Hi, I'm new to this forum. I have a Brother-in-law who had a terrible road accident sustaining brain injuries when he was 19. He is now 59. He lived with my Mother-in-Law until she died in 2009. The problems began then. Unbeknownst to us, he was being kept by mother-in-law financially and had no benefits except £50 a week incapacity benefit which wouldn't cover his living expenses. I helped him get Disability living allowance, and a carer/cleaner to come in twice a week. Then he started to make terrible accusations to my husband about me, saying I'd broken into the house and stolen priceless jewellery, He said I'd also appeared in his shower and then magically disappeared. Apparently I'd shinned up a 6ft fence and over bins and got in without any sign of broken entry stolen stuff. He even got the police involved. My husband has been brilliant, telling his brother its all in his imagination, and he won't tolerate him saying these things, but he continues to repeat these accusations every time my husband sees him,
Other members of the family have been accused of stealing, breaking in, but its me that gets the majority of his accusations, its almost like an obsession. The family (there are 3 brothers altogether) have taken him to his GP who says he isn't unwell enough to refer him to a phychiatrist. His neurologist retired 3 yrs ago and since then hes seen a different locum every 6 months who know nothing about this obsession, paranoia because he won't let my husband go with him.
Its got to the point where none of us want to visit him. He is just about coping living on his own, but the house is a tip. He refuses to pay towards its upkeep and spend £10 a week on groceries, no heating or hot water. The gas board rung us because he had asked for the gas to be disconnected and electric also. The house belongs to the 3 brothers together, so my husband and his elder brother in France pay for any upkeep/maintenance.
I try not to get down about it, but it really upsets me. I don't want to tell my husband as he has been good and he worrys about his brother enough as it is.
Any advice would be much appreciated