As of late, I’ve been feeling way less hungry. I don’t eat a lot at every meal, and skip a lot of them.
I looked it up, and the most applicable thing for me is that it’s a side effect of depression, which seems reasonable enough. but for some reason, I think it’s something deeper and/or something else.
When I was younger I was physically abused by my dad, and as I grew up my dad has continued to be emotionally abusive. A part of that abuse was neglecting me, emotionally yes and in other ways, but in this case, more directly related to food.
I was given enough to eat, mostly, but my dad would make fun of me for my eating habits and how I couldn’t (and still can’t) eat a lot of things because I was autistic.
As I started to grow older, and needed more food, my parents would only continue to feed me that amount of food I was allowed as a kid, and would get angry if anyone tried to take any extra food. Because of this, I sort of learned to shut off my hunger, and stockpiled food.
Getting back to the subject at hand, I was wondering if the reason I never eat and never feel any hunger anymore is that as a kid I was denied adequate food and learned to turn my hunger off.
As I’ve grown up, I’ve learned more of the ways my abuse and neglect at the hands of my father has impacted my current state, and I was wondering if this is another side effect.
Or is it just depression?