Why do people take this lightly : I'm so annoyed at... - Headway

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Why do people take this lightly

debbie36a profile image
7 Replies

I'm so annoyed at my dad today.

I've really struggled these last 2 weeks been told I'm losing my job after 15 years and mark didn't process the information well. As much as I say we'll be fine with him being on a phased return to work. (We both work at same nuclear plant marks staff so they look after him. Me I've been agency so no support )

But when i told my dad all this and how awful mark had been with me. ...through total panic i think bless him....he laughed. ..im so angry he just doesn't get it no one does. Only my 2 daughters who know

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debbie36a profile image
debbie36a
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7 Replies
debbie36a profile image
debbie36a

I've felt alone for so long and i finally realise i am. I'm sorry but no one cares

steve55 profile image
steve55

debbie unless youve got a brain injury like me you cant begin to understand what its like like you my wifes wonderful, but i can be a right

debbie36a profile image
debbie36a in reply to steve55

Understand? Oh i understand

steve55 profile image
steve55 in reply to debbie36a

debbie youve miss read my post. i was reffering to other people, but how your husband and i have a brain injury and how great you are at dealing with us.

Oh Debbie, I know how you feel. Tomorrow will be a better day! Try not to worry about the job, hopefully something even better will come along. You aren't alone, come and chat to us we know how things are.

Janx

TaIaV profile image
TaIaV

Dear Debbie, I read some of your earlier posts and I see that you have been bearing such a heavy load. You clearly possess a tremendous amount of love and generosity and you are needing every bit of it. We are all alone but thank goodness most of the time we are exerting the efforts that connect us to others. Unfortunately it is just when we lack strength, that we most feel the need to be connected. So, what to do? I'll just say what I would do, in case it helps.

1. I would embrace my aloneness. Think about one or more of the good things about being disconnected. For example, you do not need to think about others or be humble. You can use this time to think about all the admirable things about yourself. And every time something you perceive as a weakness or a failing comes up, embrace that too and set it aside in a noble place. It is a sign of your humanity: We are all flawed. Thank yourself for living up to your values in the midst of all the adversity. Be grateful for your own perseverance and efforts, yes, for the same ones that are not being rewarded right now by your company or family.

2. Today someone told me of two techniques for getting emotional distance from someone who is being negative to you. I am definitely planning to use them -- maybe they will work for you too. The first one is to imagine a rose bush between you and the person. It can have flowers but make sure you imagine the thorns, since those are the things that you know will prevent that other person from actually reaching you emotionally. The second one, is to imagine them moved (or moving) physically farther away from you; in other words, by imagining more distance, you also reduce their emotional impact.

Losing the job must really be coloring everything bleak colors. There is nothing but time and positive distractions that can help that. I hope you are able to reserve some of the time that is freed up to do things that you feel really build you up -- exercising, reading interesting things, eating delicious but healthy things, perhaps getting to somewhere quiet where there is bit of Nature to observe. I do find that if I am feeling very bad and I just watch some TV show or something, I don't feel much better afterwards -- I just feel like I consumed empty mind calories.

Many people care about you. All the best.

Kirk5w7 profile image
Kirk5w7 in reply to TaIaV

So beautifully put Janetx

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