hi all x

just thought I would give you a update scott refused to return to the hospital to get checked out :{ so am now busy trying to find full time work so we have a income coming in .he is not taking so many painkillers now and his breathing appears better ,however his communication skills with me are a real eye opener.i find myself low in mood . but it is what it is x

14 Replies

  • Hi, I have been a nightmare for my parents, husband and friends after BI. As far as I understood your husband is at home around just few weeks. He probably needs to figure things out for himself. I know it sounds upseting and I know you are trying to do your best, but maybe you need to let him be. I know it is hard. I dont know how it is to care for someone with BI, because I was the one who had it, but I know how frustrating and depressing first weeks and months can be. Maybe try to look for a therapist who can help you and your husband to set some rules for communication? There is also a headway helpline and people there are always very helpfull. And of course you have "us" here, who can always support you by kind words. Im really sorry you have to go through that, your husband is fighting his battle the best he can and finelly he will understand you are there to help. But this may take time, unfortunately.

    It took me a while to understand my life will not be the same, Im still struggling with that a lot, but the few days after I left the hospital I thought Im just great. That I can do anything I want and that I dont need anyone. I just needed time to see what I can or cannot do and how this affects me. Im still learning that after 1,5 yrs. You did great to join this forum, people here are amazing! Hope you will be able to find yourself in new reality. And if you have any questions at all, dont hesitate to ask.


  • thank you for your kind words.but like I said he carnt get any help as he refuses to go back to the hospital the doctor will not even give him a sick note .so he carnt claim any benfit as they see him as fit for work:{ so am running round trying to find work . I know he is recovering but it is the horrible things he tells me :{ this is not good when you are hearing him say these horrid things to you day in day out. his actions has left us in a awfull postion

  • Hi - can YOU ask the doctors to give him sicknote based on BI ? And ask them to be referred to community neuro rehab team - think you could ask for that yourself .... ?

    Good luck :-)

  • Give it time Irishrose give it time. This mood will pass and things will get better. Nick Xx

  • Time will not put food on the table and pay rent or bills

  • I can't imagine what it must be like to be on the other side of the BI ( although I do know it was not an easy ride for my husband back then) but I can really sense your frustration and pain at what is happening to you... because although your husband is the one with the injury, this is happening to you too and its horrible and frustrating and unfair and all of those things and more.... and there is so little you can do about it... and yet you are still expected to get on with life as normal and still deal with the horrible way everything has changed...

    But the one thing you really need to do is take care of you in all of this. If your husband won't speak to the doctor or to Headway or to anyone else for that matter does not mean that you can't seek help and support for yourself . There should be a carers support team or group in your area and that maybe a starting point.

    It is true what they say that you cannot pour from an empty jug so please make sure that you care for and nourish yourself... your body, mind and spirit, because that will help you to handle the curve ball life threw your way.

    Take care... things will get better.

  • True.

  • Hi Susan,

    Did you manage to get Scott to GP's or did he refuse to go ? Why is GP witholding sicknote ? ( I wasn't aware they could do this ) There must be a way round this.


    Did you ring Headway ?

    Angela x

  • No but doctor said he not given him one till he sees him

  • Invite doctor to yours to see for himself ? - just that medics must know that people with BI have many issues and maybe that way round would work better ?

  • Susan, please ring Headway today, before the helpline closes for the weekend. They can help in so many ways.

    The number is 0808 800 2244 --- 9am-5pm Mon-Fri. The calls are free.


  • susan contact social services they can put any aids in place that maybe required plus there the benefits your husband will be entitled to.

    my advice to you dont work , not for the moment.


  • Get advice Susan. Remploy were great.

    Not everyone is entitled to benefits Steve ( I wasn't)....

  • Oh, just another thought....assuming that you are in uk ?? Contact remploy.....gov agency set up to help disabled people and those newly disabled (as with b I )get or stay in work. Get them in to see you both asap....they were with me within 48 hours of my call to them ...and knew more about my illness and effects than I did. Also did a great job at talking to my then employers.....phone them tomorrow if possible :-)

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