Trauma from Childhood Sexual Abuse (** Trigger Warning **)

[bshrewz]

Still isolating myself even at 51 years old. Still doing negative things, revisiting the abuse over and over each day in my head and on the internet with porn. My abuse came over 40 years ago when I was 7. I was staying at a catholic camp for 30 days and myself and over younger boys were terrorized by older teenage boys both sexually as well as physical and emotional abuse. The priest and nun knew what was going on and did nothing about it. I just want to be more open with people, slow down, feel better, loose the thoughts and move forward.

[GreenYin]

I am very sorry about what happened to you. Please watch this film about a sexual abuse survivor who suffered for years and recovered through MDMA assisted therapy which may become legal one day, maybe even quite soon. Also, have you looked into Somatic Experiencing or EMDR therapy? They can be very helpful.

youtube.com/watch?v=8p05pEp...(Not working as expected?)

This is just a bit of the film. You will need to pay on Vimeo to see the full film. I paid and was blown away at how MDMA assisted therapy can help people.

[Nathalie99 Partner]

Hi bshrewz,

Welcome to the community.

Sexual abuse in childhood is particularly tricky and I am so sorry that as a result you lost relationships.

I think it is possible to heal and figure it out. There are good therapists out there who specialize in this type of trauma and they can explain a lot of what you are going through.

The impact on identity is huge and exploring it might be tough but what really matters is that you are unique, worthy of love and deserve to be happy.

It wasn't your fault that you were abused like that and I'm sorry about the consequences. It might have changed who you are as trauma does impact our identity but you can figure out your new post trauma identity.

I just wanted to share that at times I didn't believe anymore that good things could ever happen to me but they did, it took a while and I am still healing from many years of trauma but I truly believe that it is possible to heal.

Sending my support through this...