I’m embarking on new steps. I will very soon be 71 years old. I have made the decision with two daughters, 3 granddaughters and 3 great grandchildren to relocate to another country. I am leaving first with one daughter and two grandchildren and three great grandchildren to land in offered accommodation until we find our own home. This means leaving the daughter I currently live with here along with my grand daughter who is 18 and developmentally delayed. The daughter I am leaving with has secured work and just has to give an arrival date.
This move has been pushed out until July as one of the great grandchildren is still to be born and at the last scan there appears to be some issues with the pregnancy. Long story but she has had issues with the last two births. We sat down as a family and decided it was best to stay here until after the birth.
so at the young age of 71 I’m emigrating!
It does mean pulling together documents and doing the usual declutter and only taking things that matter to me. I have learned that declutterring leaves gaps in my person for other experiences to fill.
im surprised that I’m even able to entertain this idea. Without having done the hard yards in therapy this would never have happened. When the monster anxiety raises its head I simply say oh that’s anxiety allow the feeling to be and pass through me. (Those who practice mindfulness will understand).
There will still be my thirds daughter living here and four grandchildren but one of those is planning in two years time with her family on moving to the same place with my great grandchild.
I expected pushback from the daughter who will remain here. I didn’t get it maybe because I said I would have an annual trip back here while ever I was able to.
I will be leaving behind an excellent therapist who has gotten me to this point in my life. She has offered me remote therapy via zoom for as long as it’s needed. So that’s a win for me. And during my trips back we will see each other F2F.
I have been researching (that’s in my blood) what is around in the new country and I will further some of the things I want to do when I arrive.
I am also tasked with finding things for my developmentally delayed grand daughter to do during the day when she arrives and her mother is at work.
Long post to say with have yards done in therapy we are still able and do not have to remain crippled by the things that caused our trauma/s.
Many will remember the me here before I began the journey of healing and looking back I can see I was tethered to those trauma but I listened and knew I didn’t want to remain in that place. I still get symptoms but I now know what they are and I use mindfulness a lot and no longer fight the feelings. But I also don’t allow those feelings as an excuse to stay stuck. There were rewards in staying stuck and always needing someone to rescue me. I’m still me but a different me.
My true wish for you for 2024 is you discover the new you for yourself.
I want to be healed soon
