Relationships and PTSD, anxiety

[Mishkacat]

Been a tough past week. I have managed through an old friend to get out at night to go to a few bars.Now

This is a double edged sword as I couldn't socialise without alcohol and so that is why I have not met any one new.ps please don't tell me I don't need ale to enjoy myself or socialise as going to a bar and not drinking is just boring.

My point is I have never dated another person with MH issues and I wonder if

It would be easier with you having an understanding of what each one is going through. I know this isn't a dating site, pity there isn't an option to be contacted with a view of meeting and discussing each others feelings and go from there.just sounds so obvious as alcoholics and drug addicts attract one another.or am I thinking it's better to date someone who doesn't suffer.just all my last 10 yes of relationships have failed due to my PTSD symptoms and wanting to be alone.I know getting out more helped me meet strangers and was great.... the hangovers aren't though. it's an individual choice but staying alone at home is not the answer. Take care

[Nom-D-Ploom]

I think the person we are closest to should be strong enough to let us be weak when we need to be.

[Nathalie99 Partner]

Hi Mishkacat,

Welcome to the community.

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I think it is a very difficult question and in our community there are people who have had different types of relationships and can say what worked or not worked for them.

Sharing experiences is useful for me because I get the other person's perspective that I haven't thought of before.

I haven't been in a relationship with an alcoholic but my father was alcoholic and growing up, a part of my childhood trauma was caused by his behavior especially after he had been drinking.

Subsequently I attended ACA meetings for Adult Children of Alcoholics and there were many people who could relate and had an understanding. I never dated anyone there so can't share but I made some friends.

I think it all depends on which phase of recovery you are and what kind of relationship. I think it depends on whether or not you want to spend the rest of your life with this person, grow old etc.

I think there are advantages and disadvantages to both scenarios and I can think of many situations.

I think ultimately, it is hard to support each other when both feeling unwell and unable to have that energy to get through the day ourselves.

But the understanding is a very important part of being together.

For me the best option is having a partner without mh issues but who does have an understanding and supports me.

Another issue to consider is if either of you ever chooses to quit a habit. I have friends that are a great couple. They are smoking due to stresses of life. One was trying to quit and change the diet to a more healthy one but eventually gave up on that because you can't easily quit unless the other partner does quit at the same time.

So, this is just an example of something to consider.

I think everyone makes their own choices and sometimes later in life I thought "I wish I didn't make that choice", but at the time in the circumstances it felt like the best possible choice. If I knew what I know now, I wouldn't have made that particular choice over a decade ago, which caused PTSD symptoms and changed my life.

So, I guess I am trying to say: please be cautious and stay safe........

It isn't easy going through life alone but it is also important to protect ourselves from situations which might cause further trauma.