Bucket List

Hello everyone, Jules here,

Everyday something reminds me of something I thought I would eventually do (but now cant) and that's sad.

But I realised that's a bit like a bucket list and I hadn't thought about things I want to experience before I leave this life, I mean I hadn't thought about it all since the accident.

I am thinking, well my 'bucket list will have been changed then. Odd thing is I am sitting here and cant think of anything remarkable, or anything I am passionate about that I want to put on my new list.

I can thin of some things, but they are just 'things I need to do' ordinary things. Nothing exceptional. A bucket list should be exceptional things shouldn't it ? Things you aspire to do before you demise ?

Does anyone else have a bucket list and is it different to the one you had prior to your Bi ?

Kind regards



PS, I made a quiche by myself and my husband ate some of it.... so pleased !

35 Replies

  • Hi Jules, never had a bucket list. I'd hate to be disappointed that I couldn't achieve those things. So I'm just going to continue striving to do whatever I can and enjoy those things.

    There's places I'd like to visit but it doesn't matter if I don't get there. I'm learning to just be and enjoy the here and now X

    Love Janet x

  • Evening Janet

    I wanted to act like David Attenborough in Botswana. I had visited many other places that interested me before the accident, so it doesn't matter anymore, travel bug is out of my system.

    This is not said being morbid, its interesting: I was told once that the most common thing people wish they had done, when they are about to pass away, is 'I wish i had taken more risks'.

    I dont take risks these days (although thinking about it I am pondering.



  • Good evening Jules, never mind, something will come to mind. I don't know about a bucket list, where I'm coming from it's more basket case. Not as bad as late now I'm taking a new antidepressant tablet. I must say, I haven't had quiche since 9 years now. Just beans on toast or anything else easy and quick to do. Even though I've had 2 brain haemorrhages and 2 TIAs I can always find things to talk about. Cheer up moan at the hubby cos of the quiche. G'night x

  • Nite Davee


  • A bucket list can be anything you want it to be. Simple thIngs included. Sometimes the simple things bring the most happiness. X

  • hi yojo

    i suppose happiness is what makes things worth doing.

    it feels kind of selfish to list only things that would make me happy thou.



  • That's the point of a bucket list. It's your list and for you only. Nothing selfish in including the things that make you happy ☺️.

  • should it all be about what makes me happy, or should it be with things about something else. like something you know isnt nice but maybe should be done ?

    I am really interested in a new list for me, the O/T gets me to try and run my days with kind of agenda, we call it an 'activities list'. it also lets him and me actually see what i am spending most time on/doing.

    Whats the difference between this and a Bucket List when you get frustrated with none achievement with daily Activity schedules Yojo ?

    PS: Are you 'Yojo' or YoYo ? Might be wrong sorry, What does Yojo/Yoyo stand for/mean ?

    So many questions!

    Dont reply if you dont want to, great chatting anyway -thank you



  • Hi Jules

    The way I see is it is it's all about you. Include what you'd like to do! It's your list you can swap and change when ever you want.

    A bucket list is normally a list you have of things you want do in your life time.

    Yojo! X

  • But if its all just about ME is there a point in doing it ? If i dont do these things then the only person it will affect is me. So nothing changes will it ?

    My husband has just joined in on the conversation and said that maybe if you dont have a Bucket List (or cant think of anything to put on it) then maybe its because you dont need one because you are happy with life .... mmmm dont know about that.


  • Yes you're a special person and if you want to do it go for it. If you don't that's fine too 😉

  • Hi Jules, excuse me whilst I jump in on this debate. The way I see it is that a bucket list is a wish list of things to do before one falls off their perch, so to speak. I do not have a bucket list as this would cause unnecessary anxiety for myself thinking that I must do this or that. In the cold light of day, I know that I cannot travel alone or further my studies. That's ok with me as I have learned to accept that is the way it is. Sounds like you OT is encouraging your days to be 'structured' with doing activities for you, that provide positive meaning to your day. This is short term goal planing. Bucket lists are for medium to long term goals. Jules, I hope this makes sense. Personally, I like to just be. That can be simply me, looking up at the clouds and admiring the shapes, shades and of course the silver lining.

    Claire xx

  • Hi Clara

    But if i cant add the short term plans (daily) i dont have anything for the list.... thats it. Thats why I cant fill it. Thank you, at least i understand that.



  • No worries Jules. I get what you're saying. By the way, did your hubby enjoy your quiche?

  • He liked the way it looked but i noticed most of its still in the fridge as we speak. And he normally eats like a pig !

    The dog will be happy tonight then i think !



  • That is hilarious! I am sure your doggy will love your quiche and you all the more, for baking it.🐶

  • Hmm. I never had a written list but there were things that I was always going to get around to doing which are just not viable now. My PADI course for example. Travel in South America was another.

    Post stroke is about more achievable goals. And I am now finding 6 years on that they are starting to happen. I never thought I would ride again but have bought a bike this summer. I don't know what your level of recovery or impairment is like in order to think about suggestions but as far as remarkable is concerned - it's remarkable I can walk at all! Does that mindset work in your situation?

    Machu Picchu might be off the list now but maybe Snowden could be added. First however, Dunstable downs have to mastered! :)

    I have also finally accepted that some of this might mean being supported, before, I could, and would, have done it alone. That's certainly not going to happen now.

    That's how it works, post stroke for me. X

  • Hello there Dizzy, jules here,

    Do you ride a bike, a motorcycle ?

    I understand what you are saying about the word 'remarkable achievement that you can even walk' and yes i dont take it for granted that i am still around now. But, these things are things that we strived for in the PAST. I did the same, it was the only thing i thought of.

    But, i have mastered walking and my brain still ticks - I cannot accept thats it for me.

    Should i do you think ? Must I ?

    Kind regards



  • Nope, you needn't and you shouldn't.

    it's about realistic goals. If possible strive for the next thing. I have a hybrid cycle and can now pleasure ride with my child. Challenge yourself to the extent that something else then becomes a realistic goal.

    Balance is hard work for me but given you are in a harness, I completed this over the summer


    It's all about step by step, small not seemingly exciting things first become bigger and bigger.

    Strength, fitness and being as good as you can at what you can currently do WILL bring about progress and improvement. It takes time and commitment though, I didn't realise how much I would have to keep at it. Which kinda sucks, but the alternative of losing mobility and agility sucks more so, heh ho.

    Some recognition of the effort it takes to remain functional by the DWP would go a long frikkin way though!!!!

    I must say, having my 7 year old does give me opportunity. Taking him out to adventure playgrounds, water slides etc etc has brought me on massively. I would recommend finding a way to challenge yourself.

    C x

  • There are very few things on my bucket list and I have done most of them since my bi.

    It's strange though I do take more risks now than I did before.

    Telling my family I love them and making a crochet blanket for each of them(still in progress)

    Hot air balloon ride .......this was followed by a bad week thanks to a dodgy landing but the memories of being aloft still feel wonderful.

    The Falkirk wheel was even more amazing than it looked and the play areas fabulous. (Hey who cares what other people think of a fifty something year old woman playing with an Archimedes screw!!!☺🙆😋

    Something that is ongoing is (hopefully ) being useful/helpful here on the forum and a little bit of voluntary work.

    The balloon ride was planned before bi but happened about 18months later. The Falkirk wheel was a bee in my bonnet that wouldn't go away until I dealt with it.

    My idea of a bucket list is making shared memories and hopefully leaving the world a slightly better place than it was before.

    Love n hugs


  • Hello again Random,

    You say you have done nearly all the things on your bucket list.... what happens when its done ?

    Do we stop adding things ? Its odd in itself because i havet added anything since the accident. I know that there are some physical things i couldnt do now, but it doesnt have to be about how agile you are does it. Saying that i cant think of anything.

    I am going to have to ponder this - I cant get my head around at what stage it stops being a daily item from the 'Activities Schedule' to, Bucket List.

    Maaybe its about pride, maybe they are things that i would be proud i have done when i am popping my wooden clogs !

    What do you think ?



  • As you can see Jules the things on my bucket list are either things that need to be planned.

    Like the balloon trip or the Falkirk wheel.

    Or they are things that I hope make a little difference like the forum or my 2 hours a week of voluntary work. These are included in my timetable to remind me. My timetable or activities list is now on it's umpteenth incarnation.

    My bi was such a shock but finally dealing with mortality and getting a will written really helped me and allowed me to think beyond the daily chores.

    I still struggle to get back to my normal after even a weekend away but the break from the routine charges my batteries for months.

    Love n hugs


  • Hello Random

    Forgot to say, you wrote that your activities list is in its umpteenth incarnation... that gave me such a giggle, i really thought i was the only one that kept doing this so so many times i have updated it !!!


  • I'm not sure about lists...maybe better to follow your heart, although it's useful to note stuff down.

    I think I went crazy after my head injury and did stuff that only now I'm thinking about! The idea was that if I was to die or kill myself it's better to do what I want first!

    I don't think my parents understand what I did in relation to the thought process I just mentioned.

    Nonetheless I'm back in the UK again and getting restless...I'm thinking mainstream life isn't for me.

    This is a fitting nice song...I just used Shazam to discover Something New (Robin Schulz Remix) by Axwell Λ Ingrosso. shz.am/t224697988


  • Hello Luke B, Jules here,

    I seem to have done the same to some degree. Didnt add and do things (like from a Bucket List), but after the crash i did things that i am only recently (6 years later) remembering and understanding. Some things i am pleased i did, others i would deny !

    Everytime i hear a bike go past outside my heart goes with it and i drift for a few moments back into who i was. But i will probably not ride now.

    I dont want my List to have any items on it related to the crash, they are for the Daily List. Just looking for 2 or 3 magical things for the old Bucket List. Head is full.



  • Hi'

    I agree with all the other replies......things you hope to do while you still can. Well I don't know what's happened to my bucket list.......it seems to have been mislaid. Pre bi I had hopes and plans and places I wanted to go and thugs I wanted to do. I've now been off work for a year and what have I done? Nothing. Projects started pre accident are left undone. Motivation to do anything at all has gone out the window. Tasks I've accomplished (apart from overcoming medical issues), could probably be counted on one hand. Hobbies have all disappeared.......and the worst thing is I don't actually seem to mind, it doesn't really bother me, although I think it's a bit sad.

    The upside of the missing bucket list is that the house is looking tidy and clean, so perhaps my bucket list is still up and running, just with different things on it.......clean the windows, clean the wheelie bin, clean the top of the kitchen cupboards, sort out stuff for the charity shop. Not as exciting as Sidney Harbour Bridge but achievable. Every cloud has a silver lining.

    P.S. If anyone finds my old bucket list....please send it back to me. :)

  • I have no real bucket list, because it's so uncertain what the future holds. But I do have a list of things to do, watch and visit in case I ever get better.


  • Hello again Nightbird,

    I guess then trying to write a real bucket list is quite difficult because it seems to me it is actually a clarification of why we are still here ?

    What do you think ?

    I would be interested to know what sort of things you have on your 'not bucket list, but' ...



  • Well, true to form, I've lost the actual list I made :) . But there's a hard drive full of music I'm just slowly sifting through. My mind is fatigued by loud rock-type music and distracted by lyrics, so I'm listening mainly to chillout. There's a label called Ektoplazm which publishes free, legal ambient and downtempo music which is brilliant for relaxation (they do other stuff too). So when I improve, there's lots of crazy rock and party music to get back into. I'll be interested to research the scenes and movements I've missed - in fact, their belated discovery might be a good subject for a blog. "2005 Woman Discovers The Lost Decade" or something.

    I have trouble with TV and film viewing too - a combination of double vision, "can't keep things straight in my head", and lack of time for entertainment. So there's a billion films and series from the past ten years I've missed. They range from sci-fi to arthouse to various BBC costume dramas. I also have huge bookshelves (virtual and real) full of unread stuff. Sci-fi again, literary fiction, popular science/psychology and some melodramatic romance just for kicks. A lot of my friends are writers and I haven't even got around to reading their books yet!

    As for travel, I'm planning to emigrate to Mexico with my fiance when we can afford it. No idea when that is. I'd like to do a little backpacking too. I'm not bothered about "seeing the attractions" - it seems too much like box-ticking - but exploring the hidden gems and culture of various countries would be good. Iceland does appeal to me.

    Random experiences I want to try (or do more of): Clubbing, especially forest festivals/raves in the middle of Europe. A stay in an Ice Hotel. Lots of music gigs. Write and record an album. Write more books (not just a memoir, but actual substantial things with plots). Learn some more sophisticated cooking techniques, as food is one of the few pleasures I've managed to maintain. Perhaps a scuba- or skydive.

    Perhaps I'll remake "the list" when there's a spare few hours on my plate :) . For me, the list doesn't produce guilt. It's an expression of confidence that it's not impossible to get better.


  • Yyeeeaaaahhhhh you cooked and still got a cooker, go girl. Bucket lists will be sooo diff now. That should of been on it. It's only a little one for you but it should be a massive one. You still have a cooker 🤗 .

    I never had one and I don't now really. My bucket list as such was walking, talking ect. I would like to go in a helicopter cause I don't remember going in one that night but that's it really. I don't set goals that are stupid, although the ones set were impossible at the time. If you can't achieve the ones you have set can you work round it so you can still do it but just different. Maybe we can all one up with some ideas to help you if you want to say what's on the list. If you really can't do them will you be open to change but on a similar pattern xx

  • Hello Candice,

    Yyhahh yessss i did make a quiche (and he ate some). It looked just like a quiche too. Half way through when making it i started to panic because there was a number of things needing to be done in the right order (as far as the recipe was concerned). My husband helped a little then i put it in the oven. I have no idea why it worked because to be truthful, i started well, but when i panicked everything went a miss and i loaded guess work into the bowl and poured over the pastry case. Made my own pasty thou. That was easy and fun actually. I will try again, but something with pastry again.

    Its odd that i started to try and cook again as i am still not eating. Its been months now. I drink a lot of milk and that must be what keeps my body going.

    The problem with my Bucket List planning Candice is i really cant think of anything worthy of putting on at the moment and my head is finding it difficult knowing where the end point is for what is a Daily Task to what is a Bucket list item.

    The quiche cants go on because most normal women (and some men) cook, so i count that as a Daily Activity canndidate.

    Am I wrong there ?



  • Hi Jules,

    I, like you, before my B.I. Never Gave it a Serious thought, Things I Would Like To Do.

    18 months after my DAY, I Decided to do a Tandem Sky Five to Thank the Brilliant Medical Team at HULL Royal Infirmary for Saving my Life, Enabling me to undertake the Sky Dive.

    IRONICALLY, I was contacted by the Local evening newspaper as they were writing an Article about Sharon Stone and Her experience of her SAH. And they wanted to talk to someone locally who had experienced the same. THAT's Where Yours Truly Stepped In.

    I Had a FANTASTIC TIME. It was AMAZING. NOT At ALL As Frightening As I envisaged it might have been, considering I am scared of heights.

    I Was in a "High" (Pardon the Pun) for weeks.

    I HIGHLY (Another Unintended Pun) RECCOMMEND IT!

    It triggered off the search to find Something to EQUAL the experience.

    I Have since had a Helicopter Flight, enjoyed it BUT Didn't Compare.

    OBVIOUSLY With a poor short term memory so felt my options were very limited. How WRONG I Was.

    This June, I had a 4 SUPERCAR Driving Experience coutesy of my Son and girlfriend.

    I got to drive a Ferrari (wasn't impressed); A Lamboughini That was Good to Drive and I wondered Which car was going to be nicer to drive.

    The next car was a Skyline GTR. The ULTIMATE Rich Boys Toy. I reached 200 mph. I was waiting for the car to take off like a small plane. It was THAT Fast. With my "Warped" sense of humour, I pondered mentioning I Actually Have a Short Term Memory problem HHMMMM. Decided to keep it to myself.

    I finished in an ATOM Ariel which is like an old style racing car BUT My Mind has been blown away by the Skyline.

    I am planning a Tandem microlite flight next. It's Bonkers really, I Doubt I would have done any of the above If it wasn't for being Off Work, being deemed "Unemployable" due to my permanent memory deficit - Up Yours DWP!

    My Long Winded Point Julie is GO For It! YOU WON'T REGRET IT!

    Good Luck and ENJOY! 😊🌞

  • Sky DIVE!

  • Thats amazing ! You've got that Adrenalin Bug you are supposed to get, like when people do the free fall of the tallest building/mountain they can find. They say they do it for the adrenalin rush ! (no free falling tho please !).

    I went in a helicopter when i was a young girl, the pilot started to show off doing sudden falls and tips, i was screaming in fear on the floor in the back (there were no doors and the straps were thin and worn. Funny thing is my mum was up front with the pilot (flirting) and she giggled all the way through, more at me than the flight i think.

    Wont be going on my list thats for sure.

  • Ooops I Forgot to Include my early morning Hot Air Balloon ride!

    LIFE IS TOO SHORT And We Can ALL Vouch For How Quickly "Normality" Can Be Taken Away!

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