Remember or move on ?

[Katie55]

My husband had a fall in 2010 and it resulted in a TBI

It was bad and I was told he would never be “ him “ again but they didn’t know him like I do !

We had enormous amounts of help from Headway and over the years we got used to the new lovely John

He was a loud …larger than life Hairy Biker and everyone who met him loved him

Then during the visit of the Beast from the East we were visited by the Beast from the South better known as bowel cancer …He had five operations 25 sessions of brutal radiotherapy years and years of chemotherapy … one advantage of his TBI was his nonexistent short term memory If I was not allowed into the hospital with him ( during Covid ) he would forget why he was there and set off home !

He never once complained Had some very jolly times in the chemo unit and liked wearing hilarious underpants …he used to come round from operations wanting his breakfast I once snuck into the recovery room and he was sat on the edge of the bed being fed a yogurt by the cleaner …! The nurse nearly had a fit when she caught us I had to point out that the cleaner had stopped him from leaving and I had snuck in because I could hear him shouting!

By July ‘21 the options for treatment had all been used up and cancer had spread to his liver and lungs

He was never “ ill “ jut tired …no pain ..no discomfort or distress …on the Thursday he was too tired to do anything

The Hospice supplied us with a magic bed on the Friday and he just faded away over the weekend and died on the Monday night very peacefully

Getting to the point of this Post ….eventually !

I have happy memories of Headway …we really had a good time getting used to our new lives

But Cancer took over our lives and killed my lovely crazy noisy funny clever kind and loving partner of over thirty years

My life is horrible and empty without him I’ve tried to go to Headway meetings…he used to wander off and I could always hear him talking and laughing wherever he was in the building and I couldn’t bear not being able to hear him …

He still calls out to me in the night usually because of an eruption he would be laid in bed gripping hold of his tummy and laughing that he needed hosing down ( we once got told off because we were laughing in the disabled bathroom in Morrisons We had our first Poos on shoose. IDK what they thought we were up to …I did offer to show them but they declined my offer )

I never ever imagined that he would die No one did I had to comfort so many of his friends who were truly upset

Back to the point again …Sorry

I am leaving health unlocked I am too sad and bruised with my own thoughts and feelings to be of use to anyone at the moment

Sorry and Bye

[Kirk5w7]

❤️

[Teazymaid]

❤️

[Alibongo60]

Oh Katie, I am so sorry for your loss, and unlike Kirk and teazymaid I don’t know how to do hearts, but I’m sorry you are going to leave us your knowledge and experience could be valuable to others in the future, but I understand the rawness you feel on losing your man, to the dreaded big C, after all he went through. I wish you well for the future, I hope you will pop back occasionally let us know you are doing ok, I wish you lots of luck and love Alice xx

[ksws]

, ❤️

[paxo05]

Hi , it's good to hear a sad but yet happy uplifting post.

One question are you leaving the forum because it is a sad reminder you cannot bear. If so thanks for your time and contribution to the post and I wish you well in the future.

If it's because 6ou feel the forum doesn't apply to you anymore, we'll can I say your wrong.

The advice and suppowoyld rt you can give others would be missed.

I'm sure a on here wish you well but would be sad to see you go,

Pax

[Tanglewood77]

Gone but never forgotten his memories will live with you forever deep in your heart in a very special place. It's time for you now to take good care of yourself be strong I'm sorry for your loss😪

[skydivesurvivor]

oh no!! So sorry for your loss, shit times. We need you!! A stranger unseen to bolster, encourage us as we go through shit times too?!! Most have been there! We need unseen text to inspire us?!! Have learnt to smile to spite the frustration! Need others to share our misery? Go find y future, just leave y index finger to share progress to inspire others who are lost?….

[Leaf100]

I am so sorry for your loss.

Best wishes to you, Katie. Leaf x

[Mhelpsme]

Life really can be brutal, but he’d want you to stay strong and positive. I’m sorry I have no better advice, but my soul hears your pain.

Grief is difficult, I broke down when I lost my father, but I’m still stunned my sister has gone. She passed away in May unexpectedly and I seem to be in a state of denial or something. I still see or do things and my initial reaction is “Do would love that” or “I must tell Doreen”… then I remember.

Hold onto your precious memories and talk about him to people. He’s still in your heart and always will be. Stay strong Katie, we’re here for you.

❤️