How do you handle a 'good' day?

[Bb1878]

Hi All, hope your all doing ok.

This might sound like a silly question (im good at that!), but i just wondered how you handle yourself when you are having a 'good' day? Obviously the word 'good' is very relative here, and everyone is different. The reason I am asking? Today I am having a very good day, and that for me looks like this - my fatigue levels are reasonably low, my thinking has been clearer (and faster), my vision has been pretty good, Ive not had any nausea today & i am feeling much more like my 'old pre-PCS' self. I know this wont last however, but I am enjoying it while i can.

I have done something different today however - very little! Usually, when Im having a good day I overdo things because i feel good and end up back to square one within a day or so (the old boom and bust cycle). Not today, Ive kept the energy usage in-check - ive slowed myself down purposely, rested up frequently and had brain breaks (even tho i didnt feel i needed them) and just generally tried to take it easy. Now i dont know if anything i am doing is making a difference, but it got me thinking - its not just when we are struggling that we need to 'do the right thing' - its when were on-top aswell - this thing is never far away from us is it?

Anyway, just thought id ask the question - when you have a "good" day do you go for it and do as much as you can and take the consequences later? Or do you take a more cautious approach and try and keep it going as long as possible? Does it really matter either way anyway? Id be interested in ppls thoughts!

Cheers and best wishes, Bb

[Jonty77]

I’m a year in and I’m just starting to get the message that when I’m having a good day it’s so important to do all the so called ‘right’ things just as you did today. I’ve had plenty of experience of fooling myself and thinking ‘wow, I’m back, I’m cured’ and then later that day laying on the floor wherever I am and realising I overdid it and this tbi stuff ain’t gone nowhere.

I have a suspicion it might be even more important to do the ‘right things’ on a good day. It’s actually nice to chill out as a choice rather than because you just can’t do anything even if you tried.

I liked your post because it got me thinking. I often feel so guilty and ashamed that I can’t manage all the things I used to and in the way I used to. On a good day I want to prove how capable I am, but that usually ends with several recovery days and feeling guilty; and so the cycle begins again. So the next good day is going to be me quietly and gently enjoying the feeling of feeling good and I am not going to try and justify anything to anyone.

It’s nice to give each other permission to have a restful day out of choice😀

[Bb1878 in reply to Jonty77]

Hi Jonty77

Thanks for your reply. You are right we should enjoy the moment when we are feeling morelike our old selves, without overdoing things (easier said than done!). No need to feel guilty at al - we are doing the best we can. Incidently I came back down to earth with a bump today 🙄, oh well it was still a very good day yesterday anyway,gotto celebrate the little wins! 😀.

Take care, Bb

[Morinagirl]

Unfortunately the temptation is to do everything you normally can't but I agree it's good to pace yourself and try and 'store' some of the good bits a good day brings

[JULIETstevens in reply to Morinagirl]

i am starting to experience more and more 'good' days- ie my mood is very good (enjoying life and feeling not too 'disabled'- doing things independently. So, just enjoy it and gradually you'll have more and more good days, until it'll be the norm and you'll find you enjoy life again- that happened to me anyway. So, please do tell me a bit more about yourself if you want to try making a new friend on here (which i always do) juliet.....

[Charty23 in reply to JULIETstevens]

I’m 2 months after sah feeling fed up today! Would like to chat if you are interested ?

[JULIETstevens in reply to Charty23]

IT is still early days for you. i'm 4years post TBI and have built a new, life i'm happy with, Build yours too and see how you feel after. Don't dwell on the negatives. However, i understand your feelings as it's such a terrible trauma to go through, but stay strong as you can do this and build a new, happy life again... juliet xxx

[Charty23 in reply to JULIETstevens]

thank you

[Charty23 in reply to Charty23]

did it take you long before you felt better?

[JULIETstevens in reply to Charty23]

i'm now 4 years post TBI and been feeling happy for a while now, but i was pro-active and sought local groups and develpoed hobbies to assist in getting back my happiness. You can do the same, just keep looking for it. don;'t give up.... love ang hugs xxx

[Charty23 in reply to JULIETstevens]

thank you for replying, just not feeling good today but I will! Think I might take the dogs out!

[JULIETstevens in reply to Charty23]

that's the attitude. Don't dwell in your unhappiness, be proactive and do what makes you happy. for me it's creative writing, for you it's your dogs so go for it and you'll soon enjoy life again. juliet xxx

[Charty23 in reply to JULIETstevens]

good to hear ! Nice to chat! Thanks

[Charty23 in reply to JULIETstevens]

keep in touch!

[Leaf100]

Hi Bb,

Ideally I would still take rest breaks and really not overdue it.

However, I have found sometimes there are "I must get this done" tasks in life, and when my brain is clear or I have the physical chops for it, I may just have to get them done - and pay the price later. (Even in this case it is good to pace yourself.)

I do try to plan ahead for things, like putting in days of rest after a high cost activity.

And, in an ideal world sometimes I would also overdue it for something I really enjoyed. Though, I will say realistically I haven't done this because I usually have so many 'must do' things, the opportunity isn't there. (I have a lot on my plate.) One day I will, though.

It helps a lot to have support to make a bit more room in the half to do list, or opportunities for fun list - so a lot also depends on how much support you have for certain activities - and it is ok to ask for it if you can. I also feel a lot of us struggle with asking, and part of that is lack of awareness, and part because we don't want people to get fed up with us - but my guess is people would rather know and then could get some satisfaction in knowing they got it right.

For myself, I find it is pretty hard to really tell if pacing helps on good days, because for me things like weather changes or sudden activities in the neighbourhood - like someone cutting a tree down, getting the leaf blower out, etc - also have an impact, and I do realize I'm not completely aware of the expense of everything quite yet. Although, my intuition tells me it does.

Good question. Something I have to reassess continually.

Leaf

[Bb1878 in reply to Leaf100]

Hi Leaf, thanks for your reply. I agree there are so many things at play as u mentioned, so even if we do all the right things it could still be out of our hands ultimately, so begs the question maybe we should just go for it while we feel well enough?. I've come back down to earth with a bump today, and since I did very little yesterday I'm assuming it cant be over exertion - unless its delayed reaction from weekend maybe? Who knows, just got to enjoy the good times when they come I think! Take care. Bb

[Leaf100 in reply to Bb1878]

Sometimes just going for it is necessary because we have to get something handled - or it's a bit if rebellion, as in 'I really want to do this'.In general though, for longer term coping, the resting anyway thing is what I would pick. Otherwise, you're running on empty, or close to, all the time. From a common sense view we know that's not a healthy choice.

And yes, we don't always know if we would gave crashed anyway or not - but as time goes by we do get a better feel for it.

Leaf

[Bb1878 in reply to Leaf100]

Thanks Leaf, you are completely right of course - the house always wins in the end! Slow and steady is the way to go in the long run. Thanks Bb

[Catx1978]

Im a bull in the chine shop kind of person. If im having s good day, i then tend to overdo it to male the most of it and feel it thr next day. I really need to learn to take it easy even im feeling good

[Bb1878 in reply to Catx1978]

Hi catx, thanks for your reply. I'm usually like that aswell to be honest, but this time I took things deliberately slowly, and tried to keep doing the things we know will help us - even though I felt "ok". Did it work? Yes it did work yesterday, today however has been an unfortunate return to reality (nausea kicked in early, fatigue headaches all the usual symptoms). So, I could probably have achieved a lot more yesterday, even could have had a session on the treadmill I felt that good. The result appears to be no different whether I do nothing or do as much as I can! Oh well onwards we go.. Take Care. Bb

[Teazymaid]

I’ve done both but am learning not go over the top on good days is definitely the best to do .. just passed my 2 years ABI and have done plenty boom and busts but I’m guessing it’s all a part of recovery the good the bad and the indifferent .. all is a part of the process .. sue ..

[Life-Goes-On-2021]

I realised after a bit that ‘overdoing it’ had consequences! A good day is great and really tempting to ‘go for it’ as you say, but pacing has definitely been more beneficial. Overall, the good days are more frequent as a result. I feel.

[JULIETstevens]

well done for mastering your emotions and having a good day. how and why do you think you have achieved this? have achieved it? may be of help to people on here to hear how you did it? fOR ME, IT IS THE MENTAL PROCESS OF ACCEPTING THE TRAUMA AND MOVING ON AND BUILDING A NEW LIFE I CAN BE HAPPY WITH? WHAT ABOUT YOU? HJOW HAVE YOU ACHIEVED IT?

[JULIETstevens]

Enjoy your good day. work out what makes it good and repeat it tomorrow..... and the next day. and the next and before long you'll find hapinnes in your new life. juliet xxx