Hello everyone, just Jules here,
Are you all ok (ish) ? Miss talking things through with you.
I said i would stay away for a while, but i need to ask a question.
How important is your face and your natural 'at ease' expression that people see do you think ?
Life is very odd for me at the moment, odd, boarding on frightening if i think about it too much.
Its just I keep getting big shocks when i see a passing glimpse in the bathroom mirror.
I know i have talked to you before about not recognizing the face, but recently when i have peaked a quick glance its the expression that is frightening me. Now, even when i make a conscious effort to relax my face and think of something 'happy', the reflection is of a woman who looks mean and ugly.
If its a reflection, then this must be exactly what others see and think is me.
My older sister was here last night and i studied her face as she talked to me. Her face became mine, as i remember i was before the crash.
The thing with my sisters face is odd because, i have two sisters, but this is the one that i remember never looked anything like me. completely different face. I was much more like my younger sister.
I am frightened of these odd things that happen to me, but am learning to manage how i deal mentally with it, but i feel so low that no matter how good a person i try to be, people will always see this face i have that isn't mine. I know how mixed up that sounds.
I 'tested' the situation with my older sister by stating that my face has changed - to which she agreed but said its deep down what really matters - so that confirmed it to me that there has been a big change in 'me' visually.
I suppose the question is then, if i am stuck with this picture of another woman on my face how much do people use the face to assess what sort of person you are, or how you are feeling/reacting to them ?
Does anyone experience a similar thing - i think i remember a couple of years ago someone did say they experienced the same, but i cant remember who it was (on this site).
Much love to everyone here.
So sorry for my long letter.