted living or independent living. She Training right now for an electric wheelchair. She wants to stay there which helps with my guilt of not being able to care for her properly. I really need a great big group hug and lots of prayers that I can get over my anxiety. I thank you for letting me ramble on but I've been quite traumatied and just needed to get it off my chest. Thank you. I love you all good night. It's 3:46a.m. here.

13 Replies

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  • Hi ZRONDA,

    Wellcome back!!!!!

    You have been going through a lot! You must be a very strong person in yourself and to be able to write so well about it all.

    Hope your mother is ok also. Please let me give you a BIG HUG and hope we will have you here now for a long time feeling well.

    Kerstin in Stockholm

  • Oh heavens, you really have been through the wars in the true sense of the word! Im really so sorry you have had to endure so much through no fault of your own and yet you still have your sense of humour and its obvious you can see the good and bright side of life again. Well Done YOU!!

    Im also so proud of you for getting those little doggies out of the pound. They will be your constant companions now and Im sure will help with your socialising and getting you outside again. You have all of our thoughts and hopes for a good and healthy life. You deserve it! Hang on in there and give those little fur babies a big hug too as they will need you as much as you needing them. A big (((((Hug)))))

  • welcome back WOW be careful !!

  • My heart goes out to you a big warm hug. It sounds, although it was exhausting route to go, this may help you in many ways.

    Please take care of yourself, first and foremost. As you found out in the most difficult of ways... if youre not well you can't take care of others. Too, you speak of being agoraphobic so being pushed into a social housing building you are forced to deal with that .

    I am sorry for you as your daughter is not able to be with you. It sounds as though she is living in a place that is encouraging her to grow more also. This might just be a huge blessing in disguise.

    Have a wonderful Mothers Day, be kind to yourself! Know all is getting better. God bless🙏🏻

  • Hello

    I'm so sorry to read what you've been going through. Sending lots of love and strength to both you and your daughter.

    Take care

    Kelly x

  • Oh bless you.what a bad journey you have been on in your health. I wish you well and you now have a better life.

  • Wow! You haven't just been through "the mill," you can now declare ownership! Glad you're now on your feet with the doggies. Hugs from West Virginia! (And I hope not-but the next time an unexpected bad event occurs in my quiet life, I will remember your story for inspiration)

  • I'm sending warm wishes your way, and I hope life will settle down for you now. Thankfully you have your dogs, they are wonderful for giving lots of love 24/7, and they're great listeners too. I understand your heart is torn about your daughter, but it sounds as though she is seeing a new beginning as well, with new possibilities, learning new things, meeting new people. It's sometimes hard to believe what a human being can bear. You are going through the worst of it, yet with grace and dignity. Here is a giant, oversized and sincere Hug. I wish you all the best. Anita

  • Sorry to hear about all your troubles. That is a lot to bear in such a short time. It does show how strong you really are, to be able to find the light at the end of the tunnel. I have sent prayers your way, and hope you gain the strength you need to rise above all this. I also live in Riverside county. In the Jurupa hills area. I hope you continue to heal and gain strength! Glad you are getting the help you need. Not to get into your personal life, but it sounds like you need a new husband, or non at all. Nobody should have to go through what you have had to. Especially when you are ill. God bless!

  • Yikes! That does read like a novel...dear God, I hope you overcome all your hardships and you ultimately triumph.

    Aloha from Hawaii!

    Kerstin

  • Thank you all for your warm love and support. Just to be clear; it was my EX-husband who did this. Two years after our divorce I was really becoming Ill but not knowing what was wrong with me, we decided to put our differences aside and co-parent our daughter. I allowed him to move in (separate rooms of course). Our daughter was thrilled to have our family under one roof again. All went pretty well for about two years. We were happy and our arrangements were that I paid rent and bills, he provided food and did all the housework and cared for my daughter and I. He also did all the cooking. When I went into the hospital for so long I had to give him access to my ATM card so could pay bills and help with food for Becca. Anyway, I think God has put all three of us in the perfect places. Chris and I were Un healthily co-dependent upon each other and we also over protected and over babied our daughter. So now we are all growing in the right directions. God knew I needed to be around more people and to get some Christian fellowship and live life more. I had given up. Becca is blossoming beautifully. And me ex is in sober living learning how to be a grown up and learning to earn his own way in the world. So yes, it's been very hard and traumatic but a HUGE Blessing at the same time. I am so grateful for all that I am learning and how much I'm growing as a person. GOD always has a perfect plan for us and I'm thrilled to be on this journey. Thank you all so much for your love and support. I'm getting my fight back; I had completely given up and was ready to die. I love all of you ♡♡♡

  • Remember God knocks you to the bottom before he continues his real plan for you. Happy building... Be on your way continue to build yourself in a good light! Blessings being sent🦋🦋

  • Hello ZRhonda

    So sorry to hear of all your hardships; you really need some time to concentrate on you. It does sound that you and your daughter are both in good places for now. Wishing you continued improvement and hugs from Australia.

    Di. x

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