"fake news"

[Dogsabighelp]

when you told,you believe.why should you if you know not correct?its a very easy thing to accept a "profssional"excuse spelling.i am proof of such and will continue to speak my truth.at end of day its my truth and im not having it.if i need to i will do.if i need to go there i will.there really isnt anything that can stop me..wouldnt put anyone against me i am a mother the best force there can be....

[New_beginning]

I haven't been on forum for a while, I'm going through this horrible Raw Sense of Loss. I feel I'm also going to do something, uncharacteristic. I'm entering another week not retaliating, . I joined bloody Facebook near 4 weeks ago but Groups Only to find out my husbands family been telling people I stopped them seeing my husband, the reason they been saying this because they had no updates from last year. They couldn't be honest and say they couldn't cope they couldn't respond, so they lied.

I dont know how much longer I can hold this anger in, I'm a walking detonator

[Pairofboots in reply to New_beginning]

I'm sorry New that you have seen this. Unfortunately social media is a sounding board with no filters. Because nothing is face to face, people often off load in away they would never in the real world. The last year or so has brought out the worst in people, as well as the best in some cases.

[Leaf100 in reply to New_beginning]

I have experienced similar... some people would rather lie than look bad by admitting something that make them look bad...so has to be blamed on someone else... ( in my case a visiting relative gave the jMedical people incorrect info about the person bring treated, rather than admit they did not know because of not being involved ...)

Have you any mental health support? Perhaps contact Headway and see if they have something for you...

Anger can be viewed as energy that is stuck, and yes it needs an outlet... whatever you do , do your best to be wise and act in a way that preserves your sanity and your energy.... which is why talking thing sthrough with someone can be helpful....

Myself, I am not good at knowing how to deal with such, so generally I put on a social face when I must and keep a good distance otherwise... dealing with this stuff is hard and no one needs that sort of abuse it on top of everything else...

It is pretty mean of people to not be supportive, and then go the extra step and dump accusations on you after they've left you to cope on your own.

I have noticed a lot of people flee the difficult, especially when it comes to health and long term commitment to being supportive. Doesn't make it right.

I am sorry you are having to deal with this Nb. I totally get it pushes your rage button. It is so unfair.

[New_beginning in reply to Leaf100]

I have husbands brain injury psychologist to verbally talk, that's been it and you know what I am still waiting for my local Headway, the brain injury team even surprised on this. I telephoned my local Headway in despair 2 weeks ago, I was in tearful/angry/desperate , i put the phone down, because waiting list, but on social media highlighting how there doors are open,

[Leaf100 in reply to New_beginning]

I am not surprised there are waiting lists, and the advertising says otherwise... Especially these days , everything seems short staffed.

(Where I live over 25,000 people do not have a fam8ly rictir, yet the sytem assumes you do have one. I am one that doesn't. I went on a waiting list for a partifular office 2 years ago, and only found out by accident i was some how missed when they moved their list to a province wide one, which I found out about and joined a couple of months ago. The real point being there seems to be gaps all over the place.)

However, when you are desparate and at the end of your tether, it can sometimes seem like either you must be invisible or no one really cares... you are visible and people do care... and you are learning somethings about people that are not easy to face... it says way more about them... you, on the other hand, are in the trenches.They aren't worth it. You will find a way of dealing with it.. anyone who really matters and knows you will figure out the truth pretty fast.

Hang in there, Nb

Leaf x

[cat3 in reply to New_beginning]

Sorry to hear of this unpleasantness New_beginning. I believe Ignoring false or nasty remarks from others is the most effective way of letting them know how you feel. You can give your own, truthful, version of events without referring to theirs (or to them) and emerge by far the better person.

Keep doing the amazing job you're doing m'love and leave troublemakers to their childish mischief. You're a great wife and mum who's loved & respected here ! Cat x

[New_beginning in reply to cat3]

I feel so angry, and the worst part they told wider family members (we never bothered with anyway, prior) he just suffers from headaches and hes fine, this is there response from walking away at 9 weeks home after seeing him on life support, saying goodbye, having all the Headway information when he was still in latter PTA stage . Then to hear this on top, I cant help it but feel I'm going to do something stupid.

However on the positive note Home visits back on track and in October discussion on OT pathway as weve been working so hard accessing community (mornings only), brain injury team like how we are managing this, but out of this anger the positives remain but areas becoming more concrete with TBI conditions and follow up with consultant tomorrow, as last month discussed may have to go back to Southmead as too complex for local hospital.

Mentally and physically is no different from beginning of year or last year, just literally plodding along best I can juggling. I've recently discussed respite and carers it hasn't gone down very well. Lovely lady helped exploring other avenues, and found family respite place but discussing with Brain injury team were at least a year away getting to that point due to behaviour and developing issues. Just banging my head against the wall now. Still just me, son and toddler. Oh and to top this off my own mother actually visited at 17months first time.

I haven't retaliated yet, just blowing my steam as I feel I'm struggling to control now.

[cat3 in reply to New_beginning]

Keep letting off your steam here m'love if it helps. You know we're on your side and hate that others are undermining and upsetting you. Please do consider closing your Facebook account and cutting these people out of your life. You could do without such interference.... x

[Dogsabighelp in reply to New_beginning]

hey you,how cruel?im so sorry for you.like we dont have enough to deal with?really..chop these people out of your life they are negative and dont derserve your time.ignorance is what it is.what we are is strong(take my word for it)you have love and support here,we all care for you.much lovexxx

[New_beginning in reply to Dogsabighelp]

I've set myself a painting chore to help strategies with these emotions for rest of month, should save me out any trouble and solve my thoughts around them x

[Dogsabighelp in reply to New_beginning]

hey love i have a whole kitchen wall(needs must)its papered with many types of dogs.pretty dogfastic.whatever you can do who cares?much lovexx

[Pairofboots]

I understand x

[Leaf100]

Hi Dogsabughelp, yes you do have to advocate, docs do not know everything and do not always get it right, and some of them are just on a path that is not a fit for the situation.

Sometimes the Mom superpower energy is needed.

Take care.

[Nanapal]

Hi D, we speak privately but wanted to also comment here for others as well.

None of us ever wanted to be in the position we find ourselves in whether the brain injury survivor or their family. One thing that unites us all is we understand how difficult life has now become. We need to know as much information as possible - correct and truthful information and yes we do have the right to challenge if this isn’t the case.

D you and I find ourselves in very similar circumstances. We are our sons voices and we have to raise any concerns and make sure we get answers. We have been thrown into this unknown world and we are struggling through as best we can - but we will carry on to ensure the best care for our sons. Take care Nanapal. x

[Dogsabighelp in reply to Nanapal]

is always correct way.you have my love and support alwaysxx

[cat3]

A mother - the best force. So true D. Look after yourself. xx