My 14 yr old Daughter in Coma after R.T.A (Road Traffic Accident)

Hi

I'm new & my name is Laura

My 14 yr old daughter Amy was knocked down 3 days ago, on Thursday, whilst playing outside with some of her friends who are younger than her & I & the dad of her friends witness the accident.

My daughter Amy remains in a critical condition in a deep coma, not medically induced. She suffered a fractured skull, severe brain injuries, spinal injuries & a fractured leg. The medical staff looking after her have been a excellent support so far.

Any advise welcome.

Thank you

Laura

18 Replies

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  • Hello Laura

    Please know that we are all thinking of you and all your family.

    The best advice I can give is ring the Headway helpline tomorrow. The details are in a pinned post on this page.

    Remember to take care of yourself especially now while your daughter is in hospital.

    Keep a diary of any developments.

    Love n hugs

    Xoxoxoxoxoxxoxooxxoxoxxoxoxxoxoxoxoxox

  • Oh Laura, how we all feel for you. I remember when my husband was in a coma, how helpless I felt. Do look after yourself, you will need all your strength in the days to come. Lots of love and best wishes to you and your family. Stay strong!

    Jan

  • Hi there Laura,

    I'm so sorry to hear your news, my heart goes out to you. Try as hard as it is to be strong and as positive as you can! Remember to take care of yourself or you'll not be any good to anyone. Please feel free to let all your feelings out on here as everyone is so lovely and will help and support you as much as they can. I don't think any of us have any secrets in here anymore, we are all very open and we share our stories with one another and offer comfort to each other! We really are a friendly bunch! Ask the staff at the hospital any questions you may have and never think a question seems silly, it's their job to help and it's best to be open and honest with them. I'll be thinking of you and wishing Amy well. Best wishes, take care. xx

  • Hi Laura,

    My prayers are with you and your daughter and family as said call the headway helpline and have a chat with them. You are in the right place though for help and general advice. God bless. Nick xx

  • Oh no, that must be hell. I really hope things go OK. At this stage, you can't really know how it will go. Fingers crossed. I spent a few weeks in a coma, and I came out of it OK-ish (eventually went back to a good job, etc.).

  • Laura, I'm sorry to hear about your daughter's accident. I hope my history can give you some hope. Aged 16 I was knocked down delivering newspapers for my foster parents' shop. I was in a coma for 18 days and sustained severe middle brain damage. The doctors said that after 18 months I might be able to go back to school, but didn't hold out much hope of me doing my A levels. However after 6 months I was back at school and though I only got one A level no one had expected even that. I went on to Teachers Training college (where I met my husband to be) and after 2 years in teaching became a mother. After 10 more years I returned to work, as a Civil Servant. I continued in that job for 23 years and am now retired. My balance is still not good and I have arthritis (partly due to my hospital stay). However I have two beautiful and intelligent daughters and (from my married daughter) also a grandson and granddaughter. I'm sure that Amy will recover as well as I did from my accident 47 years ago ... partly because medicine and hospitals are much more advanced now. My prayers and thoughts are with you, your family and Amy. Her recovery may be slow at times and there may be set backs ... but together I'm sure that you, your family, friends and the medical profession will succeed in helping Amy towards a bright future.

  • Just hold her hand and talk to her. Tell her you love her, tell her about the weather what you are doing or have done, how her friends are, anything and everything. Read her a favourite book?

    Look after your self. Remember to eat and get some sleep. You need your strength later.

    I wish I could give you more but there is no more advice to give.

    My thoughts are with you as you start your B.I. Journey.

    Pop back whenever you want or feel you need to. Lots of folk can give you perspective of the befuddled brain and there are others who can give you their experienced of caring for someone.

  • Laura, what a nightmare you must be living through right now ; I am so sorry.

    But I've lost count of how many folk on Headway have come through coma, and at a much more advanced age. Your daughter Amy has youth on her side-------such a massive recovery aid !

    No one can ease your pain and anxiety but please know that I, and others here, are willing the best possible outcome for your dear daughter.

    I hope you will see positive signs very soon, and remember that coma is the brain's way of protecting itself whilst its healing takes place, minute by minute.

    Sincere best wishes for good news really soon. Cat x

  • Laura

    I am so sorry to hear this awful news. My heart goes out to you, my son had a cardiac arrest last year and was in hospital for 3 months. I know how difficult this time is. Remember to look after yourself, stay strong the body is a marvellous thing and can amaze doctors as my son did. Headway can help, call. All the best and thinking of you all.xx

  • Hi and welcome, sorry it's under these circumstances.

    Just be there, emotionally and physically. ALL interaction can only help. Keep us in the loop wont you. Sending all of my very best wishes

    Baron/Andy

  • Hi Amy

    It's very early days yet. I had what they called a Diffuse Axonal Injury, and I must say its take me a few years to get better. Most of my recovery was in the first six months, and then it's been very slowly, getting better.

    All brain injuries are different, and have so many compartments, so progress can be like asking someone - how long is a piece of string?

    I wish you all the best of luck. Please do not hesitate to write on this site.

    If you can find a Headway, they have Support Groups, which are invaluable!

    God bless!

    Debs

  • Omg, how horrid. This has disturbed me. My body was in the same state after a car crash and so was my brain. I really am so so so sorry. Glad you have come here to us. We will help, give you hope and help you through it if we can. I was in a coma for 2 months. When they came to turn my life support off everyone had been told and my 13 then year old child suffered. As it happened I moved minutes just before. I don't think I should say too much more however I am here with the entire truth if you need questions answered. I have been where your daughter is, my mum , dad and family have been where you are. This really upsets me, I really wish you all the very best, hope and strong love xxx

  • Dear Laura,

    Hold Amy`s hand and talk to her, keep a note book of thoughts, feeling, changes, and messages from people, we put earphones on my son and played him the play list on his phone for a few hours at a time when he was in a coma. but the best bit of advise I got given was to take it one day at a time, just get through today then do the same tomorrow. you are now on the roller coaster no one knows how long it will last or where it will take you, Take breaks, get some fresh air, get a cuppa and look after yourself, Amy is young and that is on her side. sending very best wishes to you, Amy and your family x

  • Hi :) I'm so sorry to read about your daughter. Everyone has already posted great advice above, so I'll just add 'welcome to the group' , and from one parent to another......wishing you all the strength you need to cope with such an unimaginable situation. x

  • So sorry you find yourself here under such traumatic circumstances but welcome.

    I don't have experience of coma but I did spend two months in with my five year old following major open heart surgery and life threatening complications.

    The advice to take care of yourself is very important. About a month in I got really quite poorly and trying to deal with everything became overwhelming. Let family and friends support you. Practically and emotionally. You will need to maintain strength for weeks and months. I don't know wher you're staying but I found it got harder practically once out of ICU and on recovery wards. If you are staying in with her then having a small team of folks looking after your everyday needs is of great help. I hope you are closer to home than we were.

    Keep a diary/record of what is happening. It will be helpful for Amy to understand what's happened to her and useful for you as a record of what has been done, how meds affect her etc etc. Progress records are very useful for recovery from stroke and brain injury. Particularly when progress seems to platue or regress.

    Unfortunately you're going to have to wait and see what happens. Many have come through major accidents and lived to tell the tale quite successfully. She's young and strong and all you can really do at this stage is will her to fight through this critical period and be ready to help her mentally and phsically when she wakes.

    Do call the helpline, I'm sure they will have more detailed advice.

  • Hi Laura, I'm so sorry to hear your news, I have a partner who was in a coma after an accident but can not begin to imagine how I would of dealt with it if it had been one of our teenage daughters.

    Take one day at a time, in the early days no one can tell you how things are going to turn out, unfortunately everyone's brain heals if different ways.

    I found keeping a diary of everyday helped, write down how you were feeling, what your daughter responded too and how she was progressing and all the things the Dr's and nurses said. It helped me deal with things and now 4 years on I read them back and don't recognise that person that was writing and if I hadn't written it down I wouldn't of remembered a lot of the things that happened. Hopefully once your daughter is better she can read it and it will give her some insight into what was happening.

    Make sure you look after yourself, if you crumble all around you will too, it took me a while to realise that. Sendinghugs.

    Sharon x

  • Hi Laura. My heart goes out to you. These very early days are excruciatingly difficult and exhausting. She is in safe hands ... But , as her mum, you will naturally want to keep an eye on absolutely everything that is being done for her. On the one hand, this is very important and you will find that you will eventually know what she needs, far better than anyone else. On the other hand though, you will exhaust yourself if you don't eat and sleep well (neither of which are very easy to do at the moment I'm guessing). Stay strong. There are some wonderful recoveries being made by many using this site so try to have faith. Thinking of you and your family.

  • How's things xx

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