Update!

Well it's been weeks since I first joined and posted on this site.

My husband was hit by a car as he cycled home & was in a coma ( medical 2 wks, his own a further 3 wks). He has woken now & I have seen glimpses of the man I thought I'd lost.

He has been moved to Lincoln Hospital & can answer Yes/No, moves a lot despite spinal injuries and leg frame etc, & we're waiting for a bed on the Neuro Rehab ward. I am starting back at work for a few days/week soon as I need an outlet other than hospital now I feel more positive.

There are definitely BI issues, frustration as he can't make his words come out in any audible way if saying more than Y/N or a swear word! His memory is shot! I hope he will continue to improve as were now 7 weeks on, so I'd guess this is just the start of his recovery. I do hope so although I know it's going to be a difficult uphill journey . Thankyou for reading ! Karen x

17 Replies

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  • That's fantastic. I'm sure you'll continue to see improvements.

    I still get majorly frustrated when I'm tired and I have trouble saying what I want too, but I pause and take deep breaths, it helps. My finer motor skills are iffy at times too, I drop things etc, even the knitting needles half way through a row, but I've knitted some beautiful things with perseverance.

    When he's ready and able, you must keep his mind stimulated so jigsaws, his favourite music or talking books. I had to use the practice sheets that children use in primary school to train me to write again, but when it came back my writing was just like it used to be, signature and all!!

    It's onwards and upwards for you both now, patience being the watchword. Well done xxxxxx Janet

  • Thanks Janet. I know I just want it all & want it now! I'm learning patience...!!! 👍

  • That was my hardest lesson, but when you are lying in a hospital bed unable even to feed yourself, it makes it a little easier.

    I was lucky once moved to rehab, I came on in leaps and bounds, I never realised how hard it was to walk, and I tipped my soup down myself more than once at the dinner table, my fellow " inmates" as I used to call them would rib me by calling for an apron each time I joined them 😀. It was a strangely comforting experience that I can look back on fondly now.

    Take as much as you can from this, I used to liken myself to a child learning everything as a child would, but quicker because the pathways are there they just need reconnecting and it takes the brain a while to find those new pathways.

    So, practice too and repetition, like children do, I was like a dog with two tails when I found I could still catch a ball!!! The small things that please!

    You'll be fine xxxx Janet x

  • You will need patience in buckets loads, that and somewhere to scream without him hearing when your patience has run out but you will get there. X

  • Good news and you are doing the right thing going back to work part time, it's not good staying in the hospital continually. Things will take time, I was told my husband would never talk again, 48 hrs later he started, no stopping him now. He still gets words wrong and I try not to correct him and we have loads of laughs together over the words he uses on occasion.

    I was also told he would be unlikely to walk or use his right arm again! Three years on and he can walk, slower than before, stumbling when fatigued, and concentrating on every step. He can also use his right arm, though not for lifting or fine motor skills.

    I lot depends on a persons determination I think, he was not going to be pushed in a wheelchair by me after our first walk! And he now cooks as got fed up with my limited menu of five different meals on rotation!

    Laughter, letting him try and looking for gadgets to help rather than wait totally for professionals I think have contributed to his recovery. That and accepting that he won't be the same as before his acquired brain injury, thou this he forgets frequently!

    Hugs. Xx

  • Hi Karen. It's looking promising isn't it, and rehab is where all the visible progress really steps up. And with work as an alternating environment, you'll probably notice that progress even more.

    Be prepared for spurts of progress amid periods of nothingness. It seems to be the norm for brain injury.

    My nearest & dearest often recount how painfully slow I seemed to recover but other, less frequent visitors, noticed improvements quite markedly.

    Please keep the good news coming ! Cat x

  • Thanks Cat. Only today he seems like a different person. Trying and doing better can understand at least 3/4 of his words as a sentence. Being cheeky too - asked for a cuppa tea and said he's gagging for a brew. Wonderful day- it's like an overnight change! Nose feed tube coming out tomorrow and put directly into tummy to free up his face completely of tubes. X

  • These are such promising signs aren't they. If he's managed a few words that's a really big deal 'cause it means there are more to come, along with the ability to vocalise his needs/feelings.

    When my ex-husband was bedridden, we constantly 'prayed' he would speak, but it didn't happen. So although we talked to him constantly and he nodded or shook his head, we never knew how much he really understood.

    I'm so, so pleased to see this brilliant news KNSJ. Keep it coming !! Cat xx

  • I know that I am always harping on about this in the forums but as your husband was hit by a car (hopefully insured) then you need to start the litigation process as soon as possible. This will give you access to funds that can greatly speed up his recovery and improve both your lives in the long run. Make sure you contact headway and they will have a list of recommended solicitors who specialise in brain injury cases. As I tell everyone if I had gone through the NHS system I would probably be dead by now the weird ideas and incompetencies some of the physicians had. Four years later due to the best most expensive help I am unrecognisable from the guy in the hospital bed. Sorry forgot to mention I was hit by a car on my bike on the way to work.

  • Hi. Luckily driver details obtained. Can't consider compensation yet as police investigation still in process and until a decision is made or it goes to court, police won't release the initial police report. So we have to wait ....!

  • You don't have to wait to get your solicitor in place, it can take up to ten years to settle a case and the sooner you get the ball rolling the better. I was lucky as the driver who knocked me off was mortified and when the police suggested he take full responsibility he was happy to as he knew it would help me. You can get interim payments from his insurance company which can pay for care, rehab and let's face it mortgages whilst the case is waiting to be settled, mine took four looooong years. It's quite amusing as when woke up from my coma I figured I'd get twenty grand and be back in work in six weeks or so. If only I'd known lol.

  • Hmmm. Will get back into my solicitor and enquire. Did the police do a formal investigation for your incident, was the guy charged at all? ....!

  • Due care and attention. I think it all depends on if they accept liability or not. The police officers dealing with my case actually explained to the guy how it would be better for me and him if he accepted liability, one so that it would make my claim easier, but also because I think if he hadn't accepted it he would have possibly ended up with a much harder punishment if later he would have been found liable. Is your solicitor a headway recommended one? If not change now (it's a very simple thing to do) otherwise it will cost you dearly in the long run. A headway recommended solicitor apart from being an expert in this particular field will also be aware of the strange nature of head injury patients and their..ahem..idiosyncrasies, like me yelling at them repeatedly. Normal solicitors and barristers tend to get fleeced by the expertise of the insurance companies and it can cost you hundreds of thousands of pounds in the final settlement. If you have any questions about the process please do not hesitate to message me direct. Information on what will happen is very sparse on the net and nobody seems to want to talk about it. What were the circumstances of your husbands accident? I was side swiped by a car on a roundabout at six in the morning.

  • AWESOME! plus i bealive that if hospitails stopped serving tea the N.H.,S would come come to a grinding halt! fab news! keep going and keep us updated hugs hugs

  • Hi Karen, great to see you back and with such positive news too! Onwards upwards and with positive thought and prayers behind you both every step of the way.

  • Many thanks. Police side only likely to be able to pursue Driving without due care..😞

  • Welcome!

    Just remember, it is early days, yet. I fell off my bike (thankfully, *with* a helmet on) in July 2005. I first went home overnight at Christmas, but I was in the hospital (well, rehab clinic by then) most of the time for a couple more months, and I was off work for a total of 18 months. I am still 'disabled' - my eyesight is buggered, I have awful co-ordination, and I am missing a couple of years of memory. But hey, I figure I'm lucky to be alive!

    7 weeks after my accident, I was certainly still in a right state. At Christmas (5 months), my husband took me and our young daughter out to a pantomime. He had booked a disabled seat, as I was in a wheelchair when he booked it, but by the actual show, I was too proud to sit in it. "I can walk, now. Look!"

    We have a photo of signs I used to have in my hospital room: "Pam is able to communicate by blinking, once for 'yes' and twice for 'no'. THIS CAN BE VARIABLE. Speak clearly to Pam and make eye contact. Ask her to participate in things like washing & dressing..."

    For a good 6 months or so, my speech was horribly blurry. It's still not as clear as it used to be, but hey, I have gone back to my job as a university lecturer, so it can't be that bad!

    Improvement is slow, but it *will* happen, so long as you try, I think. Don't give up, and make sure he doesn't give up. It takes time, but he *can* get there!

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