Old Friends-New friends -Pre TBA-or walk on by!

I should imagine that a lot of people on this site has had experience of the old'friends' and 'aquantances' that cross the road to avoid you after your brains injury! I remember when my husband was in hospital after his accident , lots of cards, phone calls etc but when he came out a few months later thats when we found out our true friends. We found that people were embarassed to speak to him or me because he was obviously not the man he once was and had speech and memory problems and many times people have crossed the road to avoid having to speak to us. one person said it was 'too upsetting' for them to see my husband. There and then I thought 'stuff this' and all the loyal friends have now introduced us to new people who have warmly welcomed us into their circle. We take every invite going and I would drag him along to a tupperware party if he meant new people for my husband to talk to,. it is over a year now and his speech is really improving and we have new beginings with new genuine people so get out there and take every opportunity offered!

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  • a typical story how once hangers on post injury dont want to know but i say more their loss i have a few like that before my injury always waiting for me to pay a restaurant bill or get them duty free on my travels now never phone or contact to see how i am but the friends who stayed loyal i have raised £8000 for charity on various marathons to the loyal ones i am a hero whinessed i held a birthday lunch in a top restaurant in london last week 17 friends came to the ignorant now moaning they wernt invited guess why not neil

  • Good for you neil , its not hard to see that this situation can be very common .True friends can be few and far between . I hope you had a good Birthday !

  • this has been a main issue for me, especially..i actually see people pulling away,i realize i cannot make the same conversations,find the same funnies..it is learning to live without the tools you had before.

    when this first happened i had so many so called friends dessert me,but the ones who looked after me,and are still with me..well i have blessings i never realized i had before.

    the ones who deserted me,now try to be friendly seeing me looking a lot better then when i was attacked,and my face was like a balloon for till December gone,and i was stumbling round like a pratt..and stuttering without getting a sentence out...

    ....i use my now memory problems, to my advantage to walk right by them...pretending not to reconise them...always puts a smie on my face...as they say hello and i stare at them blankly..and when i am past them i smile..i may not be the same person..and am in a huge struggle to perform normal tasks in life..i do not have energy for fake people. i will get back on my feet,and when i do it will be with the people who are with me and the good i meet along the way....i am grateful the weeds have been pucked out! much blessings wished to you all..let us live with hope and faith..faith in ourselves

  • Good on you! our sentiments exactly. It has really made me learn lessons in life and to us now embarrasement never enters the door! The worst people have been middle aged men who prefer to sweep what happened to my husband under the carpet. It would have been so nice if one of them would have took my husband out for a pint(coke now!) and a chat! The best people are my sons friends in their teens and early 20's -no embarassment there!lots of chats and they go out of their way to speak( so it looks like an age thing!)

    Like you though Razi he is getting better slowly and surely!

  • thank you for replying pollyanne,and whilst my days out consist of doctors hospitals and food shopping,i have the odd days when my friends and sisters are around me,involving me in their lives (problems an all)keeping me who i am,(in moments)..i love the fact of love...you have for your husband,even with the change..makes me think of love in a happy way...

    slowly and surely for sure pollyanne,aw bless ya

  • It is common, yes it happened to me too, i have a few really good friends that have been there through thick and thin. I have many friends who were lost to me for many years until they could come to terms with the new me.

    Sometimes a clean break is a good thing. Just remember not to try to be something you are not just to fit in with the normies ;-)

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