My son came to live with me three years ago after his relationship breakdown . He has not worked since before then and I currently support him totally financially . He had a very checquered job history concentrated in sales jobs, and the last two jobs he secured were well paid and relatively high status , but they only lasted a few months before 'redundancy'. He is articulate and personable. He has a five year old daughter who I support financially and have ensured his regular contact with . He has only recently accepted that the head injury he sustained may have had a lasting impact on him and was persuaded to seek support from Headway. For me this was like seeing a light at the end of a tunnel, meeting someone who recognised his problems and helped him to access long overdue neuropsychological and rehab support. He visited the neuropsychologist who did some basic cognitive functioning tests , that demonstrated above average functioning and encouraged mindfulness to help with his anxiety but then stopped, I think because he didn't feel he had a problem that couldn't be solved by returning to work. I feel I'm stuck in Groundhog Day as he's back to 'I'm fine' ...'I just need a job'. But the jobs he pursues are unrealistic , he won't / can't seem to
take any job and is resistant to volunteering despite advice from Headway . He depends on me emotionally and is prone to anxiety . He visits his Gp regularly and takes pregablin , seroxat, tegretol and injects growth hormone daily. My life is compromised greatly by his needs as I don't feel able to leave him for any length of time without him becoming acutely distressed and self medicating usually with alcohol. I am so frustrated at his lack of drive, his 'idleness' , his self obsession, his inability to just do anything to change the situation despite endless suggestions BUT I love him and for the most part stay patient and don't let it show ...... but nothing changes and I am getting more financially and emotionally drained. I also worry about what he would do without me .
Is tough love my only option?