My 1st post n thanks to all posts: Hi everyone. My... - Headway

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My 1st post n thanks to all posts


Hi everyone. My dad 57 had accident at work were he just fell off step ladders but unfortunately suffered a servire brain injury and me n my family was told he would not survive and if did he would of been left with no movement or minimal no sight and nit much else obviously we was all deverstated less than 12 hours my dad woke up very briefly me n my family was again told from the proffersor that he didnt even expect my dad to awake from the 2 week coma VERY UNLIKELY was the words he used and even if he did awake we was to expect no eye vision no nothing basically my dad WOKE UP and said 2 words! My dad has now been in hospital for 4 weeks and he has started to wake up for last 2 weeks even thow this is great news me and my family are having to come to terms with my dad who cant speak or move apart from his right leg constantly jolts but he can open 1 eye and has told us with signs that he can see in his right eye. He looks like my dad but he is in MAJOR horrible way and his eyes are telling me that my old dad has gone just as if he knows too. ANYWAY THANKS TO ALL YOUR POSTS I READ IN LAST 2 WEEKS AS THEY ALL HAVE INSPIRED ME TO BE STRONG AND REAL!! Keep posting everyone as its been a LIFE LINE for me to realise there is all you guys out there being so stong in these CRAZY ! SITUATIONS life throws at us

13 Replies

It will take a long time, just be pleased with every small improvement. Keep talking to him, tell him news, play him music, etc. If he had broken his leg, you wouldn't expect him to be able to use it properly for weeks. Think how much more intricate the brain is - it is obvious that it will take much longer before you can see how he recovers. The best of luck to you all, it is such a worrying time for your family, but there is hope! He is already exceeding the doctor's expectations, in the next few weeks and months you should see signs of the 'old dad' coming back.

Thinking of you all, and sending best wishes.

Ansell1980 in reply to Hidden

Many thanks Gareth

It is very early days and the Drs will always give the worst scenario but not even they will know what the outcome will be. Anything better than they say that you might expect is then a great positive. I was in a 3 week coma and everyone was told that I not expected to survive or at best be mentally and physically handicapped. But I did! You will have to be patient and take it a day at a time. Progress will be in very small steps with some days with fluctuations up and down. Improvements will take months and most significant recovery occurs in the first 2 years but after that things can still improve but more slowly and not so significant. As your dad is only 4 weeks on from sustaining his brain injury his improvement already is encouraging.

Best wishes

Thanks for your reply i do take great pleasure that the doctors do not know how my dad will end up as then leaves an open book which at this point is better than knowing i will still stay positive and hope for an acceptable ending. more for my dad rather than me as to me it would be a privilege to take care of him but for my dad he would consider himself as a burden as thats just the kind of bloke he is. thanks for your advice and thoughts.

As you know him the best, how about picking out music he would have selected to listen to on a typical Sunday afternoon in thoughtful mode. If he has worked out how to get back by opening an eye, then its a case of giving him the support and rest he needs, to do the long haul journey. Very very quiet music favourites, may allow his brain to tune in to the familiar sounds (tunes he would have listened to more than a dozen times in the last 5 years). The familiar rhythm may help him to breathe more deeply, relax, and allow body to do the rest. Worth a go but must definitely not be loud in any way, must be almost inaudible, this will reach to his subconscious brain area. Just an idea since you say he is an independent sort of bloke, he sounds like a fighter to me. Best wishes to you and yours.

Hi Ansell1980,

Please see my reply to Kara, I think this is about the same person. If not my apologies but my answer would be identical. I'm being lazy, sorry, but find it quite exhausting to post so won't repeat myself.

Take care though and remember to look after yourself.

Janet x

Ansell1980 in reply to Kirk5w7

Thank you for your reply to kira as yes u guested correct as kira is my wife and her blog is about my dad i was happy to hear about your recovery process and i like the bit about the recovery is simular as a child learning new things as just makes sense and is a good way to think for me and my dad i wish you all the best in your last stages recovery and hope all goes to plan as sure it will as you sound like an achiever! to me pal.

It will be a long hard struggle, just keep very positive and encourage your dad to be positive too, he may never get all his old self back but let him know that he can fight and if he is positive he will get a lot better and maybe even walk again. No one can tell you what exactly will happen but I believe a good positive frame of mind can do wonders :)

Ansell1980 in reply to Michael_e

I like the word FIGHT for sure as will deffo need to be a fighter to progress with Bi.

Have a look at and her books on brain injury. I only known the one on comping with Concussion and Mild Traumatic Brain Injury. She explains how the brain works and which parts control logic, etc. It's scientific but she has case studies and chapters on the sorts of symptoms people experience. When your dad can eat properly, you could try the cookbook, Nourish Your Noggin by Tina M Sullivan who is a nutritionist which is base don Dr Diane's special diets for brain injury patients. You can get it on amazon. It's not expensive. Your dad can have dark chocolate, cocoa and lots of nice food with herbs and spices like ginger. She also has recipes for smoothies with berries and other fruits if he has any problems eating. Thai food would also fit well.

I hope your dad continues to improve.

Hi Gareth. There aren't any rules when it comes to brain injury, but one thing I can tell you is that your dad's progress so far looks promising,

Four weeks is such a short time in recovery terms so please don't jump to negative conclusions ; it can be months before the brain gets the hang of its altered state.

We have an expression here on Headway which describes us since our injury ; its 'The new me', and that's because we often struggle to make sense of the differences in our moods, behaviours, memory and abilities. So it's doubly difficult for those around us to accept those changes.

Time is everything, so there'll be a waiting game which can be frustrating and worrying, but only time can heal the damage, and your dad's brain will be struggling to heal itself and constantly searching for new pathways.

So don't be surprised if he is confused or exhausted or irritable ; there's a lot going on neurologically. And he will be confused finding himself in a hospital bed without the mental tools to work out why.

Keep up physical contact and, as others have said, talk to him as much as possible, with reassurances and everyday small talk ; your voice will be a familiar and comforting sound.

If you haven't already, you might want to phone the Headway helpline on 0808 800 2244 for printed information on Traumatic brain injury.

All my best wishes for your dad's continuing progress and to you and your family. Please keep us updated Gareth. Love Cat x

Ansell1980 in reply to cat3

Many thanks for your reply as just all sounds reassuring just wish was possible to fast forward time but time will tell

Dear Ansell1980,

First of all... Welcome, to our, Friendly Forum.

It IS, very definitely, Good News about your Dad- a LOT, of us, have 'Beaten The Odds' in this respect. Without detracting from, your obvious joy- or, in any way, dampening your enthusiasm- there ARE, one or two 'things' that you should be made aware of.

As you have already 'touched on', this man, Looks Like Dad, will hopefully Talk Like Dad, Maybe even (Smiles Like Dad.... BUT Isn't the same Dad that you used to know. Sorry but this, almost certainly, WILL be the case. New Dad, for want of a better phrase, could well be verbally (hopefully not physically) aggressive, Very Demanding, prone to (apparently random) Fits Of Rage, will probably Cry A Lot, Could be Incontinent (either or) might be sensitive to light, noise, smells....the list of possibilities is 'endless. However, with Love, Care, Patience and, above all, TIME your Dad, may well, still 'be there'.

All is NOT 'lost' Ansell1980, NOT by a long chalk.... You ARE, in for, the Long Haul though. Love, Patience and TIME are what you will need, in Spades (Actually Buckets, Kegs, Pins, Firkins, Kilderkins, Barrels, you get the idea.)

Your Collective Love, Will Find A Way.

Our Prayers are with you.


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